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Downloaded from
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♪ [rock and roll drums
come up] ♪
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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♪ [synthesizer comes up] ♪
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♪ [Female vocalist harmonizing] ♪
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♪ He told me, ♪
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♪ "I've seen it rise. ♪
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♪ But, it always falls. ♪
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♪ I've seen him come,
I've seen him go." ♪
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♪ He said,"All things pass
into the night." ♪
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♪ And I said, "Oh no, sir,
I must say wrong. ♪
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♪ I must disagree.
Oh no, sir, I must say wrong ♪
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♪ Won't you listen to me?" ♪
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♪ He told me, ♪
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♪ "I've seen it all before. ♪
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♪ I've been there. ♪
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♪ I've seen my hopes and dreams
lying on the ground. ♪
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♪ I've seen the sky
just begin to fall." ♪
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♪ He said, "All things
pass into the night." ♪
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♪ And I said, "Oh no, sir.
I must say wrong. ♪
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♪ I must disagree. Oh no, sir,
I must say wrong. ♪
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♪ Won't you listen to me?" ♪
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I grew up in Mexico City
in the 1980s
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and my life
revolved around music.
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I bought my first record
when I was 6,
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a 45 of Blondie's
"Heart of Glass"
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and listened
to the radio constantly,
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recording songs
onto cassette tapes.
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00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:47,684
My sister and I would
spend our weekends
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singing our favorite songs
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and recording each other,
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and at this point I discovered
my next love...
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Making movies.
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00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:57,986
In high school, I started going
dancing at Goth clubs
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and going to the movies
every week.
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I went to see
The Silence of the Lambs
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and was instantly struck by
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the haunting song that Jame Gumb
dances to in his dress-up scene.
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00:03:08,538 --> 00:03:12,625
The song was "Goodbye Horses"
by someone named Q Lazzarus.
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00:03:13,001 --> 00:03:15,169
A few years later,
I moved to New York City,
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00:03:15,420 --> 00:03:17,797
went to film school
and learned how to DJ.
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00:03:18,047 --> 00:03:19,757
I started throwing
weekly parties
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and would usually play
"Goodbye Horses".
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The crowds loved it.
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♪ ["Goodbye Horses" playing
in background] ♪
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I tried to find
more music by Q Lazzarus,
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but there was none to be found
other than that song.
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But I did learn that Q
was named Diane Luckey
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and that she'd been
a taxi driver in the 80s.
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I also learned that
she'd completely vanished
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in the mid-1990s,
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and that none of her friends
or collaborators
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had any idea
what had happened to her.
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Some even thought
she might be dead.
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00:03:58,421 --> 00:03:59,922
Meanwhile,
the song "Goodbye Horses"
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became more and more popular,
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with several bands
doing covers of it.
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♪ [Various versions of
"Goodbye Horses"] ♪
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♪ He told me... ♪
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♪ I’ve seen it rise... ♪
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♪ But... ♪
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♪ It always falls. ♪
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♪ I've seen him come,
I've seen him go. ♪
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♪ He said... ♪
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♪ All things pass
into the night. ♪
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♪ And I said..
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"Oh no sir,
I must say wrong"... ♪
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♪ I must disagree
Oh no, sir... ♪
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It was also featured
in a Gucci commercial,
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several video games,
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TV shows and movies.
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My DJ days wound down and
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I focused increasingly
on filmmaking,
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00:05:05,113 --> 00:05:06,864
but I never stopped
wondering what
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had happened to Diane Luckey.
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In 2019 I read an article
in Dazed and Confused
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in which the writer
went to an address listed
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for a Diane Luckey
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in Staten Island,
but she was unable to find her.
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A few months later,
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I called a car service to go
from Brooklyn to Manhattan
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and struck up a conversation
with the driver.
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She was an African-American
woman in her late 50s,
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and mentioned she lived
in Staten Island.
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She was playing Neil Young,
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and I asked her if she had
ever seen him live,
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to which she replied,
"My concert days are long gone."
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I then asked if
she had ever seen Q Lazzarus.
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She was a bit taken aback,
and said she'd heard of her,
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and changed the subject.
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And then,
when we got to Manhattan
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and I was about
to get out of the car,
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she turned and extended
her hand, and said,
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"Nice to meet you Eva, I'm Q."
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We're doing this documentary
to let you know what went wrong,
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and what happened.
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The truth!
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That why I disappeared.
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Because I had to.
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♪ [Electronic music comes up] ♪
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♪ Yesterday ♪
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♪ Half the world ♪
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♪ Was coming on to me ♪
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♪ Now it's today ♪
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♪ that I need ♪
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♪ someone to be with me. ♪
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♪ Ooh have you ever had a love ♪
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♪ that you could
only think of? ♪
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♪ Pictures in my mind ♪
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♪ Ooh leaving them behind. ♪
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♪ Your love is my mistake ♪
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Hello Q! Hi, girl.
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Say: I'm back!
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♪ I was living in a dream ♪
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♪ a dream ♪
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♪ with no peace... ♪
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♪ [Electronic music fades out] ♪
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[laughter]
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I really gotta tell you guys.
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This is like really going over
a person's life...[laughing]
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that has been, you know,
under the ground...
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for a really long time.
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Umm, I think since
Philadelphia, the movie.
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So much I haven't looked at
in so many years.
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We're talking 30 years here.
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Close to it.
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So these are my parents
in Asbury Park, New Jersey.
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My father was a veteran
of World War II,
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and he had the opportunity
to buy a beautiful home
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in Neptune, New Jersey.
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And that's where we lived.
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My mother and father
had 7 children,
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and all of us are alive
except my sister Sharon.
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I decided I wanted
to be a singer when
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my elementary school teacher
decided to take us to see
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Bubbling Brown Sugar
in New York.
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♪ [band strikes up] ♪
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♪ [spirited musical chorus] ♪
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I decided that
that's where I was gonna live,
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and I was gonna be a singer,
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and I wasn't quite sure if I was
gonna be a Broadway singer,
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or a rock star,
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a pop star, whatever,
but I was gonna sing.
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I was about 12 years old
and I turned to the church.
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And I had my own choir.
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And we used to
travel up and down
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00:10:01,909 --> 00:10:04,829
to different
Baptist churches and sing,
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00:10:05,329 --> 00:10:06,789
and we were quite good.
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We were quite good.
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00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:11,419
Okay so let me explain to you
a little bit about the church,
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Mount Pisgah,
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00:10:13,045 --> 00:10:15,089
the church that
I was raised up in.
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Our family played
a very big part in the church
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because my mother and father
had 7 children.
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We were in the choir,
we were missionaries.
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You know, all the activities in
the church we were part of.
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And here it is...
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Mount Pisgah Baptist Church.
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And it looks the same.
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Believe it or not,
it looks the same.
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Now I can see that...
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Oh, some of the sisters
are still here.
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Lemme go ask whether or not
the church is still open.
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Ooh, girl!
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[warm laughter]
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Oh my goodness!
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00:11:01,844 --> 00:11:03,429
Miss Diane Luckey!
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You know I go under
Q Lazzarus now,
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and we're doing a film.
Give me a hug!
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- Girl, lookee here.
- You guys don't be ageing.
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Tell me what the secret is,
if you say Vaseline
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I'm gonna hit you!
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- I just say Jesus!
- Just keeping moving, right?
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As you can see,
when we rolled up,
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they knew me right away.
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[warm laughter]
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It's so good to see them because
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those women,
literally they're all I knew.
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I went from school,
home to church.
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School, home to church.
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And that's the way
it was, honey.
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Growing up in...
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such a spiritual home...
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was difficult and
the reason being is that...
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All of us were very musical and
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it wasn't about
singing spirituals,
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it was about R&B.
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It was about what was
being played on the radio.
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00:12:13,165 --> 00:12:14,583
And what we were listening to.
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00:12:14,834 --> 00:12:16,252
And what we were listening to.
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00:12:16,919 --> 00:12:24,051
I'm in the genre of Dionne Warwick
and Anita Baker.
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00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:28,514
And you always wanted
to be Rod Stewart!
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00:12:28,764 --> 00:12:29,974
That's right!
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00:12:30,891 --> 00:12:32,977
- So...
- Sorry!
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00:12:33,227 --> 00:12:37,022
That was something that
I had to try to ascertain why.
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Because that was not
in the house at all.
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No.
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What first inspired me
was the fact that
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00:12:45,739 --> 00:12:48,868
my older sister could sing.
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00:12:49,743 --> 00:12:52,830
And went after her dream.
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She didn't go after
higher education
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00:12:55,749 --> 00:12:57,501
or a husband and children
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00:12:57,751 --> 00:12:59,253
with a picket fence or whatever.
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She went after her dream.
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00:13:01,505 --> 00:13:03,299
And when you go
after your dream,
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00:13:03,549 --> 00:13:05,301
there's nothing like it.
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00:13:05,634 --> 00:13:07,303
There's good times
and bad times,
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00:13:07,553 --> 00:13:09,597
but there's nothing like it.
209
00:13:10,848 --> 00:13:15,853
So I decided at 18 it's time
for me to go to New York,
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00:13:16,103 --> 00:13:19,189
and it was against
my parent's wishes because
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00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:22,067
they wanted to see me
go on to college.
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00:13:22,318 --> 00:13:25,988
And I just didn't have
the patience to wait for that.
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00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:29,116
[guitar music comes up]
♪ Summertime ♪
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00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:33,162
I lived in the Bronx on Teller
Avenue, the south Bronx.
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00:13:33,454 --> 00:13:36,248
That was some really tough
times, and that was when rap
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00:13:36,498 --> 00:13:39,126
just started to come out.
217
00:13:40,502 --> 00:13:43,213
I used to do backup work
in some studios
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00:13:43,464 --> 00:13:48,385
and it just wasn't giving me
enough, so I started writing.
219
00:13:48,886 --> 00:13:53,933
I became a taxi driver
because of my lifestyle.
220
00:13:54,224 --> 00:13:56,977
I couldn't get
a regular paying 9-5,
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00:13:57,227 --> 00:13:58,646
and I didn't want one.
222
00:13:58,896 --> 00:14:00,147
I always wanted to be free,
223
00:14:00,397 --> 00:14:02,650
be able to get up and go
when I want to go.
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00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:04,276
Do what I want to do.
225
00:14:04,526 --> 00:14:08,656
That's when I started getting
real serious about my music.
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00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:12,409
The melody was not going
towards gospel,
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00:14:12,993 --> 00:14:17,706
or soul, R&B,
228
00:14:18,123 --> 00:14:20,542
you know rhythm and blues.
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00:14:21,752 --> 00:14:24,546
It was heading towards rock.
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00:14:24,922 --> 00:14:28,008
♪ Until that morning...♪
231
00:14:28,717 --> 00:14:32,513
♪ There ain't nothing
gonna harm you... ♪
232
00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:42,064
♪ Cause your Momma and Daddy
is standing by. ♪
233
00:14:43,148 --> 00:14:48,487
Well, I met Bill Garvey
at the Lower East Side...
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00:14:49,905 --> 00:14:51,323
at a party.
235
00:14:51,573 --> 00:14:55,619
And we started hanging out
just me and him,
236
00:14:55,869 --> 00:14:57,204
and writing.
237
00:14:57,454 --> 00:14:59,498
We performed at SNAFU,
238
00:14:59,748 --> 00:15:02,418
that was my first
little performance.
239
00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:06,088
And I performed at the Pyramid
down in the East Village,
240
00:15:06,338 --> 00:15:08,132
and a couple of
other little places.
241
00:15:08,382 --> 00:15:10,050
We would have our little track,
242
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:11,301
and hit our little track,
243
00:15:11,552 --> 00:15:14,430
and it would come on,
and I would perform!
244
00:15:14,722 --> 00:15:17,099
♪ [musical track comes up] ♪
245
00:15:17,516 --> 00:15:19,852
♪ Ohhh... Lemme tell you now... ♪
246
00:15:20,102 --> 00:15:24,523
♪ There’s a place
there’s a place to go ♪
247
00:15:24,773 --> 00:15:28,694
♪ There’s a place
there’s a place I know ♪
248
00:15:29,528 --> 00:15:34,283
She was about to have a show,
down in the East Village.
249
00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:39,747
At the Boy's Bar
on St. Mark's Place.
250
00:15:39,997 --> 00:15:42,666
And I was her dancer in the show
251
00:15:42,916 --> 00:15:45,044
and she sang the song
from Porgy and Bess,
252
00:15:45,294 --> 00:15:47,963
♪ "Summertime,
when the living is easy..." ♪
253
00:15:48,213 --> 00:15:52,051
She sang a song called "Slave"
and I would be her slave
254
00:15:52,301 --> 00:15:54,178
and I'm telling you
she was rough!
255
00:15:54,428 --> 00:15:57,222
One time she threw me
around with my handcuffs,
256
00:15:57,473 --> 00:16:00,267
and I think I kicked
all the drinks off the stage.
257
00:16:00,517 --> 00:16:04,271
So we were wild! We were
quite wild in those days.
258
00:16:04,980 --> 00:16:07,107
One day Bill calls me
and he says:
259
00:16:07,357 --> 00:16:09,068
"I need you to come
put a vocal down."
260
00:16:09,318 --> 00:16:11,487
"No, I can't put a vocal down!
261
00:16:11,737 --> 00:16:14,531
I'm working, and I'm tired,
and I've been working now
262
00:16:14,782 --> 00:16:16,450
for about 18 hours straight."
263
00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:19,620
He says, "Just come and listen!"
So I go over to his house,
264
00:16:19,870 --> 00:16:22,539
it has to be at least
4 o'clock in the morning.
265
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:27,961
I was very tired, I wanted
to do it in one take and...
266
00:16:28,545 --> 00:16:29,546
It just worked.
