WHISTLE BLOWS
CHEERING, APPLAUSE
Good evening, I'm Jason Manford.
Welcome to Have I Got Sport For You.
An idea so good, it only took 34 years
for someone to come up with it. LAUGHTER
Tonight we'll take a sporting look back
at the last 12 months of drugs, controversy and sleaze.
And that's just the bit about Premier League refs.
LAUGHTER
Hey, hey. Book him, ref, book him.
In the sports news this year,
a new report by eminent psychologist rejects the notion
that men take sport too seriously.
SHRIEKING: Goal!
MAN YELLS
Come on!
In Derbyshire, one umpire finally proves
that no-one really understands the rules of cricket.
2012...
LIGHT COUGHING
Is it in?
CHEERING
Oh, you can't do that.
And after his last game as England manager,
Lee Carsley's leaving do takes a turn for the worse.
GROUP: Ohh...
CHEERING
ROWDY CHATTER
RAUCOUS CHEERING
LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE
Let's meet tonight's teams -
with Jon Richardson,
it's legendary England fast bowler Stuart Broad
and Paralympic cyclist and Celebrity MasterChef champion Kadeena Cox.
CHEERING, APPLAUSE
And joining Maisie Adam are
boxing's answer to Donald Trump - Eddie Hearn,
and Olympic heptathlon silver medallist Katarina Johnson-Thompson.
CHEERING, APPLAUSE
Round One is the disciplinary panel,
where we grumble about the teams or individuals
over the past year who didn't do quite as well as we wanted them to.
So, Maisie, Katarina and Eddie,
watch this and tell me who it is
and should we let them off or tell them off?
OK.
Oh... Oh!
Bless her.
Raygun... Oh!
LAUGHTER
Oh!
It's worse with each time, isn't it?
LAUGHTER
This is Raygun, isn't it?
It is. From this year's Olympics.
This is why I think you've got to really respect, like,
the broadcast and the commentators at things like the Olympics.
Mm. Because they are able to just sort of continue with
such poise and professionalism without saying stuff like,
"Is that really break dancing? I don't know."
I don't know how anybody watched that with a straight face,
I really don't. Why do you think...
Specifically, why do you think her performance was mocked?
You just watched it, Jason!
LAUGHTER
Was it something that the Olympians talked about?
It was like an urban myth.
I was going around the Olympic Village trying to find her,
in all honesty. Oh, wow.
Yeah. Like Slenderman? Yeah... LAUGHTER
Does she even exist?!
If you say Raygun three times in the mirror,
she appears behind you going...
LAUGHTER
She's actually retired since, as well. Very sad.
No. No, you know what it is?
They've taken this out of the Olympics for 2028 now,
and I think she feels, like, solely responsible.
Well, she is responsible.
LAUGHTER
Solely!
JON: It does seem a bit of a shame.
To make a mockery of break dancing feels a bit sniffy
on behalf of the break dancing community.
I thought they were all like...
Didn't know you WERE part of the break dancing community!
LAUGHTER
That's where I got my bald spot -
practising the spin.
Yeah!
I'll tell you, I get some speed up.
APPLAUSE
Head Judge Martin Gilian praised her originality
and celebration of her roots, saying...
LAUGHTER
I must admit, I quite enjoyed watching it
because having a few sporting battles against the Aussies,
I don't mind them being bad at things.
Yeah, yeah. That's true. Yeah.
And she was really bad. I reckon we could take them at break dancing,
is that what you're saying? I couldn't.
No, no, I'm not saying that!
LAUGHTER
On the other end of the scale,
Katarina, you had your best Olympics to date.
How did that feel? Come on!
CHEERING, APPLAUSE
How did that feel?
Ah, well, it was a really good time for me.
It was the second best ever score.
Silver medal.
I've been to four Olympics, never got a medal.
And this time, yeah, I'm glad to bring something home.
Smashed it, mate.
And, Kadeena, another gold medal
to add to your tally at this year's Paralympics.
That's amazing as well.
Phenomenal.
How many is that now?
Five. Five!
Five. Unbelievable.
What was it like this year?
Normally, I compete pretty much from the beginning until the end,
doing the two sports,
but because I only did one sport this time,
we went into the village and I had already competed,
so I was just living the dream.
So I was just walking around. Chilling.