267
00:16:29,797 --> 00:16:33,133
What a lot of people
don't realize is that Quiana
268
00:16:33,383 --> 00:16:36,678
was very responsible for
constructing all of those songs.
269
00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:39,264
Because again, when William
270
00:16:39,556 --> 00:16:41,767
would come up with a song,
he'd be like:
271
00:16:42,017 --> 00:16:43,602
"Oh this is it!"
272
00:16:43,852 --> 00:16:45,521
And it was like: "He told me,
273
00:16:45,771 --> 00:16:47,606
I've seen it rise,
it always falls."
274
00:16:47,856 --> 00:16:49,608
And she would do the...
275
00:16:49,858 --> 00:16:53,612
♪ "He told me,
I've seen it rise." ♪
276
00:16:54,029 --> 00:16:55,614
And one of the most
important things:
277
00:16:55,864 --> 00:16:57,616
We were fooling around
with my Casio,
278
00:16:57,866 --> 00:16:59,076
and she says:
"Oh I love that sound!"
279
00:16:59,326 --> 00:17:00,869
and I believe
they called it "sci-fi,"
280
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,996
and she took it
and she worked it
281
00:17:03,247 --> 00:17:05,707
and all of a sudden
we had a track
282
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:08,836
with that same sci-fi sound
that she created
283
00:17:09,086 --> 00:17:14,842
because I remember her playing
with it, that ♪ Na na, na na...♪
284
00:17:15,175 --> 00:17:17,845
♪ [Electronic music comes up] ♪
285
00:17:22,599 --> 00:17:24,643
♪ He told me, ♪
286
00:17:25,227 --> 00:17:28,063
♪ "I've seen it rise. ♪
287
00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:32,109
♪But it always... ♪
288
00:17:33,068 --> 00:17:34,570
♪ falls. ♪
289
00:17:37,781 --> 00:17:42,995
I've seen him come,
I've seen him go."
290
00:17:43,871 --> 00:17:51,003
He said,"All things pass
into the night."
291
00:17:52,129 --> 00:17:56,133
So we met at an apartment
in the East Village and
292
00:17:56,383 --> 00:17:59,261
Q took me for
a ride in the taxi,
293
00:17:59,511 --> 00:18:02,347
and we talked about
what kind of images we wanted,
294
00:18:02,598 --> 00:18:04,766
what kind of music video
we were gonna do.
295
00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:08,604
I had my little nephew there,
and my sister was there.
296
00:18:08,854 --> 00:18:13,025
Q brought in her friend Dan
to do some of the dancing.
297
00:18:13,317 --> 00:18:17,696
And in the actual production
it was Q and myself,
298
00:18:17,946 --> 00:18:21,158
and the people
that I brought to help out,
299
00:18:21,408 --> 00:18:23,994
and the people that
Q brought to be in it.
300
00:18:24,244 --> 00:18:28,248
There was no company involved,
no producers, no directors,
301
00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:30,292
no money, no nothing.
302
00:18:30,542 --> 00:18:33,795
The only money that was spent
was money that we got together
303
00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:36,423
to buy the tape to record it on.
304
00:18:36,673 --> 00:18:38,300
And no record has been made.
305
00:18:38,550 --> 00:18:39,509
Which blows me away.
306
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:42,262
I still don't understand how
that could have been the case.
307
00:18:42,512 --> 00:18:44,348
I mean if Jonathan Demme can
get in the taxi
308
00:18:44,598 --> 00:18:45,933
and say, "Oh my God!"
309
00:18:46,183 --> 00:18:51,104
and he puts it in two of his
movies, that's a powerful song!
310
00:18:54,316 --> 00:18:59,321
I picked up Jonathan Demme
around the 50s or the 40s
311
00:18:59,905 --> 00:19:03,200
on the West Side,
and we were going uptown.
312
00:19:04,159 --> 00:19:06,787
He got in the car,
him and another man,
313
00:19:07,204 --> 00:19:09,081
they were in deep conversation.
314
00:19:09,331 --> 00:19:11,500
But I wasn't paying attention
to the conversation
315
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:14,419
because I was working
on my music.
316
00:19:14,670 --> 00:19:17,339
I would sing a few lyrics,
you know...
317
00:19:17,673 --> 00:19:20,759
♪ [riffing] ♪
318
00:19:23,303 --> 00:19:24,596
Cause I wanted to hear it.
319
00:19:24,846 --> 00:19:27,557
So the car went quiet.
320
00:19:27,808 --> 00:19:30,352
And then I said, "I'm working
on a song, you guys."
321
00:19:30,602 --> 00:19:32,396
And Jonathan says,
"Go right on ahead,
322
00:19:32,646 --> 00:19:34,147
it sounds good, I like it."
323
00:19:34,398 --> 00:19:36,316
And when I dropped
him off he said,
324
00:19:36,566 --> 00:19:38,568
"My name is
Jonathan Demme and
325
00:19:38,819 --> 00:19:42,030
I'm a director
and here's my card."
326
00:19:42,447 --> 00:19:44,908
So I called his assistant up
and she said,
327
00:19:45,158 --> 00:19:47,577
"Send me your tape" and I did.
328
00:19:48,036 --> 00:19:50,080
Like six months later,
329
00:19:50,747 --> 00:19:52,082
she called me back and she said,
330
00:19:52,332 --> 00:19:56,336
"Jonathan wants to use
one of your songs
331
00:19:58,088 --> 00:20:00,966
that was on the tape
in the movie."
332
00:20:01,216 --> 00:20:03,051
And I was delighted.
333
00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:07,055
I was hoping
you'd show up tonight.
334
00:20:08,265 --> 00:20:11,518
- When'd you get out?
- I've been looking for you.
335
00:20:12,019 --> 00:20:16,565
Jonathan walked in and said,
"You gotta hear this, Eddy."
336
00:20:16,815 --> 00:20:21,278
And I'm sure popped
a cassette in at the time
337
00:20:21,528 --> 00:20:23,947
and it was "Goodbye Horses."
338
00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:27,993
And he told me that he'd
met Q when she was driving.
339
00:20:28,952 --> 00:20:31,163
I really liked that band.
340
00:20:31,496 --> 00:20:33,874
The music is kind of strange.
I like it.
341
00:20:35,542 --> 00:20:38,086
♪ [song comes up] ♪
342
00:20:38,337 --> 00:20:42,466
♪ He told me,
"I've seen it rise... ♪
343
00:20:42,799 --> 00:20:43,425
Cheers.
344
00:20:44,384 --> 00:20:45,385
Cheers.
345
00:20:45,635 --> 00:20:47,971
And he was giving me
work and it was good.
346
00:20:48,221 --> 00:20:50,682
And I was meeting people
in the film industry
347
00:20:50,932 --> 00:20:52,059
which was excellent.
348
00:20:52,309 --> 00:20:55,395
But as far as the rock industry
349
00:20:55,645 --> 00:20:58,190
in the United States,
in New York,
350
00:20:58,815 --> 00:21:03,195
they weren't ready for
a black rock and roll singer.
351
00:21:03,487 --> 00:21:06,114
Jonathan wanted
to really help her.
352
00:21:06,365 --> 00:21:09,659
She spent I think about
a good month and change in LA.
353
00:21:09,993 --> 00:21:13,246
She goes "I went to all these
places I met all these people,"
354
00:21:13,497 --> 00:21:17,459
and she said, "Every place
I went to they would say to me,
355
00:21:17,751 --> 00:21:20,003
"We like your music,
we like your sound Q,
356
00:21:20,253 --> 00:21:22,089
but we just can't market you."
357
00:21:23,256 --> 00:21:27,427
So I said to her,"I'm gonna
have to go somewhere else."
358
00:21:28,261 --> 00:21:29,429
Where? I don't know.
359
00:21:29,679 --> 00:21:31,098
Maybe France.
360
00:21:32,557 --> 00:21:33,850
Germany.
361
00:21:34,267 --> 00:21:40,065
I had a really good friend
named Danny Z and he says,
362
00:21:40,357 --> 00:21:42,109
"Come to London."
363
00:21:42,943 --> 00:21:45,695
[a gentle, repetitive
guitar riff plays]
364
00:21:49,783 --> 00:21:52,702
[voice of fortune teller]
365
00:23:24,169 --> 00:23:26,963
♪ [rock and roll comes up] ♪
366
00:23:27,547 --> 00:23:31,134
When I went to London,
I had saved enough money
367
00:23:31,384 --> 00:23:34,513
that I could live
about six or seven months
368
00:23:34,763 --> 00:23:39,434
with an apartment and food
without getting a job.
369
00:23:39,893 --> 00:23:43,063
And then I had to
develop my band.
370
00:23:43,313 --> 00:23:48,485
And I had so many influences
that were clawing at me because
371
00:23:48,777 --> 00:23:50,403
I was listening to AC/DC.
372
00:23:50,654 --> 00:23:52,155
I was listening to Motorhead.
373
00:23:52,405 --> 00:23:54,324
These people
I was listening to, going:
374
00:23:54,574 --> 00:23:57,786
"I really would like
a female version of this."
375
00:23:58,245 --> 00:24:01,081
At the same time,
I was listening to Janis...
376
00:24:01,623 --> 00:24:02,541
Aretha...
377
00:24:02,791 --> 00:24:03,750
Patti Labelle...
378
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,085
Dionne Warwick.
379
00:24:05,418 --> 00:24:09,172
And I was like, "Where am I?
Where do I stand?" You know.
380
00:24:09,422 --> 00:24:12,342
I know I'm gonna sing a rock and
roll song with black influence,
381
00:24:12,592 --> 00:24:14,177
I already know that...
382
00:24:14,427 --> 00:24:15,220
You know?
383
00:24:15,554 --> 00:24:19,224
And it's most likely gonna have
some gospel influence in there.
384
00:24:19,474 --> 00:24:23,895
So all this stuff was just like
molding together and so...
385
00:24:26,106 --> 00:24:28,149
Nobody understood it.
386
00:24:29,192 --> 00:24:33,405
I met Mark in Swiss Cottage,
that's where I was living.
387
00:24:33,655 --> 00:24:37,409
And he is my guitar player.
388
00:24:38,034 --> 00:24:41,454
One of the best guitar players
I have ever heard.
389
00:24:41,705 --> 00:24:43,498
We got to talking and I said,
390
00:24:43,748 --> 00:24:45,959
"Mark, I need to put
a band together
391
00:24:46,209 --> 00:24:48,628
and you're a guitar player,
I need some musicians."
392
00:24:48,878 --> 00:24:51,339
"My best friend
he's a bass player."
393
00:24:51,590 --> 00:24:53,592
His name was Jon Baby Bouillot.
394
00:24:53,842 --> 00:24:55,594
Fine, so fine.
395
00:24:56,261 --> 00:24:58,805
So fine! That was
a good-looking boy, okay?
396
00:24:59,055 --> 00:25:02,642
Then I found Shane, my drummer,
and he was the sweetest thing.
397
00:25:02,892 --> 00:25:03,935
Oh, Shane!
398
00:25:04,185 --> 00:25:06,646
I had really good people
in my band.
399
00:25:06,896 --> 00:25:08,398
From the first hour
that we started
400
00:25:08,648 --> 00:25:09,983
working together we all thought,
401
00:25:10,233 --> 00:25:12,902
"Oh we've got something great
here, this is something new."
402
00:25:13,153 --> 00:25:15,280
Both Mark and I
were more rock-orientated.
403
00:25:15,530 --> 00:25:19,242
Q was... I don't know if you
can even categorize her,
404
00:25:19,492 --> 00:25:22,579
but she had a soulful voice
with a rock edge. So it was...
405
00:25:22,829 --> 00:25:25,624
Also the look was something
different of the whole band.
406
00:25:25,874 --> 00:25:27,459
And there was a lot of work
to do in the band.
407
00:25:27,709 --> 00:25:30,086
We felt we had something here
408
00:25:30,337 --> 00:25:31,921
with Q and the songs
we were writing.
409
00:25:32,172 --> 00:25:34,090
Something was gonna happen.
It had to!
410
00:25:34,424 --> 00:25:36,426
Cause how could you
ignore this person?
411
00:25:36,676 --> 00:25:41,222
When she came at ya singing with
her big eyes and her big voice.
412
00:25:41,473 --> 00:25:43,975
We just had to find
a song, the song.
413
00:25:44,225 --> 00:25:47,062
It was rock and roll.
414
00:25:47,312 --> 00:25:50,357
And it had a guitar,
415
00:25:50,732 --> 00:25:53,526
a bass, a drummer,
416
00:25:53,902 --> 00:25:56,571
and a hard vocalist.
417
00:25:56,863 --> 00:26:00,825
♪ You took away my heart,
you took away my soul. ♪
418
00:26:01,076 --> 00:26:05,163
♪ You took away my joy
and you hurt me so bad. ♪
419
00:26:05,413 --> 00:26:09,542
♪ Babe you took away my love,
you took away my soul. ♪
420
00:26:09,793 --> 00:26:12,462
♪ You turn it around,
you turn it around me ♪
421
00:26:12,712 --> 00:26:18,551
♪ twice and find
that I love you. ♪
422
00:26:19,094 --> 00:26:21,012
Q is one of a kind.
423
00:26:21,262 --> 00:26:25,100
And I remember walking through
Camden Market with her,
424
00:26:25,350 --> 00:26:27,143
this big, beautiful woman.
425
00:26:27,394 --> 00:26:29,938
And everybody would look at Q,
426
00:26:30,188 --> 00:26:31,898
not because of her size,
427
00:26:32,148 --> 00:26:33,483
but her magic.
428
00:26:33,858 --> 00:26:37,529
I was absolutely gobsmacked
when I saw her.
429
00:26:37,779 --> 00:26:40,281
She was this force of life.
430
00:26:40,532 --> 00:26:43,785
I've never seen a presence
on stage like it before.
431
00:26:44,077 --> 00:26:48,123
And she just...Her voice
just carried absolute power.
432
00:26:48,456 --> 00:26:50,291
Are you ready?
433
00:26:51,835 --> 00:26:54,087
I don't believe you!
Are you ready?
434
00:26:54,963 --> 00:26:58,174
Oh my god, let me hear it again!
435
00:26:58,925 --> 00:27:01,636
Let's go!
♪ [Electric guitar comes up] ♪
436
00:27:01,886 --> 00:27:05,598
♪ [Q riffing powerfully] ♪
437
00:27:08,101 --> 00:27:10,979
♪ [full band comes up] ♪
438
00:27:12,188 --> 00:27:14,357
♪ Did you ever wake up
in the morning, ♪
439
00:27:14,607 --> 00:27:16,526
♪ your soul was old? ♪
440
00:27:17,861 --> 00:27:21,281
♪ What did you do,
what did you do? ♪
441
00:27:23,616 --> 00:27:27,078
♪ Did you ever hold
my hand in the park? ♪
442
00:27:28,997 --> 00:27:32,083
♪ What did you do,
what did you do? ♪
443
00:27:32,375 --> 00:27:35,795
This was what would then
have been called "heavy metal".
444
00:27:36,045 --> 00:27:38,006
That's what we were playing.
445
00:27:38,757 --> 00:27:40,049
And...
446
00:27:41,217 --> 00:27:44,012
"Goodbye Horses"
was not heavy metal.
447
00:27:44,262 --> 00:27:46,806
I heard "Goodbye Horses"
and basically
448
00:27:47,056 --> 00:27:49,350
we started playing it
right at the start.
449
00:27:49,601 --> 00:27:51,186
And then when the film came out,
450
00:27:51,436 --> 00:27:53,271
we recorded the "B" side for it.
451
00:27:53,521 --> 00:27:58,943
You know, it's really unusual
to put a song into a film
452
00:27:59,194 --> 00:28:01,070
and then the very
next film you direct,
453
00:28:01,321 --> 00:28:03,865
you feature that song
even more prominently!
454
00:28:04,115 --> 00:28:06,242
Like that just doesn't happen
much if you watch movies.
455
00:28:06,493 --> 00:28:08,411
Right? That a filmmaker
will do that.
456
00:28:08,661 --> 00:28:12,791
But for Jame Gumb's dance,
457
00:28:13,291 --> 00:28:15,543
there was nothing better.
458
00:28:16,127 --> 00:28:19,589
♪ Goodbye horses, ♪
459
00:28:20,590 --> 00:28:23,426
♪ I'm flying over you. ♪
460
00:28:24,052 --> 00:28:26,429
[crying]
461
00:28:30,225 --> 00:28:31,184
[barking]
462
00:28:31,434 --> 00:28:34,646
♪ Goodbye horses, ♪
463
00:28:35,897 --> 00:28:37,649
♪ I'm flying, flying...♪
464
00:28:37,899 --> 00:28:39,692
We started to gig it more as
465
00:28:39,943 --> 00:28:42,153
people had seen
more of the film.
466
00:28:42,904 --> 00:28:47,575
Also with the advent of this
dance-indie crossover thing,
467
00:28:48,910 --> 00:28:52,705
the songs became,
the heavy metal songs
468
00:28:52,956 --> 00:28:55,083
were swapped out for some
newer songs that sort of
469
00:28:55,333 --> 00:28:57,293
went with "Goodbye Horses."
470
00:28:57,544 --> 00:28:59,128
♪ Bang bang, ♪
471
00:29:00,380 --> 00:29:02,924
♪ Give me your bang bang. ♪
472
00:29:05,134 --> 00:29:07,053
♪ Bang bang, ♪
473
00:29:08,096 --> 00:29:10,139
♪ give me your thing. ♪
474
00:29:12,851 --> 00:29:16,062
♪ Do you really think
I'm gonna let you go? ♪
475
00:29:16,312 --> 00:29:19,399
♪ When I close my eyes
you really steal the show. ♪
476
00:29:19,649 --> 00:29:22,110
Now here we are in the club
area and on my left-hand side
477
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,612
I have our resident Dome
Svengali, Q Lazzarus.
478
00:29:24,863 --> 00:29:26,614
Who incidentally not
only fronts her own band,
479
00:29:26,865 --> 00:29:28,616
but has also contributed
to the soundtrack of that
480
00:29:28,867 --> 00:29:30,535
much-acclaimed movie
Silence of the Lambs.
481
00:29:30,785 --> 00:29:32,745
There has been difficulty with
black artists in terms of
482
00:29:32,996 --> 00:29:33,913
making money in the States.
483
00:29:34,163 --> 00:29:34,956
Would that be
one of the reasons
484
00:29:35,206 --> 00:29:36,207
why you have come
over to London?
485
00:29:36,457 --> 00:29:38,167
Yes, to answer your question.
486
00:29:38,418 --> 00:29:40,420
That is one of the reasons why
I came over to Britain
487
00:29:40,670 --> 00:29:42,130
cause I wanted to find
my own sound,
488
00:29:42,380 --> 00:29:44,966
and I didn't want anyone
to hinder me from being,
489
00:29:45,216 --> 00:29:48,887
from me actually expressing
what I'm all about.
490
00:29:49,304 --> 00:29:50,889
And once again,
491
00:29:51,973 --> 00:29:54,100
not as bad as New York but
492
00:29:54,350 --> 00:29:57,145
we came up against some blocks.
493
00:29:57,395 --> 00:30:01,357
I used to accompany her going
to all the record companies
494
00:30:01,608 --> 00:30:05,695
and she'd be giving out
her tapes and stuff.
495
00:30:06,154 --> 00:30:10,992
We'd often talk whilst we were
doing this about the rejection,
496
00:30:11,242 --> 00:30:13,202
because they couldn't
quite place her.
497
00:30:13,453 --> 00:30:16,748
You know, there she is this
woman, amazing voice...
498
00:30:16,998 --> 00:30:18,291
Amazing voice.
499
00:30:18,541 --> 00:30:20,126
Amazing presence.
500
00:30:20,376 --> 00:30:21,836
And because
she sang rock music
501
00:30:22,086 --> 00:30:23,922
and all this stuff
in those days.
502
00:30:24,172 --> 00:30:26,591
It didn't fit into any boxes.
503
00:30:26,841 --> 00:30:29,135
It couldn't be
pigeon-holed anywhere.
504
00:30:29,385 --> 00:30:32,096
It was a big black woman
and a rock band.
505
00:30:32,347 --> 00:30:34,933
There wasn't
any precedent for it.
506
00:30:35,183 --> 00:30:36,684
Which is what we liked.
507
00:30:37,018 --> 00:30:39,270
But the notoriously conservative
508
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:41,272
record companies
weren't into it.
509
00:30:41,522 --> 00:30:45,568
They all lacked imagination.
They all lacked the ability to...
510
00:30:45,818 --> 00:30:48,613
They wanted something
that fit into their vision
511
00:30:48,863 --> 00:30:52,367
of what music was about
and not what was possible.
512
00:30:52,617 --> 00:30:54,410
We kept plugging at it.
513
00:30:54,661 --> 00:30:56,245
We kept plugging at it.
514
00:30:56,496 --> 00:31:01,250
In the meantime, a lot of
other things were happening
515
00:31:01,751 --> 00:31:04,921
that changed Q Lazzarus,
516
00:31:05,171 --> 00:31:08,341
or put her on a different path.
517
00:31:09,509 --> 00:31:12,345
So the love of my life
in London,
518
00:31:12,595 --> 00:31:13,596
Richard.
519
00:31:13,846 --> 00:31:17,517
Richard and I met
at the Hippodrome.
520
00:31:17,892 --> 00:31:21,270
He was already promoting,
so he had some business.
521
00:31:21,604 --> 00:31:25,024
He said, "Just stay right here,
don't go nowhere now.
522
00:31:25,274 --> 00:31:26,818
Just stay right here."
523
00:31:27,068 --> 00:31:30,738
I said, "I'm not going anywhere,
cause I don't know nobody,
524
00:31:30,989 --> 00:31:31,864
[laughter]
525
00:31:32,115 --> 00:31:33,116
I don't have no friends here,
526
00:31:33,366 --> 00:31:36,077
I'm just coming to check out the
rock night and what's going on.
527
00:31:36,327 --> 00:31:37,954
So I'm not going anywhere."
528
00:31:38,204 --> 00:31:40,123
And that's how we met.
529
00:31:40,873 --> 00:31:43,501
Every now and then,
we would go out from London
530
00:31:43,751 --> 00:31:46,421
to some small town
and do a show,
531
00:31:46,671 --> 00:31:48,214
just to break in
some new material
532
00:31:48,464 --> 00:31:50,258
and see the reaction
of the audience.
533
00:31:50,508 --> 00:31:51,759
And he would be there.
534
00:31:52,010 --> 00:31:53,594
He would be there
every step of the way.
535
00:31:53,845 --> 00:31:56,305
And at one point,
he was my manager.
536
00:31:57,348 --> 00:31:59,767
But that wasn't a good idea.
537
00:32:00,476 --> 00:32:02,270
♪ Why...♪
538
00:32:02,812 --> 00:32:05,356
♪ Did you tell a lie? ♪
539
00:32:07,525 --> 00:32:12,405
♪ Did you really think
I'd lay down and die? ♪
540
00:32:13,531 --> 00:32:17,827
♪ Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no,no ♪
541
00:32:19,162 --> 00:32:22,874
♪ I really want you to know. ♪
542
00:32:23,833 --> 00:32:25,710
♪ [song fades out] ♪
543
00:32:26,419 --> 00:32:28,337
Richard and her
got on really well.
544
00:32:28,588 --> 00:32:30,673
They'd really support
each other.
545
00:32:30,923 --> 00:32:33,468
But I don't really want
to make more comment than that
546
00:32:33,718 --> 00:32:36,637
because I was also there
for the darker times as well.
547
00:32:36,888 --> 00:32:40,308
I think that
he was a bad influence.
548
00:32:40,558 --> 00:32:43,978
And I don't like
talking down anybody,
549
00:32:44,228 --> 00:32:46,856
but I can remember
at the time I had a bad feeling,
550
00:32:47,106 --> 00:32:50,026
and to this day that feeling
has never left me.
551
00:32:50,318 --> 00:32:55,823
When Q and Richard got together
and she started promoting clubs,
552
00:32:56,074 --> 00:33:01,329
I suppose with hindsight I can
notice a lack of attendance
553
00:33:01,579 --> 00:33:05,792
at rehearsals increasing,
a bit more unreliability.
554
00:33:06,042 --> 00:33:08,753
So that possibly
tied in with the drugs.
555
00:33:09,045 --> 00:33:11,047
When I was in New York,
556
00:33:11,589 --> 00:33:13,132
I didn't do drugs.
557
00:33:13,382 --> 00:33:16,302
And I very rarely had a drink.
558
00:33:16,969 --> 00:33:19,680
Just, I wasn't interested.
559
00:33:20,556 --> 00:33:22,725
But he was into drugs,
560
00:33:22,975 --> 00:33:28,523
and I think that him doing drugs
and alcohol all the time...
561
00:33:29,690 --> 00:33:33,069
I wanted to be with him,
so that's what I did.
562
00:33:33,402 --> 00:33:37,240
So yes, we had
rock nights in London.
563
00:33:37,490 --> 00:33:41,994
I think we had every single night
except maybe Monday.
564
00:33:43,287 --> 00:33:45,248
You're at
the Hippodrome rock night,
565
00:33:45,498 --> 00:33:47,375
with a capacity of 2,000 people.
566
00:33:47,625 --> 00:33:49,460
Each one of these bands
that you're about to see
567
00:33:49,710 --> 00:33:50,711
has played here.
568
00:33:50,962 --> 00:33:53,464
And what are we doing about it?
You're about to see.
569
00:33:53,798 --> 00:33:55,007
Ladies and gentlemen,
570
00:33:55,258 --> 00:33:58,261
you're about to get
the hell kicked out of you!
571
00:34:01,848 --> 00:34:03,141
Can you talk a bit about
572
00:34:03,391 --> 00:34:05,643
some of the venues
that your band was playing at?
573
00:34:05,893 --> 00:34:06,978
All of them.
574
00:34:09,689 --> 00:34:11,983
We promoted it, we played.
575
00:34:12,316 --> 00:34:14,110
[laughter]
576
00:34:14,610 --> 00:34:18,197
You know? Why wouldn't I
put myself on my own stage?
577
00:34:20,533 --> 00:34:21,909
It was good.
578
00:34:22,702 --> 00:34:25,204
London was very good to me.
579
00:34:27,039 --> 00:34:29,625
♪ Oh heaven...♪
580
00:34:31,335 --> 00:34:33,171
♪ is a place...♪
581
00:34:33,504 --> 00:34:37,758
Meet Q Lazzarus.
That's right, Q Lazzarus.
582
00:34:38,301 --> 00:34:43,639
♪ Where nothing can go wrong...♪
583
00:34:44,140 --> 00:34:47,268
Q comes from Quiana
which means thank you.
584
00:34:47,518 --> 00:34:52,607
And Lazzarus comes from
Lazarus in the Bible,
585
00:34:52,857 --> 00:34:54,192
the guy who rose from the dead.
586
00:34:54,442 --> 00:34:56,986
Lazzarus sings a heartwarming
song called "Heaven"
587
00:34:57,236 --> 00:35:00,323
during a party scene
in the movie Philadelphia.
588
00:35:01,115 --> 00:35:03,367
The thing with Philadelphia was
589
00:35:03,618 --> 00:35:05,912
one of his assistants
called me up and said:
590
00:35:06,204 --> 00:35:08,664
"We're almost
at the end of a movie
591
00:35:08,915 --> 00:35:11,500
that Jonathan is directing and
592
00:35:13,085 --> 00:35:15,087
he wants you to be
in the movie."