You know, getting a Costa with my face on it,
you know, eating the muffins.
Would you be like swanning around wearing the medal?
Erm, no.
Really?
If I had Kadeena's medals,
I'd be wearing them all the time.
Honestly.
Stuart, cricket's going to be back at the Olympics in 2028.
Why?
LAUGHTER
Yeah, no idea, really.
But looking forward to it.
It's LA, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Next Olympics.
Do you think they'll tempt you back out of retirement, into...?
Absolutely not.
LAUGHTER
Absolutely not, no.
This isn't happening, let's be honest.
2028 in America?
They don't need break dancing,
the whole country is going to be broken.
Hey, this is the sport one. OK? LAUGHTER
Right.
APPLAUSE
Let's just remember where we are. Remember where we are.
Andy Murray's final appearance was at the Paris Olympics,
representing Team GB in the men's doubles alongside Dan Evans.
After his retirement, what did he post?
Oh!
KADEENA: It was something so simple, wasn't it?
JON: Yeah, he said...
SCOTTISH ACCENT: "I never even liked tennis anyway."
That was it.
LAUGHTER
He didn't look like he liked tennis, to be fair.
LAUGHTER
Yeah, he went method.
The retirement this year of Murray, as well as Rafael Nadal,
is a real shot in the arm for Novak Djokovic,
though, of course, he won't accept it.
LAUGHTER
CHEERING, APPLAUSE
Jon, Stuart, and Kadeena, here's something for you to look at.
JON: Oh, you've upset me now.
Aw!
Looking back on when we first met.
CHUCKLING
It doesn't want to come home.
LAUGHTER
TEARFULLY: And there's beautiful, beautiful Gareth.
How did he upset the nation?
By giving hope to people who, frankly, don't deserve it.
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
To be fair, you know, his record in tournaments is semifinal,
final, quarterfinal, final.
And the quarterfinal was Qatar.
So that was a political statement as well.
Oh, isn't it?
That was him saying,
"I'll do it, but I'm not going to try my bestest."
LAUGHTER
He made it look like hard work.
MAISIE: Yeah. EDDIE: Yeah.
Every game was just painful to watch.
Go on, Kadeena! Don't hold back.
I just thought... I know what you mean, though, yeah.
Well, there were three exciting moments in the whole tournament.
Oh! Erm, Bellingham's kick?
Bellingham's kick. Bellingham's overhead.
What a moment that was.
Cole Palmer's equaliser in the final. Yeah.
And Saka's equaliser against Switzerland.
That's what we're saying is the three favourite ones.
Would you like to see my Euros highlight?
Yes. Yeah? Here we go.
I wish they'd take that screen down, then we'd see all the punters.
But if they took the screen down, they wouldn't be able to watch
the game, would they? they'd be looking at the back of our heads.
LAUGHTER They wouldn't turn up for that.
No, you... Definitely, no-one wants to see
the back of your head these days, do they, Frank? Absolutely not.
That's for sure. Erm...
LAUGHTER
Germany, are they...
Do you think they're stronger favourites
than perhaps we thought at the start...
LAUGHTER
If we zoom in here, you can actually see the moment
Frank Lampard's heart breaks. LAUGHTER
No-one wants to see the back of your head these days,
do they, Frank? Absolutely not.
That's for sure. Erm...
Germany, are they... Do you think they're stronger favourites
than perhaps we thought at the start...
LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE
He-he, he!
Also this year, former Republic of Ireland midfielder Lee Carsley
replaced Southgate as the interim manager.
What did he refuse to do before his first match in charge?
Sing the national anthem.
That's right, he said he didn't do it
because he wanted to stay focused on the match ahead.
SNICKERING
How into it did he think he was going to get?
Still singing it an hour later?
LAUGHTER
MAISIE: Well, that's the whole thing with Tuchel, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.
Is he going to sing it or not?
And people really mind... Sing it!
Yeah. Sing our song!
Save our king!
All right. Well, listen, it's all right, man.
They've got their own. It's totally fine.
He's already said, Tuchel,
he said, "Well, I don't know what I'm going to do
"because I recognise your anthem is very emotional."
You're like, "Yeah, I already don't trust your judgment."
LAUGHTER
MAISIE: Yeah!
So as we said, Thomas Tuchel is taking over as England manager.
Some fans, would you believe,
are not happy about it.