593
00:35:15,338 --> 00:35:16,672
And I said: "Well what song?"
594
00:35:16,923 --> 00:35:19,508
And he said
"Heaven by David Byrne."
595
00:35:19,759 --> 00:35:24,263
I can only imagine for Q,
the idea of showing up
596
00:35:24,513 --> 00:35:27,016
and being with a full film crew,
597
00:35:27,266 --> 00:35:29,727
Tom Hanks, Denzel Washington,
Antonio Banderas...
598
00:35:29,977 --> 00:35:33,231
And you've gotta perform
in that setting,
599
00:35:33,481 --> 00:35:35,650
and it's going to be
memorialized forever?
600
00:35:35,900 --> 00:35:37,526
I would have been terrified.
601
00:35:37,777 --> 00:35:39,487
But she kills it.
602
00:35:39,737 --> 00:35:43,074
♪ It is hard to imagine ♪
603
00:35:44,992 --> 00:35:50,790
♪ that nothing at all,
Could be so exciting, ♪
604
00:35:51,123 --> 00:35:54,043
♪ could be so exciting, ♪
605
00:35:55,503 --> 00:35:57,797
♪ and so much fun. ♪
606
00:35:58,798 --> 00:36:02,176
When we came back from London...
607
00:36:03,970 --> 00:36:05,221
to...
608
00:36:07,139 --> 00:36:09,267
film for Philadelphia,
609
00:36:09,517 --> 00:36:13,604
Richard and I set up
home in Philly
610
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:18,276
because it was close to
where they were filming,
611
00:36:18,526 --> 00:36:23,114
and also because I wanted
to test the waters again
612
00:36:23,364 --> 00:36:26,701
because times was changing,
you know?
613
00:36:26,951 --> 00:36:32,498
So maybe there was a chance
of something happening here.
614
00:36:33,749 --> 00:36:37,962
Yes! Happy Unity Day 1994,
the Ben Franklin Parkway
615
00:36:38,212 --> 00:36:42,049
Now we have a woman that flew
all the way in from England,
616
00:36:42,300 --> 00:36:45,386
she has been on Orion Pictures'
Silence of the Lambs.
617
00:36:45,636 --> 00:36:48,389
Give a warm welcome
for Q Lazzarus!
618
00:36:48,973 --> 00:36:51,892
How ya doing out there, Philly!
619
00:36:52,893 --> 00:36:55,396
We're gonna do a couple of songs
for you tonight,
620
00:36:55,646 --> 00:36:57,356
so if you feel like dancing,
621
00:36:57,606 --> 00:37:02,111
just shake your leg, and come on
up here, and make me feel good!
622
00:37:02,361 --> 00:37:03,404
♪ [Band comes up] ♪
623
00:37:03,654 --> 00:37:07,783
♪ The time... ♪
624
00:37:08,659 --> 00:37:10,411
♪ The time is right... ♪
625
00:37:10,703 --> 00:37:14,457
This is a song
that Dan and I recorded.
626
00:37:14,707 --> 00:37:18,544
Dan being the writer,
the arranger,
627
00:37:18,794 --> 00:37:22,214
me being the producer
628
00:37:23,341 --> 00:37:26,010
and the vocal artist.
629
00:37:29,722 --> 00:37:32,350
♪ [song continues] ♪
630
00:37:35,061 --> 00:37:37,021
Dan is my best friend.
631
00:37:37,271 --> 00:37:38,689
He was always my best friend.
632
00:37:38,939 --> 00:37:42,234
He's not only my best friend,
he was my brother.
633
00:37:42,485 --> 00:37:44,111
Whatever I need.
634
00:37:44,820 --> 00:37:47,365
So one night
she took out the keyboard
635
00:37:47,615 --> 00:37:49,575
and I had the lyrics
636
00:37:49,825 --> 00:37:53,329
and we sat down and we wrote
a song called "The Boy".
637
00:37:53,579 --> 00:37:56,957
It didn't stop there. That's how
"I Need to Know" came about,
638
00:37:57,208 --> 00:38:00,252
"Your Love is My Mistake",
"Limboland"...
639
00:38:01,003 --> 00:38:02,546
A lot of songs.
640
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,841
♪ [music playing in background] ♪
This is wonderful!
641
00:38:06,133 --> 00:38:07,843
Man, we were young!
642
00:38:08,219 --> 00:38:10,096
♪ [Q singing vocals on the song] ♪
643
00:38:10,346 --> 00:38:12,098
Yeah, that's me.
644
00:38:12,473 --> 00:38:15,935
♪ [music continues] ♪
645
00:38:20,981 --> 00:38:23,359
We were kids, man,
we were not fucking around!
646
00:38:23,609 --> 00:38:27,279
We were not fucking around!
You hear what I'm saying?
647
00:38:28,072 --> 00:38:29,740
We weren't playing!
648
00:38:30,491 --> 00:38:33,244
♪ When you get the feeling ♪
649
00:38:33,494 --> 00:38:35,996
♪ something’s about to burst. ♪
650
00:38:36,247 --> 00:38:37,456
♪ Hey...♪
651
00:38:37,706 --> 00:38:40,960
♪ And it gets extremely hard ♪
652
00:38:41,210 --> 00:38:43,129
♪ to quench your loving thirst. ♪
653
00:38:43,379 --> 00:38:45,714
People have said to me,
654
00:38:45,965 --> 00:38:50,177
"We do not understand
why you and Dan is not famous."
655
00:38:50,428 --> 00:38:52,471
I got that so much.
656
00:38:52,721 --> 00:38:57,184
They took two people,
me and my best friend...
657
00:38:58,644 --> 00:39:01,897
Two very, very talented people.
658
00:39:02,523 --> 00:39:04,817
Not very educated,
just talent!
659
00:39:05,067 --> 00:39:05,943
Raw...
660
00:39:07,111 --> 00:39:08,195
Talent!
661
00:39:10,156 --> 00:39:12,825
And they would not even
try to help us,
662
00:39:13,075 --> 00:39:15,953
to try to give us...
663
00:39:16,829 --> 00:39:17,371
a chance.
664
00:39:17,621 --> 00:39:19,790
Only one person did that
and he did it
665
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:22,376
over year after year after year!
666
00:39:22,626 --> 00:39:24,336
And that was Jonathan.
667
00:39:25,921 --> 00:39:28,591
And I had to accept it,
668
00:39:28,841 --> 00:39:33,846
and how I accept it
was to bury it in drugs.
669
00:39:34,388 --> 00:39:35,723
Alcohol.
670
00:39:35,973 --> 00:39:37,391
Fun nights.
671
00:39:41,061 --> 00:39:42,938
Because I knew I wasn't
gonna have my dream,
672
00:39:43,189 --> 00:39:44,607
because nobody would listen.
673
00:39:44,857 --> 00:39:46,859
And I didn't know
how to make them listen.
674
00:39:47,109 --> 00:39:50,613
I don't care how much
good music I put out there.
675
00:39:50,863 --> 00:39:52,907
They were not listening.
676
00:40:01,916 --> 00:40:03,459
[Beeping]
677
00:40:39,203 --> 00:40:41,163
[voice mail ends]
678
00:40:42,081 --> 00:40:49,004
So Richard, who you know
was my partner at the time,
679
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:52,758
decided, "Okay, we'll stay here
for like 6 months
680
00:40:53,008 --> 00:40:54,510
and see how it goes."
681
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:59,056
But as the time was going on,
we were growing apart.
682
00:40:59,306 --> 00:41:03,143
And one of the reasons was
because he was missing home,
683
00:41:03,435 --> 00:41:05,813
and he just didn't like Philly.
684
00:41:06,564 --> 00:41:08,315
So something happened,
685
00:41:08,816 --> 00:41:10,859
that's what he said,
686
00:41:11,777 --> 00:41:13,112
that...
687
00:41:14,863 --> 00:41:18,784
He needed to go home
because there was an emergency
688
00:41:19,159 --> 00:41:21,537
with his mom at the time.
689
00:41:21,912 --> 00:41:26,333
So of course, I said,
"No problem," and
690
00:41:27,167 --> 00:41:28,669
to make a long story short,
691
00:41:28,919 --> 00:41:31,672
he got his plane ticket and
692
00:41:32,715 --> 00:41:33,966
he left...
693
00:41:34,758 --> 00:41:37,011
And I've never seen him since.
694
00:41:37,970 --> 00:41:44,727
♪ Baby, I need to know. ♪
695
00:41:47,521 --> 00:41:51,859
♪ If you can hold me, ♪
696
00:41:53,277 --> 00:41:56,614
♪ don't let go. ♪
697
00:41:58,907 --> 00:42:02,328
♪ Don't you let me go. ♪
698
00:42:03,037 --> 00:42:07,333
I went into a
very deep depression.
699
00:42:08,417 --> 00:42:09,710
And...
700
00:42:16,133 --> 00:42:21,472
Music wasn't the first thing
on my mind
701
00:42:21,722 --> 00:42:24,183
when I woke up in the morning.
702
00:42:24,475 --> 00:42:26,894
It was Richard,
the relationship.
703
00:42:27,144 --> 00:42:29,271
What happened? What did I do?
704
00:42:29,605 --> 00:42:33,609
I wasn't good enough,
I didn't make it fast enough.
705
00:42:33,901 --> 00:42:37,613
We went to Washington D.C.
to perform for the opening
706
00:42:37,863 --> 00:42:40,866
and when they gave out
the soundtrack,
707
00:42:41,116 --> 00:42:43,577
Q realized that she was not on.
708
00:42:43,827 --> 00:42:46,789
And that was a devastating blow.
709
00:42:47,039 --> 00:42:50,918
And Richard was not in New York,
he already was back in London.
710
00:42:51,168 --> 00:42:54,963
But he was meant to come back,
but he never came back.
711
00:42:55,214 --> 00:42:58,717
So between the soundtrack and
Richard not coming back,
712
00:42:58,967 --> 00:43:01,595
something happened with her.
713
00:43:01,845 --> 00:43:05,432
I didn't really tell anyone
714
00:43:06,934 --> 00:43:10,270
that Richard is not coming back.
715
00:43:11,897 --> 00:43:16,276
But they seen
a drastic change in me.
716
00:43:16,902 --> 00:43:21,657
When you look back on
when I started to use drugs,
717
00:43:21,949 --> 00:43:23,659
it was in London.
718
00:43:23,909 --> 00:43:27,371
It went from once
every now and then,
719
00:43:27,621 --> 00:43:31,625
to every day use,
but still functioning.
720
00:43:32,209 --> 00:43:36,630
To when he left,
completely out of control.
721
00:43:36,964 --> 00:43:40,342
So when I say "out of control,"
722
00:43:40,592 --> 00:43:44,972
I mean nothing else matter
723
00:43:45,222 --> 00:43:50,102
except isolating the pain
that you're going through.
724
00:43:51,019 --> 00:43:53,605
When you used this drug crack,
725
00:43:53,856 --> 00:43:57,443
you became addicted immediately.
726
00:43:57,943 --> 00:44:00,070
I lost everything.
727
00:44:02,573 --> 00:44:04,533
My apartment...
728
00:44:07,536 --> 00:44:08,954
Oh god...
729
00:44:09,538 --> 00:44:10,873
Everything.
730
00:44:11,290 --> 00:44:14,293
And I came to New York and
731
00:44:14,543 --> 00:44:19,256
I went to the East Village
to a girlfriend's house.
732
00:44:19,673 --> 00:44:21,425
And then her mother died.
733
00:44:22,134 --> 00:44:23,969
So I said, "I'm gonna go
734
00:44:24,219 --> 00:44:26,054
and I'm gonna stay
at your mom's house
735
00:44:26,305 --> 00:44:28,724
and I'm gonna pack things up."
736
00:44:28,974 --> 00:44:31,143
And I started living there.
737
00:44:31,393 --> 00:44:32,770
Then I heard nothing.
738
00:44:33,020 --> 00:44:34,104
She was gone.
739
00:44:34,521 --> 00:44:37,775
When Q disappeared,
it was a big loss to everybody.
740
00:44:38,025 --> 00:44:41,069
You know not just personally but
the music scene and everything.
741
00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:44,031
All of a sudden she was gone and
742
00:44:44,490 --> 00:44:47,201
I think that was also
kind of a Q trait.
743
00:44:47,451 --> 00:44:52,039
She just had that tendency
to come and go.
744
00:44:52,372 --> 00:44:54,041
You don't know
how she got there
745
00:44:54,291 --> 00:44:56,293
and you don't know
how she got away.
746
00:45:02,174 --> 00:45:04,968
Now imagine y'all,
this is a school.
747
00:45:05,260 --> 00:45:08,931
It was a school then
and it's a school now, okay?
748
00:45:09,181 --> 00:45:12,142
Now, down here...
749
00:45:12,518 --> 00:45:16,396
I want to show you where
they used to do their drops.
750
00:45:17,439 --> 00:45:20,692
They would drop
the drop in that hole,
751
00:45:20,943 --> 00:45:24,780
and then the dealer would
come and pick it up.
752
00:45:25,572 --> 00:45:28,242
And I caught it one day.
753
00:45:29,326 --> 00:45:31,620
I moved it. Hoomp!
754
00:45:31,870 --> 00:45:34,414
Right? And I'm walking back
the other way. Right?
755
00:45:34,665 --> 00:45:35,999
I walk back the other way.
756
00:45:36,291 --> 00:45:38,836
But he caught it.
757
00:45:39,253 --> 00:45:42,422
He caught it cause he knew that
the dealer was
758
00:45:42,756 --> 00:45:44,091
down by the corner.
759
00:45:44,341 --> 00:45:48,387
And it's not there, and I was
the only one who went past him.
760
00:45:48,679 --> 00:45:51,181
And he knew what I looked like.
761
00:45:51,431 --> 00:45:54,184
He knew I was part of
the neighborhood.
762
00:45:54,685 --> 00:45:56,687
And I realized this is serious.
763
00:45:56,937 --> 00:46:00,816
This is not taking
5 or 6 bundles of crack.
764
00:46:01,316 --> 00:46:02,776
No...
765
00:46:03,193 --> 00:46:05,445
This is like a half a key here.
766
00:46:06,154 --> 00:46:07,906
A few days later,
767
00:46:10,492 --> 00:46:12,578
I'm in the apartment.
768
00:46:13,203 --> 00:46:18,876
I'm being very quiet because
I'm using and I'm paranoid.
769
00:46:19,209 --> 00:46:21,295
I got all my lights off.
770
00:46:21,545 --> 00:46:23,213
I don't even have
no music playing.
771
00:46:23,463 --> 00:46:25,591
I'm just hitting my pipe.
772
00:46:25,841 --> 00:46:29,511
But there was somebody
in front of my door,
773
00:46:29,761 --> 00:46:32,139
I could see their feet.
774
00:46:32,681 --> 00:46:35,601
And not only were they
at my door.
775
00:46:36,351 --> 00:46:38,020
They weren't leaving.
776
00:46:38,270 --> 00:46:41,899
Girl, let me tell you
what I did!
777
00:46:43,901 --> 00:46:45,611
I got on the phone.
778
00:46:46,820 --> 00:46:48,530
I called the police.
779
00:46:49,740 --> 00:46:51,533
I told the police:
780
00:46:52,367 --> 00:46:54,494
"There's shooting
in the building."
781
00:46:55,746 --> 00:46:57,247
The police came...
782
00:46:57,539 --> 00:47:01,835
They clocked that one of those,
it was 3 of them, had guns!
783
00:47:02,544 --> 00:47:04,838
[boom, boom, boom...]
784
00:47:06,673 --> 00:47:07,966
Jesus!
785
00:47:08,550 --> 00:47:13,263
I came out of the apartment
786
00:47:14,056 --> 00:47:16,642
after things had settled down
and I realized:
787
00:47:16,892 --> 00:47:19,019
"Oh they got
these motherfuckers."
788
00:47:19,269 --> 00:47:22,064
Just as I was, like a neighbor.
789
00:47:22,314 --> 00:47:25,108
"What happened?
What's going on?
790
00:47:25,359 --> 00:47:29,696
I don't want to stay here,
I'm scared!"
791
00:47:30,781 --> 00:47:33,700
And I went through
all this big dramatic...
792
00:47:33,951 --> 00:47:37,245
I would have got an Oscar,
honey child!
793
00:47:37,537 --> 00:47:40,248
I went through the whole thing,
going down the steps saying,
794
00:47:40,499 --> 00:47:44,127
"Oh my Lord! All these bullets,
look at all these bullet holes!"
795
00:47:44,378 --> 00:47:46,588
And they had to get
me out of that scene.
796
00:47:46,838 --> 00:47:48,382
"Please get her out of here!
797
00:47:48,632 --> 00:47:50,676
We got a crime scene here!"
798
00:47:51,677 --> 00:47:55,389
So after going through all that,
799
00:47:55,639 --> 00:47:59,434
the tenants started
to complain about me
800
00:47:59,685 --> 00:48:03,939
and they got
an association together
801
00:48:04,356 --> 00:48:08,485
to kick me out because they said
that I was not on the lease.
802
00:48:09,069 --> 00:48:13,532
And they threw me out
803
00:48:14,116 --> 00:48:16,785
on the street
with all my things,
804
00:48:17,577 --> 00:48:23,083
and I went literally from
having an apartment,
805
00:48:24,876 --> 00:48:28,255
to being on the street
within minutes.
806
00:48:28,755 --> 00:48:30,257
I had nothing.
807
00:48:30,507 --> 00:48:31,758
Nothing.
808
00:48:32,009 --> 00:48:34,386
Except the little money I had,
809
00:48:34,636 --> 00:48:39,558
cash in my hand, and
the little bit of product I had.
810
00:48:39,808 --> 00:48:41,059
♪ [music comes up] ♪
811
00:48:41,351 --> 00:48:46,940
♪ I went to the city
to look around. ♪
812
00:48:49,109 --> 00:48:55,532
♪ And I seen glass buildings
standing high in the sky. ♪
813
00:48:57,034 --> 00:49:03,248
♪ And a man said,
"Lady, do you have a nickel? ♪
814
00:49:05,083 --> 00:49:09,046
♪ Cause my wife and child
is dying in the streets." ♪
815
00:49:09,296 --> 00:49:11,840
So I was on the streets,
816
00:49:12,090 --> 00:49:19,681
and I had changed
my name to Pam.
817
00:49:22,934 --> 00:49:28,190
And so nobody knew me
as Q or Diane.
818
00:49:28,690 --> 00:49:30,650
But I was the new girl
on the block.
819
00:49:30,901 --> 00:49:32,652
Cause now I was
really on the street.
820
00:49:32,903 --> 00:49:36,281
So I had to really learn where
the crack houses was,
821
00:49:36,531 --> 00:49:38,658
where the dope houses was,
822
00:49:38,909 --> 00:49:41,787
where the prostitution was,
where everything was going on
823
00:49:42,037 --> 00:49:44,331
in that community,
what was happening.
824
00:49:44,581 --> 00:49:46,083
Cause I was on the street,
825
00:49:46,333 --> 00:49:48,335
I was sleeping on the street!
826
00:49:48,585 --> 00:49:52,464
I was homeless,
I was part of the shanty town.
827
00:49:53,381 --> 00:49:56,927
And when I used all my product,
828
00:49:58,553 --> 00:50:00,806
and I didn't have no money,
829
00:50:01,765 --> 00:50:03,975
and I didn't have any job.
830
00:50:05,852 --> 00:50:08,939
I had to decide:
"Well, what you gonna do?"
831
00:50:11,399 --> 00:50:13,318
So I sold my body.
832
00:50:16,863 --> 00:50:18,240
And...
833
00:50:20,575 --> 00:50:24,412
It was something
that I had always
834
00:50:24,996 --> 00:50:27,374
sworn that I would never do.
835
00:50:27,958 --> 00:50:32,504
There was nothing in the world
could ever make me ever do that.
836
00:50:34,047 --> 00:50:36,091
But that cocaine did.
837
00:50:37,175 --> 00:50:40,137
I remember
the first time I did it too.
838
00:50:40,387 --> 00:50:45,267
And I didn't know how to act,
what to say.
839
00:50:46,184 --> 00:50:50,856
And the guy came up,
he said to me,
840
00:50:51,606 --> 00:50:55,110
"Do you got a real fat pussy?"
841
00:50:57,988 --> 00:50:59,406
And I said...
842
00:51:00,157 --> 00:51:01,867
Because, cause...
843
00:51:02,159 --> 00:51:03,702
Because I'd never
done this before,
844
00:51:03,952 --> 00:51:05,453
I didn't realize that that's
845
00:51:05,704 --> 00:51:07,497
supposed to be
some type of comment,
846
00:51:07,747 --> 00:51:09,124
because where I came from,
847
00:51:09,374 --> 00:51:11,543
your pussy was
supposed to be tight.
848
00:51:11,793 --> 00:51:12,752
[laughing]
849
00:51:13,003 --> 00:51:15,338
Not fat and drooping.
850
00:51:15,589 --> 00:51:16,590
You know what I'm saying?
851
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:19,718
And I was like,
"No, my pussy's very tight."
852
00:51:20,343 --> 00:51:22,846
I looked at him
like he was crazy!
853
00:51:23,096 --> 00:51:25,724
And then I realized, I'm not
854
00:51:25,974 --> 00:51:28,351
responding back to him
the way I'm supposed to
855
00:51:28,602 --> 00:51:30,437
because I don't know how to.
856
00:51:30,687 --> 00:51:34,107
So he went on his way and...
857
00:51:34,482 --> 00:51:37,277
I had to talk to
the girls on the street.
858
00:51:37,569 --> 00:51:40,655
I knew how to dress 'cause
I was a rock and roller.
859
00:51:40,906 --> 00:51:43,867
I didn't have no problem putting
the makeup on and the wigs.
860
00:51:44,117 --> 00:51:45,368
I was good!
861
00:51:45,785 --> 00:51:47,996
But I didn't know the language.
862
00:51:49,164 --> 00:51:52,042
♪ Sitting here in a dark bar, ♪
863
00:51:53,043 --> 00:51:55,337
♪ the lights were flashing. ♪
864
00:51:55,670 --> 00:51:59,674
♪ He was over there
by the front wall, ♪
865
00:52:00,926 --> 00:52:03,345
♪ the night is for fighting. ♪
866
00:52:03,595 --> 00:52:07,557
♪ So late yeah,
but I don't care. ♪
867
00:52:08,183 --> 00:52:10,435
♪ He's driving me crazy. ♪
868
00:52:10,852 --> 00:52:14,940
♪ I looked in his eyes and
I burned through his mind. ♪
869
00:52:15,649 --> 00:52:18,318
♪ The night is for taking. ♪
870
00:52:19,778 --> 00:52:22,489
♪ Flesh for sale... ♪
871
00:52:24,616 --> 00:52:27,953
And then the using
of the drug progressed
872
00:52:28,203 --> 00:52:31,623
til you just didn't care
to put makeup on!
873
00:52:32,082 --> 00:52:34,751
You know, I understand
prostitution when it comes to:
874
00:52:35,001 --> 00:52:36,878
"I'm going out,
it's my business,
875
00:52:37,128 --> 00:52:38,171
I'm making my money."
876
00:52:38,421 --> 00:52:42,384
You know, you go to work,
you're going to work.
877
00:52:42,759 --> 00:52:47,264
But when you are strictly
going out just to
878
00:52:47,931 --> 00:52:50,350
get enough money for...
879
00:52:51,977 --> 00:52:53,520
Drugs...
880
00:52:58,942 --> 00:53:01,361
It's insane.
881
00:53:04,656 --> 00:53:07,993
Back in the day,
this was rough country,
882
00:53:08,243 --> 00:53:09,828
this was Dodge City.
883
00:53:10,078 --> 00:53:16,251
And I would come to this church
and I would sleep,
884
00:53:17,252 --> 00:53:19,004
whether it was on the bench,
885
00:53:19,254 --> 00:53:21,423
the same benches
that are there now.
886
00:53:21,673 --> 00:53:26,219
Or, if I was too late and
somebody had already got them,
887
00:53:26,678 --> 00:53:27,554
I would sleep...
888
00:53:27,804 --> 00:53:29,514
I would climb the fence
889
00:53:29,764 --> 00:53:32,517
and I would sleep
on the other side of the church.
890
00:53:32,767 --> 00:53:33,727
[bells tolling]
891
00:53:34,019 --> 00:53:35,520
Right up in here,
892
00:53:35,770 --> 00:53:38,440
on the back side
of these trees, right here...
893
00:53:38,690 --> 00:53:40,400
Is where I slept.
894
00:53:40,984 --> 00:53:43,445
This is where my home was.
895
00:53:45,071 --> 00:53:48,241
One thing never change.
896
00:53:48,533 --> 00:53:51,494
And this is where
the homeless...
897
00:53:51,745 --> 00:53:53,747
I don't touch nothing.
898
00:53:54,497 --> 00:53:58,126
But this is where
the homeless slept last night.
899
00:53:58,793 --> 00:54:02,380
And not only did he
sleep here, or she...
900
00:54:03,381 --> 00:54:05,925
They did their drugs here too.
901
00:54:08,595 --> 00:54:14,434
At my really low point
is when I met Bob.
902
00:54:21,274 --> 00:54:23,526
When I met Q...
903
00:54:23,818 --> 00:54:26,905
Umm, that's not the name
she gave me at the time
904
00:54:27,155 --> 00:54:29,032
but that doesn't matter.
905
00:54:29,282 --> 00:54:32,369
It was on 12th Street
906
00:54:32,911 --> 00:54:34,162
and 1st Avenue.
907
00:54:34,537 --> 00:54:38,541
We met crossing the street
and said hello and...
908
00:54:39,209 --> 00:54:40,668
We got to talking and...
909
00:54:40,919 --> 00:54:44,506
It was a cold, cold night.
It was very cold.
910
00:54:44,756 --> 00:54:47,842
And all I could see
was her eyes.
911
00:54:50,136 --> 00:54:55,558
I mean she was bundled up
like a winter burka,
912
00:54:55,809 --> 00:54:57,852
all you saw were the eyes
913
00:54:58,561 --> 00:55:01,147
and I just loved the eyes.
914
00:55:01,606 --> 00:55:03,650
And then you know,
we had a drink
915
00:55:03,900 --> 00:55:06,486
and started talking and we...
916
00:55:10,573 --> 00:55:12,117
We hit it off!
917
00:55:12,409 --> 00:55:17,664
I was working as a manager
of a messenger service.
918
00:55:17,914 --> 00:55:19,416
Bicycle messenger.
919
00:55:19,666 --> 00:55:24,295
And as far as how old I was,
it was what 90? Mid-90s?
920
00:55:24,921 --> 00:55:27,173
So I was, I was 37.
921
00:55:27,424 --> 00:55:30,510
Right, and I was 36.
922
00:55:30,760 --> 00:55:35,849
And I knew I liked her
a great deal, you know.
923
00:55:36,266 --> 00:55:39,144
And when we parted company,
924
00:55:39,811 --> 00:55:41,813
I was just so convinced that
925
00:55:42,063 --> 00:55:44,524
I was never going
to see her again.