And they often ring talkSPORT.
LAUGHTER
Tuchel's in charge. What do you think?
ON PHONE: Oh, it's all over.
Done. That's me done.
55, been watching England,
supporting England since my grandad took my hand
and took me along to the first game at Wembley against Russia.
I'm a working man. I love my wife. I love my family.
I work all the overtime hours I have to -
to get tickets to go to a game and it all means nothing.
I'm not... I'm not....
I am not watching an England team with a German manager.
That's it. Done.
LAUGHTER
None of what he said was really relevant.
Why does it... Why does Tuchel being the English manager
maybe make you love your wife less?
LAUGHTER
I thought that.
So that was Gareth Southgate's failure to win the Euros.
Before becoming England manager,
Southgate was famous for missing a penalty
that knocked us out of the competition,
but he's now managed to put all that to bed
by getting us knocked out of four more.
Oh, Jesus!
Furious. Furious.
Sorry, Jon. Sorry, Jon!
Sorry, Jon.
One of England's iconic goals from the 2024 Euros
was scored by Ivan Toney when he took a penalty without looking.
Coincidentally, a technique first used
by Gareth Southgate against Germany.
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
Time now for the most prestigious award of the sporting calendar,
the inaugural Have I Got Sport For You
Alternative Sports Personality Of The Year.
It needs some work.
LAUGHTER
We've conducted a poll on X and after crunching the numbers
and counting literally tens of votes,
we have arrived at a top three.
Here is the shortlist.
Former Man United manager Erik ten Hag.
Head coach of the US women's national team Emma Hayes.
Boxer Daniel Dubois.
Retired cricketer Jimmy Anderson.
Paralympian Jodie Grinham
and Saudi cultural minister Turki Alalshikh.
So, who made the top three?
Maisie, Katarina and Eddie, you can go first.
Let's go Emma Hayes.
Emma Hayes. OK. Let's go Emma Hayes.
And why have you gone for Emma Hayes? Tell us.
Well, she's gone from Chelsea,
where she's reigned supreme... Mm-hm.
..to managing the women's US team.
And she went straight into the Olympics and immediately...
Yeah, took over, like, really late on. Yeah.
And then, then went on to win it. Oh, with, like, weeks to go!
Yeah. Yeah. Mad. Yeah.
See, Kamala Harris, it is possible.
LAUGHTER
Emma Hayes, you're quite right,
is the former manager of Chelsea Women
and now head coach of the United States women's national team.
And she's won her fifth successive Women's Super League title
with Chelsea, an Olympic gold medal with the US.
She's the only Chelsea manager not to be sacked after six months.
LAUGHTER
Can't get rid of her.
In October, Hayes won the Ballon d'Or
for Women's Coach Of The Year.
Which footballer is the award named after?
Uh, Johan Cruyff? Yep.
Top women's footballer Johan Cruyff is there.
And so Emma Hayes did make the podium in third spot.
So well done to you guys.
Very good.
APPLAUSE
Jon, Kadeena and Stuart, who do you want?
Shall we pick your friend?
Could do, couldn't we?
Yeah. OVERLAPPING SPEECH
We'll have Turki Alalshikh.
LAUGHTER
Go on. Very good.
Let's go for another beautiful, beautiful patriot, Jimmy Anderson.
Jimmy Anderson. OK.
So, in March, Jimmy Anderson became the third bowler in history
to get 700 Test match wickets.
Impressive stuff.
Stuart, you came close, though. How many did you get?
Ah, just over 600.
604. That's not bad at all.
CHEERING, APPLAUSE
Very good.
And I tell you what,
if you asked Jimmy Anderson, "Would you swap the last hundred
"to have got a six with your last ball with the bat
"and an over with your last ball?"
He would have absolutely done that.
That's a phenomenal... You know what?
I was going to ask you about that.
It was almost engineered, the end there. It was amazing.
Yeah. It was...
I actually don't think I could have written
the script myself, to be honest. It was an amazing way to finish.
Yeah. You know, England versus Australia,
which was a dream to play in anyway.
But, yeah, to win a game with my last ever ball taking a wicket
was pretty cool.
Let's go back to Jimmy Anderson.
How was his retirement announced?
Was he just not picked?
LAUGHTER
Yeah, I mean, actually, yeah. It was enforced.