926
00:55:44,899 --> 00:55:48,278
Cause it's like, you know,
there's no way
927
00:55:48,528 --> 00:55:52,323
that she's ever gonna want to
have anything to do with me!
928
00:55:52,615 --> 00:55:53,783
And...
929
00:55:54,451 --> 00:55:55,535
She did.
930
00:55:55,910 --> 00:55:57,704
♪ [music comes up] ♪
931
00:55:58,121 --> 00:56:03,543
♪ No I never expected
this to happen. ♪
932
00:56:05,170 --> 00:56:07,213
♪ Not in here, ♪
933
00:56:07,505 --> 00:56:09,340
♪ not this way, ♪
934
00:56:09,591 --> 00:56:12,260
♪ not tonight. ♪
935
00:56:15,472 --> 00:56:21,311
♪ Just thought I'd come out
for a few laughs, ♪
936
00:56:22,812 --> 00:56:24,481
♪ a quick drink, ♪
937
00:56:25,106 --> 00:56:26,941
♪ and a smoke, ♪
938
00:56:27,275 --> 00:56:29,903
♪ then good night. ♪
939
00:56:35,325 --> 00:56:38,036
♪ Then you came on to me, ♪
940
00:56:38,620 --> 00:56:41,122
♪ and said... ♪
941
00:56:41,623 --> 00:56:46,085
Our song is "Wild Horses"
from the Rolling Stones.
942
00:56:46,628 --> 00:56:48,338
And...
943
00:56:48,713 --> 00:56:51,633
- When we were having...
- Which I can't listen to...
944
00:56:51,883 --> 00:56:55,011
- When we were having our first-
- Anymore.
945
00:56:56,137 --> 00:56:57,013
Intimate...
946
00:56:57,263 --> 00:56:58,890
- Romantic...
- Romantic...
947
00:56:59,140 --> 00:57:01,809
- Interlude.
- Interlude.
948
00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:04,521
[laughter]
949
00:57:08,650 --> 00:57:12,487
Back in the day, we called it
"slow dragging", you know.
950
00:57:12,737 --> 00:57:16,783
And I taught him how to
slow drag to this song.
951
00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:19,035
Dragged me is what you did.
952
00:57:19,285 --> 00:57:23,748
And he literally couldn't
like keep up slow dragging.
953
00:57:23,998 --> 00:57:26,209
Slow dragging, you don't
have to do much, you just...
954
00:57:26,459 --> 00:57:30,672
You said, "Dance with me"
and I said, "I can't dance."
955
00:57:30,922 --> 00:57:34,759
- One two, one two, one two.
- I was right, I can't dance.
956
00:57:35,009 --> 00:57:37,387
You know slow dragging,
you hold each other close.
957
00:57:37,637 --> 00:57:38,888
One two.
958
00:57:39,138 --> 00:57:42,892
- Couldn't do it.
- But we had a very nice...
959
00:57:44,519 --> 00:57:47,689
- We had a very nice evening.
- Yes, we did.
960
00:57:48,314 --> 00:57:50,817
How much did you know
when you met Q
961
00:57:51,067 --> 00:57:53,111
about her musical past?
962
00:57:53,361 --> 00:57:55,905
Nothing,
I knew absolutely nothing
963
00:57:56,155 --> 00:57:58,449
until she decided to tell me.
964
00:57:58,700 --> 00:58:00,535
But I told you the truth.
965
00:58:00,785 --> 00:58:02,328
No, your sister
told me the truth.
966
00:58:02,579 --> 00:58:03,830
- Did she?
- Oh no, you told me.
967
00:58:04,163 --> 00:58:08,001
- I told you, I told you.
- She told me she was an RN...
968
00:58:08,293 --> 00:58:11,629
She'd been an RN
and worked in a hospital and...
969
00:58:12,547 --> 00:58:15,425
So I had no reason
to disbelieve her.
970
00:58:15,758 --> 00:58:19,220
And then sometime later
she's asking me
971
00:58:19,470 --> 00:58:22,849
a health question or something.
972
00:58:23,099 --> 00:58:26,477
And I'm like, "Why are you
asking me? You're a nurse!"
973
00:58:26,728 --> 00:58:28,062
She said, "I'm not a nurse."
974
00:58:28,313 --> 00:58:30,940
"So then why'd
you tell me you were?"
975
00:58:31,190 --> 00:58:32,317
[laughter]
976
00:58:32,567 --> 00:58:36,738
And then I'm like,
"I guess the rock star stuff is
977
00:58:36,988 --> 00:58:38,990
a bunch of, you know,
978
00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:40,950
made up stuff too,
I don't know."
979
00:58:41,200 --> 00:58:47,248
Because I didn't want you
to know that I was on drugs,
980
00:58:47,498 --> 00:58:50,793
and I was
a prostitute and homeless.
981
00:58:51,044 --> 00:58:53,630
Pretty much everybody on the
Lower East Side was on drugs.
982
00:58:53,880 --> 00:58:59,010
Yeah but that's not the point.
That's not the point, you know?
983
00:58:59,302 --> 00:59:00,553
[laughter]
984
00:59:01,054 --> 00:59:02,972
And so we were getting together
985
00:59:03,222 --> 00:59:06,726
so I had to come up with
something besides...
986
00:59:07,060 --> 00:59:11,439
I didn't want anybody
to know at that point
987
00:59:11,689 --> 00:59:13,149
where Q Lazzarus was.
988
00:59:22,825 --> 00:59:24,619
This particular...
989
00:59:26,871 --> 00:59:28,122
Day.
990
00:59:31,459 --> 00:59:33,961
Or this case, my case,
991
00:59:34,671 --> 00:59:38,424
I happened to be not the buyer,
I was the seller.
992
00:59:38,675 --> 00:59:40,802
So if the dealer said:
993
00:59:41,052 --> 00:59:43,096
"Okay, I'll tell you
what you're gonna do.
994
00:59:43,346 --> 00:59:45,431
You're gonna sell this bundle,
995
00:59:45,682 --> 00:59:48,309
and out of the bundle
you keep two."
996
00:59:48,810 --> 00:59:49,519
You know?
997
00:59:49,769 --> 00:59:54,065
And that's how you got
your shit for the night.
998
00:59:54,440 --> 00:59:57,485
And that was the situation.
999
00:59:57,902 --> 01:00:00,154
I was selling to use,
1000
01:00:00,822 --> 01:00:02,532
and they caught me.
1001
01:00:03,157 --> 01:00:08,996
But how it all came about
that I even considered stopping
1002
01:00:09,997 --> 01:00:13,000
was because I said, "You
know what?" Sitting somewhere
1003
01:00:13,251 --> 01:00:15,253
smoking a pipe, and I said,
1004
01:00:16,170 --> 01:00:18,506
"When's the last time
I had my period?"
1005
01:00:18,756 --> 01:00:20,466
And I couldn't remember.
1006
01:00:21,134 --> 01:00:23,928
So I said,
"Well that's not good."
1007
01:00:24,303 --> 01:00:30,226
So I went to the drugstore
and I stole a pregnancy test,
1008
01:00:31,018 --> 01:00:33,813
and it came out positive.
1009
01:00:34,897 --> 01:00:38,609
So I went to Beth Israel,
and the doctor told me
1010
01:00:38,860 --> 01:00:43,156
that I was
5 and 1/2 months pregnant.
1011
01:00:44,657 --> 01:00:47,994
That's a long, long, long time
1012
01:00:48,244 --> 01:00:51,414
for a baby to be inside of you
1013
01:00:51,706 --> 01:00:53,750
and you're using...
1014
01:00:54,667 --> 01:00:55,918
Cocaine.
1015
01:00:58,296 --> 01:00:59,255
You know,
1016
01:00:59,672 --> 01:01:04,844
it comes a time when
you are carrying that cross,
1017
01:01:06,471 --> 01:01:08,264
that cross get...
1018
01:01:09,432 --> 01:01:15,188
That cross get
very hard to carry.
1019
01:01:16,773 --> 01:01:20,151
And that's when
you get down on one knee
1020
01:01:22,320 --> 01:01:27,450
because you can't,
you can't hold it up no more.
1021
01:01:28,743 --> 01:01:31,537
I didn't know
what I was gonna do.
1022
01:01:34,457 --> 01:01:36,751
But suicide was very...
1023
01:01:41,756 --> 01:01:44,550
It was sounding very good to me.
1024
01:01:45,301 --> 01:01:48,179
Remember I have a court case.
1025
01:01:48,429 --> 01:01:51,265
Think it was
the next day, day after.
1026
01:01:51,724 --> 01:01:54,393
The judge said,
"You know what, Miss Luckey?
1027
01:01:54,644 --> 01:01:58,606
I'm gonna give your behind
a little time to cool off.
1028
01:01:59,398 --> 01:02:01,609
You're not going home today.
1029
01:02:03,986 --> 01:02:05,947
You understand?
1030
01:02:06,572 --> 01:02:09,867
It's called
Care, Custody and Control.
1031
01:02:10,117 --> 01:02:11,702
That's where you're going.
1032
01:02:11,953 --> 01:02:14,080
You're going to
Rikers Island today."
1033
01:02:14,831 --> 01:02:19,502
♪ When I was young,
I had everything, I abused it. ♪
1034
01:02:22,880 --> 01:02:27,510
♪ Everything I ever touched,
I used it. ♪
1035
01:02:30,972 --> 01:02:35,643
♪ Backwards, forwards, turn
upside down, I needed it. ♪
1036
01:02:38,729 --> 01:02:41,691
♪ It holds me up when
I'm down on the floor. ♪
1037
01:02:41,941 --> 01:02:43,109
♪ It's a fool's life...♪
1038
01:02:43,359 --> 01:02:46,863
Well my sentence was 3 to life,
and I had a bundle.
1039
01:02:47,405 --> 01:02:50,408
Ten little chunks of crack.
1040
01:02:50,867 --> 01:02:52,076
Vials.
1041
01:02:52,618 --> 01:02:54,161
Not a big deal.
1042
01:02:54,787 --> 01:03:00,501
Where the guys who was selling
millions on the street
1043
01:03:00,835 --> 01:03:03,296
was getting the same time.
1044
01:03:04,589 --> 01:03:08,551
One night I was sleeping
in my bed,
1045
01:03:09,635 --> 01:03:13,598
and this inmate next door to me
1046
01:03:16,893 --> 01:03:18,853
She got up,
1047
01:03:20,271 --> 01:03:23,608
and she started praising God.
1048
01:03:25,067 --> 01:03:28,195
She just kept saying,
"Jesus, Jesus, Jesus..."
1049
01:03:28,613 --> 01:03:31,490
and "Save me,
save me from, save me..."
1050
01:03:31,741 --> 01:03:35,161
And she did this
for like, hours.
1051
01:03:35,661 --> 01:03:38,915
And the next day, I walked out.
1052
01:03:39,165 --> 01:03:41,542
It was breakfast time,
and I said,
1053
01:03:41,792 --> 01:03:44,170
"Look, as long as
this baby is in you,
1054
01:03:44,420 --> 01:03:46,881
you can't use no more drugs."
1055
01:03:47,298 --> 01:03:49,592
Came out in 7 days,
the judge says,
1056
01:03:49,842 --> 01:03:52,553
"I want to see you
back here in 3."
1057
01:03:52,845 --> 01:03:55,556
So I said to the prosecutor:
1058
01:03:56,182 --> 01:03:59,018
"I have a baby in me,
1059
01:03:59,894 --> 01:04:01,437
and...
1060
01:04:02,939 --> 01:04:05,608
I can't go back on the street.
1061
01:04:07,860 --> 01:04:12,281
I'm not that strong.
I've only been here 7 days.
1062
01:04:14,200 --> 01:04:15,952
And I'm sober."
1063
01:04:16,994 --> 01:04:20,498
She said, "There's something
about you Miss Luckey,
1064
01:04:20,831 --> 01:04:24,377
that I believe that you can be
one of those persons
1065
01:04:24,627 --> 01:04:27,046
that can change
your life around."
1066
01:04:27,296 --> 01:04:30,383
She says,
"I'm gonna offer you a deal.
1067
01:04:31,175 --> 01:04:36,055
I'm gonna send you to Odyssey,
a drug treatment program,
1068
01:04:36,305 --> 01:04:41,394
and you're gonna learn to live
your life without drugs."
1069
01:04:42,979 --> 01:04:46,774
This is right after
me having James,
1070
01:04:47,149 --> 01:04:50,111
and we're just sleeping together
as mom and son,
1071
01:04:50,361 --> 01:04:52,071
and I'm holding him...
1072
01:04:52,321 --> 01:04:53,781
And that was before
she went away.
1073
01:04:54,031 --> 01:04:55,241
Yeah.
1074
01:04:56,075 --> 01:05:00,496
James was supposed to come
in August, but he came in June.
1075
01:05:00,746 --> 01:05:03,499
He was a premature baby,
but very healthy.
1076
01:05:03,749 --> 01:05:08,671
But I was dabbing,
so it was in James' system.
1077
01:05:08,921 --> 01:05:14,176
And ACS let the judge know
that James was born
1078
01:05:14,427 --> 01:05:17,221
with traces of cocaine.
1079
01:05:17,638 --> 01:05:21,142
So when the whole thing
went down,
1080
01:05:21,809 --> 01:05:26,105
I called my people.
My people came and got my son.
1081
01:05:26,564 --> 01:05:29,025
So I was lucky that way.
1082
01:05:29,567 --> 01:05:32,486
Three days later,
I'm back in court.
1083
01:05:32,737 --> 01:05:35,072
The judge says,
"I'm going to send you
1084
01:05:35,322 --> 01:05:37,575
to a drug program called Daytop
1085
01:05:37,825 --> 01:05:39,827
because those 17 months?
1086
01:05:40,077 --> 01:05:41,704
They no longer count."
1087
01:05:42,079 --> 01:05:45,207
When she was away,
when Diane was away,
1088
01:05:45,750 --> 01:05:48,252
I had to take care of James.
1089
01:05:48,502 --> 01:05:50,796
And I did my best but...
1090
01:05:52,339 --> 01:05:55,593
You know now I'm single,
I'm working full time.
1091
01:05:55,843 --> 01:05:58,554
And I had to find
a babysitter who
1092
01:05:58,804 --> 01:06:01,932
charged me
a great deal of money.
1093
01:06:02,183 --> 01:06:06,062
And then eventually,
it became more feasible
1094
01:06:06,312 --> 01:06:10,066
for her family, her mother,
him staying there permanently,
1095
01:06:10,316 --> 01:06:12,735
and me coming down
on the weekends.
1096
01:06:13,652 --> 01:06:17,406
I went through the whole thing,
and I became a senior
1097
01:06:18,365 --> 01:06:20,034
and...
1098
01:06:24,371 --> 01:06:26,707
I had an urge.
1099
01:06:27,416 --> 01:06:31,212
And I remember
getting on my knees and I said,
1100
01:06:31,462 --> 01:06:35,132
"Jesus, I only got
a few choices here.
1101
01:06:35,758 --> 01:06:40,054
I might graduate from this
program, but I'm gonna go back,
1102
01:06:40,304 --> 01:06:42,264
I'm never gonna
get to know my son,
1103
01:06:42,515 --> 01:06:44,183
I'm never gonna be a good mom,
1104
01:06:44,433 --> 01:06:48,187
I'm never gonna do anything
that I want to do,
1105
01:06:48,479 --> 01:06:51,440
all I'm gonna be is
a fucking crackhead.
1106
01:06:52,024 --> 01:06:53,484
Second choice
1107
01:06:56,445 --> 01:06:58,823
is that I can just kill myself.
1108
01:06:59,657 --> 01:07:02,910
I don't have to worry about
the embarrassment of my son
1109
01:07:03,160 --> 01:07:06,914
'cause he don't know me!
He knows my mom and my sisters.
1110
01:07:07,164 --> 01:07:09,834
He thinks his mom
is in the hospital
1111
01:07:10,084 --> 01:07:11,710
because she's sick.
1112
01:07:12,002 --> 01:07:14,213
He's 4 1/2 years old.
He don't know.
1113
01:07:14,797 --> 01:07:16,632
Or...
1114
01:07:18,050 --> 01:07:20,344
You're gonna have to come in
1115
01:07:22,763 --> 01:07:27,643
and you are gonna have to
give me the strength
1116
01:07:33,983 --> 01:07:37,611
not to use drugs again."
1117
01:07:38,654 --> 01:07:42,116
I graduated. I had no skills.
1118
01:07:42,366 --> 01:07:44,451
I was always in music.
1119
01:07:45,369 --> 01:07:49,081
I said, "But you know what
you do do real good, Diane?
1120
01:07:49,331 --> 01:07:51,792
You drive real well."
1121
01:07:52,376 --> 01:07:56,213
I went and got my CDL,
I found a job.
1122
01:07:57,798 --> 01:08:01,510
And I found an apartment.
1123
01:08:02,094 --> 01:08:04,555
And I did everything
I was supposed to do
1124
01:08:04,805 --> 01:08:06,849
not because it was
on a piece of paper,
1125
01:08:07,099 --> 01:08:09,393
but because I knew this is what
I had to do to get my son back.
1126
01:08:09,643 --> 01:08:11,478
Because the whole time,
I wanted my son back.
1127
01:08:11,729 --> 01:08:12,563
I wanted my baby.
1128
01:08:12,813 --> 01:08:14,773
You all have had him
for a long time.
1129
01:08:15,024 --> 01:08:17,443
It's time for me
to raise my son.
1130
01:08:17,776 --> 01:08:19,695
And one year,
1131
01:08:20,779 --> 01:08:22,281
to the day,
1132
01:08:23,991 --> 01:08:25,826
James came
1133
01:08:26,660 --> 01:08:29,622
and lived with me
and his father.
1134
01:08:31,165 --> 01:08:33,083
He was 6 years old.
1135
01:08:36,045 --> 01:08:39,298
♪ [music comes up] ♪
1136
01:08:40,382 --> 01:08:43,761
♪ The sun is up. ♪
1137
01:08:46,263 --> 01:08:50,726
♪ The tide is low. ♪
1138
01:08:52,770 --> 01:08:57,024
♪ Sand is white. ♪
1139
01:08:58,525 --> 01:09:03,656
♪ Ships are moving slow. ♪
1140
01:09:04,698 --> 01:09:09,286
♪ The sky is blue. ♪
1141
01:09:10,704 --> 01:09:14,667
♪ Birds are flying low. ♪
1142
01:09:16,669 --> 01:09:18,462
♪ Singing to a tune...♪
1143
01:09:18,712 --> 01:09:21,924
Growing up, my mom,
she was always...
1144
01:09:22,174 --> 01:09:23,676
Just wild.
1145
01:09:23,926 --> 01:09:27,221
She's just like a wild,
fun person to be around.
1146
01:09:27,513 --> 01:09:28,973
Sometimes she's a little
too wild
1147
01:09:29,223 --> 01:09:30,683
and it's a little annoying but
1148
01:09:30,933 --> 01:09:34,270
it's always super fun especially
family gatherings and events.
1149
01:09:34,520 --> 01:09:37,147
When I was younger though,
1150
01:09:37,773 --> 01:09:39,900
when she would go on
1151
01:09:40,150 --> 01:09:42,403
Niagara Falls tours
and things like that...
1152
01:09:42,653 --> 01:09:47,366
That she'd be gone for like,
sometimes like 3, 4, 5 days.
1153
01:09:48,701 --> 01:09:52,246
I was driving coach buses,
passengers, yes.
1154
01:09:52,997 --> 01:09:55,916
I mainly drove the East coast.
1155
01:09:56,166 --> 01:09:59,378
I drove from Florida
straight up to Canada.
1156
01:10:00,212 --> 01:10:03,090
What is it about
driving that you like?
1157
01:10:03,382 --> 01:10:05,175
I get to think.
1158
01:10:06,093 --> 01:10:08,053
You know, evaluate.
1159
01:10:08,304 --> 01:10:11,223
See the world change.
I like to see change.
1160
01:10:11,974 --> 01:10:14,059
When I was a bus driver,
1161
01:10:14,310 --> 01:10:16,603
a few people
were invited over to
1162
01:10:16,854 --> 01:10:19,606
one of the bus driver's house.
1163
01:10:20,065 --> 01:10:22,693
And they all came in
and they said,
1164
01:10:24,028 --> 01:10:25,487
"Are you a singer?"
1165
01:10:25,738 --> 01:10:28,991
And I said, "Of course not,
I'm a bus driver, you ass!"
1166
01:10:29,241 --> 01:10:33,537
"No! There's this woman inside
this movie called Philadelphia,
1167
01:10:33,787 --> 01:10:35,497
and we all was watching it.
1168
01:10:35,748 --> 01:10:39,126
And she looks just like you!
She's your twin, Luck!
1169
01:10:39,376 --> 01:10:41,128
At that time,
they called me Luckey.
1170
01:10:41,378 --> 01:10:43,047
"Luckey, she's your twin!"
1171
01:10:43,297 --> 01:10:45,883
And I was just like, "Oh, okay
everybody got a twin."
1172
01:10:46,133 --> 01:10:48,802
"No, but you gotta watch it!"
1173
01:10:49,303 --> 01:10:53,307
And the whole time I'm saying
to myself, "If they only knew.
1174
01:10:54,224 --> 01:10:56,185
If they only knew."
1175
01:10:56,769 --> 01:10:58,395
How did you find out? I mean,
1176
01:10:58,687 --> 01:11:01,690
when was the first time
you actually like...
1177
01:11:02,024 --> 01:11:03,275
knew...
1178
01:11:05,194 --> 01:11:07,237
that I was Q Lazzarus?
1179
01:11:08,238 --> 01:11:10,908
The first time I found out,
1180
01:11:11,200 --> 01:11:14,620
I think I was somewhere
between 8 and 9 years old and
1181
01:11:14,870 --> 01:11:18,082
Aunt Abbie told me.
She told me about all the stuff.
1182
01:11:18,332 --> 01:11:19,583
- My sister.
- Yes.
1183
01:11:19,833 --> 01:11:22,503
She told me about stuff you did
and showed me your old cassettes
1184
01:11:22,753 --> 01:11:25,214
and all the old photographs
and things like that.
1185
01:11:25,547 --> 01:11:28,008
But the first time I really
1186
01:11:28,258 --> 01:11:31,470
knew how major it was,
was probably...
1187
01:11:31,720 --> 01:11:35,808
I was playing some video game,
I don't remember which it was
1188
01:11:36,058 --> 01:11:38,727
cause it's multiple games but...
I heard your song and I was:
1189
01:11:38,977 --> 01:11:43,190
"Wait a minute. This is actually
major, actually something big."
1190
01:11:43,440 --> 01:11:45,526
They know the song,
1191
01:11:45,776 --> 01:11:49,530
but the reason
why I kept it from James,
1192
01:11:49,780 --> 01:11:53,575
because of what my past was.
1193
01:11:53,951 --> 01:11:57,079
The bad side of it,
not the good side.
1194
01:11:57,329 --> 01:12:01,625
Because I wanted him
to see me only as "Mom".
1195
01:12:03,127 --> 01:12:10,509
I wanna see this video that
Leslie made so many years ago.
1196
01:12:10,843 --> 01:12:12,886
1987.
1197
01:12:13,387 --> 01:12:14,471
Wow.
1198
01:12:16,974 --> 01:12:20,811
I mean who put this on the
internet? I don't have no idea.
1199
01:12:22,146 --> 01:12:23,939
Mon Amie Records.
1200
01:12:24,398 --> 01:12:27,776
M-O-N-A-M-I-E Records.
1201
01:12:28,026 --> 01:12:29,862
I can't see without my glasses.
1202
01:12:30,112 --> 01:12:33,782
And they have links to you on
Apple Music and you on Spotify.
1203
01:12:34,032 --> 01:12:37,786
So she has my image on
her record label, my music.
1204
01:12:38,036 --> 01:12:39,037
And let's go to...
1205
01:12:39,288 --> 01:12:41,623
Let's go to Q Lazzarus,
click on that.
1206
01:12:42,624 --> 01:12:45,461
It's a 12-inch single and she is...
1207
01:12:45,752 --> 01:12:48,672
- $13 dollars.
- For $13, and it's sold out.
1208
01:12:48,964 --> 01:12:51,258
How do you feel about that, son?
1209
01:12:51,675 --> 01:12:53,260
I just don't understand
how you haven't been
1210
01:12:53,510 --> 01:12:55,220
getting paid for this
for all this time.
1211
01:12:55,512 --> 01:12:57,848
Two demo versions.
Who has the demo?
1212
01:12:58,098 --> 01:13:00,476
I don't have the demo.
How does she have the demo?
1213
01:13:00,726 --> 01:13:01,977
Or they have the demo?
1214
01:13:02,227 --> 01:13:06,148
"Transferred from Q's original
demo cassette from the 80s."
1215
01:13:06,398 --> 01:13:09,985
"From the 80s." Where did they
get that from, I wonder?
1216
01:13:10,652 --> 01:13:12,279
Okay, so what is this?
1217
01:13:12,613 --> 01:13:15,908
This is the... It's the page
I wanted to show you.
1218
01:13:16,158 --> 01:13:16,992
Yeah.
1219
01:13:17,326 --> 01:13:19,786
So he puts the lyrics here,
1220
01:13:20,037 --> 01:13:22,581
talking about how
he doesn't like how
1221
01:13:22,831 --> 01:13:24,166
the lyrics are always messed up.
1222
01:13:24,416 --> 01:13:26,335
When other people sing
"Goodbye Horses" he's not
1223
01:13:26,585 --> 01:13:28,462
a big fan of them
getting the lyrics wrong.
1224
01:13:28,712 --> 01:13:29,796
So he uploads the lyrics
himself here.
1225
01:13:30,047 --> 01:13:30,714
Okay.
1226
01:13:30,964 --> 01:13:34,301
And down here below, it says:
1227
01:13:34,551 --> 01:13:35,969
"Q and B Publishing".
1228
01:13:36,220 --> 01:13:40,891
- That's Q and Bill.
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
1229
01:13:41,141 --> 01:13:46,188
That's what we published
"Goodbye Horses" under
1230
01:13:46,855 --> 01:13:48,398
from Day One.
1231
01:13:49,816 --> 01:13:54,363
Right, but the copyright after
the movie Clerks 2 came out
1232
01:13:54,821 --> 01:13:58,200
was changed to
"Garvey Media, LLC".
1233
01:13:58,450 --> 01:14:00,285
Now this was in 2008.
1234
01:14:00,577 --> 01:14:02,788
So I'm trying to figure out...
1235
01:14:03,038 --> 01:14:06,875
How do you go and
re-copyright something
1236
01:14:07,125 --> 01:14:08,835
that's already been...
1237
01:14:10,379 --> 01:14:12,381
- Copywritten.
- I don't know.
1238
01:14:12,714 --> 01:14:14,132
I don't understand that.
1239
01:14:14,383 --> 01:14:17,386
I don't know how
that's possible but...
1240
01:14:18,595 --> 01:14:20,931
Yeah, this is what happened.
1241
01:14:22,766 --> 01:14:24,977
I wonder since he's dead,
he died a year after this
1242
01:14:25,227 --> 01:14:26,770
who's getting
1243
01:14:27,020 --> 01:14:28,814
the residuals
from this copyright.
1244
01:14:29,064 --> 01:14:31,316
That's something that we need
to look further into.