He said he felt like Joe Pesci in Goodfellas,
ushered into a room under the impression
that he was going to get made, only to be shot.
Just the way you want to go.
Absolutely.
Stuart, if you were going through a spell of not taking any wickets...
Yeah. ..what would you do to try and turn it around?
What's the one thing you go for?
I feel like you know this and it's going to embarrass me.
Not at all. You wrote it.
Erm...
LAUGHTER
If I was going through a bad run of form,
I'd swap the aftershave I was using.
Yeah. You said...
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
LAUGHTER
SNICKERING, LAUGHTER
I like it.
It's a good book. It's a good book. Hey...
Look, look, I've written a book,
and it's hard to get to your word count. Yeah.
So fair play.
LAUGHTER
Jimmy Anderson did, in fact, make the podium in second spot.
So well done to you guys.
Very good.
APPLAUSE
Maisie, Katarina and Eddie, your turn.
Who do you fancy off our podium?
I mean, you're here, Eddie. I think we've...
I just think although Turki Alalshikh has made
a major financial contribution to boxing,
to fighters and to my company and myself,
it would actually take someone
erm, with a real lack of integrity to pick him.
So I'm going to pick him. Oh!
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
I'm sorry, I'm absolutely overruling you here.
And I'm going to go Daniel Dubois.
Oh, well, that's it. I'm going.
For people who don't know, what's he done this year?
Beat someone up and won lots of money. Yeah.
Oh, it's amazing, really.
He beat Anthony Joshua... He beat Anthony Joshua.
..in five rounds to retain his IBF heavyweight title
at Wembley Stadium, despite having been
the pre-betting underdog going into the fight.
Yeah. Yeah, thanks for that picture.
Erm...
Marvellous.
It wasn't all bad news, though, Eddie.
Katie Taylor brought a bit of dignity
to the recent Tyson-Jake Paul clash in November.
You must have been pleased with that.
Oh, she's an ultimate hero of mine.
She's an amazing athlete.
She won gold at London 2012 for the first time that it was allowed.
She's undisputed at lightweight.
Undisputed at super lightweight.
I think she's the greatest athlete of all time from Ireland.
I love that.
APPLAUSE
I didn't know that. It's amazing.
Did anybody stay up to watch the Mike Tyson-Jake Paul fight?
Even Tyson didn't.
LAUGHTER
You can say what you want about Mike Tyson, though,
he is the life and soul of a party.
You know, he's one of nature's sunbeams, isn't he?
Here he is, being interviewed by a bright-eyed TikToker.
So after such a successful career,
what type of legacy would you like to leave behind
when it's all said and done?
Well, I don't know.
I don't believe in the word legacy.
I think that's another word for ego.
It means absolutely nothing to me.
I'm just passing through.
I'm going to die and it's going to be over.
Who cares about legacy after that?
What... What a big ego.
So, "I'm going to die, I want people to think that I'm this.
"I'm great. I'm..."
No. We're nothing. When you're dead, you're dust.
We're absolutely nothing.
Our legacy is nothing.
Well, thank you so much for sharing that.
LAUGHTER
He gives quite a long answer as well, doesn't he?
Mmm. To be fair, it's quite a wordy answer.
He should have ended with, "Sorry to chew your ear off, but..."
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
In 2021, Anthony Joshua and our own Eddie Hearn announced
a new promotional deal to last until the end of the boxer's career,
which turned out to be the fifth round against Dubois.
Oh!
LAUGHTER
And if you know Anthony, please tell him I'm really sorry.
Unfortunately, Daniel did not make the final three, so bad luck there.
Next guess, please, Jon's team.
I mean, personally, I've been very inspired
by what Erik ten Hag has achieved this year.
As a Leeds United fan?
As a Leeds United fan,
I think he should have been given longer to finish the job.
In October, Erik was sacked by Manchester United
with the club 14th in the Premier League. Yeah.
LAUGHING: With just three wins from their opening nine matches,
totalling two and a half years of bringing joy
to the rest of football.
Let's remind ourselves of the moment that the bubble burst for Erik.
LAUGHTER
After completing his 1.25 billion takeover of United,
Sir Jim Ratcliffe sacked another high profile name
in a cost cutting exercise.
Who was that?
Oh, Alex Ferguson!
It was Alex Ferguson. Yes. Yes.
Sir Alex, who's been milking the club for two million a year
for the last 11 years...
LAUGHTER
..just to sit in the stands
with a face like a boiling vat of tomato soup.
Erm...
Can you name any other cost cutting measures
they've implemented so far?
Yeah. All the celebration parties, they've been cancelled.
Yes!
Well, the trophy parade, that's gone. They're not doing that.
This is the first time I've seen proper glee in your face.
Yes. Allegedly, there have been over 250 redundancies,
and agency staff no longer receive a complimentary lunch box
for their shift.
MAISIE: Oh!
You wait till Marcus Rashford hears about this.
LAUGHTER
Fuming. Fuming!
So that was Erik ten Hag,
who was sacked by Manchester United in October.
People say he was a bad manager,
but in his defence was Harry Maguire.
So what was he supposed to do? LAUGHTER
Erik did make it onto the podium in no less than the top spot.
MAISIE: Balls! So well done to you guys.
Let's see the final line up on the podium.
Third place Emma Hayes, second Jimmy Anderson
and top for Erik ten Hag!
And now, at last, it's time for the moment you've all been waiting for.
It's the dartboard of minority sports!
CHEERING, APPLAUSE
In this round, we'll be combining the pure skill of
professional darts with cutting edge CGI
to ask our teams to identify stories
from some of the more niche sporting events this year,
inspired by the Doge of Darts, Luke Littler.
When you hear someone's breathed new life into darts,
you just assume it's going to be a paramedic.
LAUGHTER
Jon, do you want to throw a dart?
Who at?
LAUGHTER
I'm going to throw it like Mensur Suljovic.
CHUCKLING
OOHING, LAUGHTER
Oh! Look at that magic!
Any idea what sport that is?
MAISIE: Oh, wait, he's got something between his legs!
It looks like Quidditch, doesn't it?
KATARINA: It's like the broom. Like a...
What do you reckon, Jon's team?
I think I heard you say it. Q-Quidditch?
That's exactly right. It was Quidditch.
Well done!
It's actually called Quadball now.
Each team has seven players on the pitch.
Can you name the four positions? Go for it.
You've got your seekers, your beaters, your chasers?
Chasers. And keeper, right?
Did I say that? No. That's the other one.
Keeper. And the keeper! Yeah. Well done! Fantastic!
APPLAUSE
There's also, interestingly...
Never has so much work been done by the word interestingly.
Erm...
LAUGHTER
There is also an impartial role of a flag runner
whose sole job is to run on the pitch 20 minutes into the game
in all yellow with a tennis ball attached to their shorts,
acting as the snitch.
RAUCOUS LAUGHTER
Ho-ho!
That does happen to you at a certain age.
LAUGHTER
Eddie's thinking,
"Can I sell this to Saudi?" EDDIE: No, I'm not!
APPLAUSE
I was thinking...
Hello?
Is that Turki Alalshikh?
Your Excellency? Hello?
Gone. He's gone.
I feel like they'd have more beaters.
EXCLAMATIONS LAUGHTER
Very good.
The creator, Alex Benepe, gave a Ted talk...
I mean, they will give Ted talks to anybody.
..where he made a certain claim about Quadball.
What was it?
He'd have said something ludicrous like,
"One day this will be at Wembley,"
or, "This will be the most popular sport ever." Olympic sport.
Do you know what? I'm going to give you a point there, Jon,
because he actually said...
Wow.
That is a man after my own heart!
LAUGHTER
That's right.
Quadball, which recently changed its name from Quidditch
due to JK Rowling's outspoken views
because apparently people who run around clapping,
pretending they're wizards on broomsticks can feel shame.
LAUGHTER
Here we go. Here we go.
OK.
Very good. Shall we have another throw of a dart?
Maisie? We have got an audience.
Just don't...
Oh, you go...
JASON LAUGHS
MAISIE: Oh!
EDDIE: Oh, my God.
Yes!
I've been to this. You've been to it?!
I've been to this. What is it?
It's professional hobbyhorsing.
Oh, my God... And it's every bit as insane in real life.
We filmed a pilot for this show,
and we turned up to this sports hall where all of this stuff was set up,
and then this woman came in.
She had these three hobby horses, right?
Two of them were like jet black horses.
One was sort of tan coloured, and she'd named them.
She went, "This is Miss Chief,"
like as a play on words.
Oh, I see, yeah. Like, "This is Miss Chief.
"This one is Miss Understanding."
So I went to the third one.
I was like, "Oh, this one could be Miss Demeanour."
And she looked at me, dead at, and she went,
"Well, no, cos they're not siblings."
LAUGHTER
I can die happy because I've seen this sport.
Well, luckily we can all die happy because we've got a clip.
Oh, yes!
LAUGHTER
I love it.
APPLAUSE
I think I could be good at that, you know?
Yeah.
That is honestly the narrative arc we all want.
KJT, post heptathlete then becomes professional hobbyhorse...
If it's in 2028, maybe I can get a gold there.
Yeah! Oh, my God.
Absolutely.
How do you... How do you think it works?
What's the... We're sort of cynical about it,
but now I think about it, it's more of a sport
than actual horse sport because the horse is doing most of the work.
They're doing all of that.
STUART: Yeah, but why bother with the horse?
Well, you'd look ridiculous without the fake horse.
LAUGHTER
Cos people need some dignity!
Time now for the missing words round.
I'm going to show you a quote, post, or a bit of punditry from this year,
and I want you to fill in the gaps.
First up, what's missing from this quote?
What? KATARINA: I think I know this.
It's, "they can qualify for an Olympic Games."
Yeah. You're joking? Exactly right.
No!
Oh, my God.
That was after the break dancing.
LAUGHTER
May as well say, "One in four Brits are overconfident men."
That's a bit less...
That feels like that could also be said.
I really wish that, like,
they would take just one random person from the crowd
and put them into an event.
What is it, ten lanes or something?
If you put, like, just Jeff.
Yeah! You know what I mean?
I think that's a good idea.
And you just get picked at random for it. Yeah.
Even like in events like high jump and stuff,
that would be really fun to watch.
I just thought of another one.
Like the proper athletes could just have one of those
fake horses in between their legs and maybe, like,
still beat the random Jeff.
I would watch that.
Yeah, we both do the high jump,
but you've got to have a hobby horse!
For the next one, can you tell me,
according to this BBC Sport post, Birmingham City manager
Wayne Rooney sacked by...
JON: Everyone he's ever worked for.
LAUGHTER
And by the time this goes out, Plymouth as well, I think.
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
Birmingham City is the clue as well.
Think of the Midlands.
A Peaky Blinder?
I'm going to give you a point for that, Stuart. Oh, yeah? No!
Well done. MAISIE: What?!
"By order of the Peaky Blinders."
Very good.
When you said think of the Midlands, my brain went,
"..by Alison Hammond."
Yeah.
What's missing from this line from Eddie Hearn's book
Relentless - 12 Rounds To Success.
Do you know it?
He didn't write it. What are you talking about?
LAUGHTER
Take in less than 20%?
Oh! Oh!
LAUGHTER
That's very good.
It's something to do with journalists.
Not once in my career have I had notes in a press conference.
That's exactly right. Well done.
APPLAUSE
Spoken at a press conference with notes.
Eddie's book is a lot like his boxers.
Once you put it down, it stays down.
LAUGHTER
Yeah...
LAUGHTER DROWNS OUT SPEECH
Cheap now? Is it? Very cheap, yeah.
Genuinely saw it for 2.99 the other day.
Ooh!
Have you ever seen one of your DVDs in the charity shop?
I took them in.
LAUGHTER
Ha-ha, ha!
WHISTLE BLOWS
Oh, that is the end of the show.
And the final scores are
Maisie's team with eight points,
Jon's team with nine.
Well done.
All right.
APPLAUSE
Thanks to our teams -
Jon Richardson, Stuart Broad and Kadeena Cox.
Maisie Adam, Eddie Hearn and Katarina Johnson-Thompson.
CHEERING
Before we go, there's just time to tell you...
In Manchester, one enthusiastic City fan regrets
breaking into the training ground to get closer to Jack Grealish.
No! Yes!
CHEERING
LAUGHTER
At his future son-in-law's stag do,
Roy Keane arrives a bit late.
# Sweet Caroline
GROUP: # Dun, dun, dun
ALL: # Good times never... #
MAISIE: Oh, my God!
And there's some good news for British sport
as we finally win our first medal
at the World Recycling Championships.
CHEERING
Goodnight.
WHISTLE BLOWS