1245
01:14:31,567 --> 01:14:35,571
Did you ever make any money
from "Goodbye Horses" like...
1246
01:14:35,821 --> 01:14:38,740
No, except from the movies.
1247
01:14:40,284 --> 01:14:42,327
You weren't paid anything
to record the song?
1248
01:14:42,578 --> 01:14:43,579
No.
1249
01:14:45,581 --> 01:14:46,790
No.
1250
01:14:48,917 --> 01:14:50,419
I mean...
1251
01:14:54,214 --> 01:14:55,674
[telephone speaker]
1252
01:14:56,008 --> 01:15:00,053
Hi, good morning.
Oh, now it's afternoon.
1253
01:15:00,304 --> 01:15:02,931
This is Diane Luckey calling.
How are you?
1254
01:15:03,181 --> 01:15:05,183
- Good, thanks. How are you?
- I'm good.
1255
01:15:05,434 --> 01:15:08,061
I've sent in the information and
1256
01:15:08,312 --> 01:15:10,939
I wanted to make sure
that you received it.
1257
01:15:11,189 --> 01:15:12,941
Sure, could you give me
one moment?
1258
01:15:13,191 --> 01:15:14,860
Okay, thank you.
1259
01:15:17,696 --> 01:15:20,616
Yes, we have received
all of your documents
1260
01:15:20,866 --> 01:15:23,118
and somebody will review them
and get back to you.
1261
01:15:23,368 --> 01:15:28,999
OK, alright so I'll be looking
forward to your phone call.
1262
01:15:29,333 --> 01:15:30,292
Great, thank you so much.
1263
01:15:30,542 --> 01:15:32,961
Thank you so much
and have a great day.
1264
01:15:33,211 --> 01:15:35,505
- You too.
- Alright honey, bye bye.
1265
01:15:35,922 --> 01:15:37,299
[phone hanging up]
1266
01:15:37,549 --> 01:15:40,052
Well, I hope...
1267
01:15:41,678 --> 01:15:44,014
They accept me because
1268
01:15:44,264 --> 01:15:47,601
I need a lawyer
in order to track
1269
01:15:48,935 --> 01:15:51,813
this madness down.
1270
01:15:52,814 --> 01:15:54,775
I want to see vengeance.
1271
01:15:55,025 --> 01:15:57,069
I want to see some justice
for what happened.
1272
01:15:57,319 --> 01:16:01,531
I want to see if it's possible
that she gets back pay
1273
01:16:01,782 --> 01:16:04,660
for what these people
have taken from her
1274
01:16:04,910 --> 01:16:08,872
and the royalties get put back
into her name and...
1275
01:16:09,373 --> 01:16:12,376
She starts living the life
that she was supposed to.
1276
01:16:12,668 --> 01:16:15,337
You're not supposed to just...
1277
01:16:15,587 --> 01:16:19,925
be a star one day
and then not the next day.
1278
01:16:20,175 --> 01:16:22,886
I know it's the 15 minutes
of fame thing
1279
01:16:23,136 --> 01:16:24,554
and all that sort of thing but
1280
01:16:24,805 --> 01:16:27,766
she was on her way to being
something major so...
1281
01:16:28,016 --> 01:16:30,352
And now everything's just...
1282
01:16:30,602 --> 01:16:31,895
Gone.
1283
01:16:34,106 --> 01:16:36,733
- Hello.
- Alright so I brought him, ok?
1284
01:16:36,983 --> 01:16:40,070
Yes, you better not come
without bringing him.
1285
01:16:41,863 --> 01:16:42,989
James better come!
1286
01:16:43,240 --> 01:16:44,616
- You look good, girl!
- Thank you.
1287
01:16:44,866 --> 01:16:46,076
What you doin'?
1288
01:16:46,326 --> 01:16:48,203
Diane, you're losing
a lot of weight.
1289
01:16:48,453 --> 01:16:51,289
Girl, the hip
can't take no weight.
1290
01:16:52,958 --> 01:16:54,042
Are we ready for me?
1291
01:16:54,292 --> 01:16:56,044
- Yeah, we're ready.
- Okay.
1292
01:16:57,796 --> 01:17:02,801
So what happened was
Eva got into my car.
1293
01:17:03,343 --> 01:17:04,386
Oh.
1294
01:17:05,345 --> 01:17:06,847
And...
1295
01:17:09,057 --> 01:17:11,768
She asked me
the most strangest thing.
1296
01:17:12,018 --> 01:17:14,771
She said, "Do you know
who Q Lazzarus is?"
1297
01:17:15,021 --> 01:17:16,898
- Are you serious?
- I swear.
1298
01:17:17,149 --> 01:17:19,234
- Are you serious?
- I swear to God.
1299
01:17:19,484 --> 01:17:20,527
I swear to God.
1300
01:17:20,777 --> 01:17:21,945
Wow.
1301
01:17:22,279 --> 01:17:25,407
She caught my ass off-guard.
But I was quick.
1302
01:17:25,657 --> 01:17:28,785
I said, "Yeah,
I've heard of her."
1303
01:17:29,035 --> 01:17:33,707
But something on my heart was
so heavy from me saying no.
1304
01:17:33,957 --> 01:17:36,835
Because I had a dream
that I was performing.
1305
01:17:37,085 --> 01:17:41,381
I was performing hard,
I was performing so hard
1306
01:17:41,631 --> 01:17:44,342
On stage, with the band!
1307
01:17:44,676 --> 01:17:47,679
And I woke up and
I felt so energetic,
1308
01:17:47,929 --> 01:17:50,515
I was like, "I'm cool, that was
a good dream, you know?
1309
01:17:50,682 --> 01:17:53,894
I could have done some more
hours of that, you know."
1310
01:17:54,144 --> 01:17:56,188
And then she got in my car.
1311
01:17:56,480 --> 01:17:58,815
For me, you know what it was?
1312
01:17:59,065 --> 01:18:01,902
It was the first time
since the time I said,
1313
01:18:02,152 --> 01:18:04,613
"I gotta leave Q Lazzarus
at the curb."
1314
01:18:04,863 --> 01:18:08,784
It was the first time that
I said, "You know what?
1315
01:18:09,034 --> 01:18:12,412
I'm proud of Q Lazzarus!
Let me pick this bitch back up!"
1316
01:18:12,662 --> 01:18:14,790
And I turned around when
she got off and I said,
1317
01:18:15,040 --> 01:18:17,209
"Yes my name is Q Lazzarus,
nice to meet you."
1318
01:18:17,459 --> 01:18:20,045
Wow, that is something
like out of a movie!
1319
01:18:20,295 --> 01:18:21,379
That's like Jonathan Demme.
1320
01:18:21,630 --> 01:18:23,131
The same thing with
"Goodbye Horses"!
1321
01:18:23,381 --> 01:18:25,759
Hello! Hello!
1322
01:18:26,176 --> 01:18:27,844
Yes! Yes!
1323
01:18:28,303 --> 01:18:30,597
Wow, cause he did
the same thing,
1324
01:18:30,847 --> 01:18:32,724
he listened to your music.
1325
01:18:33,350 --> 01:18:34,434
Wow!
1326
01:18:34,684 --> 01:18:36,436
Isn't that crazy?
Now you tell me.
1327
01:18:36,686 --> 01:18:37,395
It's destiny.
1328
01:18:37,646 --> 01:18:40,440
- You tell me.
- It's supposed to be.
1329
01:18:40,690 --> 01:18:41,650
Yeah.
1330
01:18:41,900 --> 01:18:43,777
I think my mom...
1331
01:18:45,070 --> 01:18:49,574
You know she wants to
jump back into the scene,
1332
01:18:49,825 --> 01:18:50,909
the music scene.
1333
01:18:51,159 --> 01:18:52,619
And I think she should.
1334
01:18:52,869 --> 01:18:56,456
Everybody deserves
to live their dream,
1335
01:18:56,706 --> 01:18:59,459
and pursue
what makes them happy.
1336
01:18:59,709 --> 01:19:02,712
Especially, you know,
she spent the last, you know,
1337
01:19:02,963 --> 01:19:05,131
my whole life,
taking care of me,
1338
01:19:05,382 --> 01:19:07,592
and taking care of family.
1339
01:19:07,843 --> 01:19:09,719
Why not, you know...
1340
01:19:10,387 --> 01:19:11,763
Do what makes you happy?
1341
01:19:12,013 --> 01:19:12,973
And her fan base is there,
1342
01:19:13,223 --> 01:19:16,560
it's not like she's jumping into
something so cold turkey,
1343
01:19:16,810 --> 01:19:19,813
so out of her nature.
1344
01:19:20,063 --> 01:19:22,482
This is what she came from.
1345
01:19:22,732 --> 01:19:26,027
This is what she knows.
This is her first life.
1346
01:19:27,863 --> 01:19:29,739
[Facetime ringing]
1347
01:19:31,408 --> 01:19:33,618
How come he's not getting it?
1348
01:19:34,035 --> 01:19:36,162
[shout out, laughter]
1349
01:19:36,496 --> 01:19:38,331
Now you believe it?
1350
01:19:38,748 --> 01:19:40,333
I'm alive!
1351
01:19:40,917 --> 01:19:43,795
[laughter]
1352
01:19:46,089 --> 01:19:49,050
- I missed you so much.
- Diane Luckey, I believe.
1353
01:19:49,467 --> 01:19:51,845
What'd you say?
Say it again!
1354
01:19:52,679 --> 01:19:54,931
Diane Luckey...
1355
01:19:55,223 --> 01:19:56,057
[laughter]
1356
01:19:56,308 --> 01:19:59,102
- It's been 30 years I believe.
- It has.
1357
01:19:59,603 --> 01:20:00,812
It has, Shane.
1358
01:20:01,104 --> 01:20:02,689
When did you move back
to America?
1359
01:20:02,939 --> 01:20:04,858
In the 90s and you know,
1360
01:20:05,108 --> 01:20:07,193
I got caught up
in a lot of things...
1361
01:20:07,444 --> 01:20:08,695
You know, life.
1362
01:20:08,945 --> 01:20:11,948
I still had a life
and I still lived and...
1363
01:20:12,282 --> 01:20:14,242
You know, I made it through.
1364
01:20:14,576 --> 01:20:22,250
So, I want to put
the band back together.
1365
01:20:22,792 --> 01:20:25,503
It's gonna be hard without Mark.
1366
01:20:26,588 --> 01:20:28,048
However...
1367
01:20:29,549 --> 01:20:33,261
Regardless of what it really is,
I want to work with you.
1368
01:20:34,179 --> 01:20:36,264
- Alright Q.
- Yeah, yeah.
1369
01:20:36,514 --> 01:20:38,975
I love you, Shane.
You don't know how much.
1370
01:20:39,225 --> 01:20:43,355
And we're also gonna do
a concert in New York.
1371
01:20:43,605 --> 01:20:44,147
We are?
1372
01:20:44,397 --> 01:20:44,940
Yeah now...
1373
01:20:45,732 --> 01:20:48,652
Have you been singing much,
in the last 20 years?
1374
01:20:48,902 --> 01:20:53,114
I haven't sung at all.
I haven't done anything.
1375
01:20:53,365 --> 01:20:55,617
I told you,
I walked off the planet.
1376
01:20:55,867 --> 01:20:56,910
I did.
1377
01:20:57,619 --> 01:20:59,579
And now she's...
1378
01:21:00,497 --> 01:21:02,832
Now I hear her
singing more often.
1379
01:21:03,083 --> 01:21:04,125
[laughter]
1380
01:21:04,376 --> 01:21:05,794
Which I enjoy.
1381
01:21:06,962 --> 01:21:09,339
And you know...
1382
01:21:09,881 --> 01:21:11,675
It's about time.
1383
01:21:12,509 --> 01:21:15,637
♪ And I said, "Oh no sir, ♪
1384
01:21:15,887 --> 01:21:18,181
♪ I must say wrong. ♪
1385
01:21:19,099 --> 01:21:22,727
♪ I must disagree, oh no sir, ♪
1386
01:21:23,478 --> 01:21:25,897
♪ I must say wrong. ♪
1387
01:21:26,856 --> 01:21:29,693
♪ Won't you listen to me?" ♪
1388
01:21:38,076 --> 01:21:39,744
[beeper rings]
1389
01:22:03,810 --> 01:22:05,520
[phone hangs up]
1390
01:22:06,187 --> 01:22:10,775
We're stuck in this and listen,
we don't know how long.
1391
01:22:11,026 --> 01:22:13,611
We really don't know
how long, you know?
1392
01:22:16,322 --> 01:22:19,534
But most people
are not traveling.
1393
01:22:20,452 --> 01:22:22,996
And... That's good.
1394
01:22:23,663 --> 01:22:26,666
But it's...
I haven't worked...
1395
01:22:26,916 --> 01:22:30,086
I took myself out of work
two weeks ago.
1396
01:22:31,588 --> 01:22:34,466
No justice, no peace.
1397
01:22:34,716 --> 01:22:36,676
- No justice!
- No peace!
1398
01:22:36,926 --> 01:22:38,887
Say his name, George Floyd!
1399
01:22:39,137 --> 01:22:43,224
Say his name, George Floyd!
Say his name, George Floyd!
1400
01:22:43,475 --> 01:22:46,478
I can't breathe!
I can't breathe!
1401
01:22:46,728 --> 01:22:49,773
I can't breathe!
I can't breathe!
1402
01:22:50,648 --> 01:22:53,651
If I missed out on this,
1403
01:22:53,902 --> 01:22:55,028
and I didn't, you know,
1404
01:22:55,278 --> 01:22:57,322
I wasn't in the streets
with my people that night,
1405
01:22:57,572 --> 01:22:59,908
I wouldn't have been able
to look myself in the mirror.
1406
01:23:00,241 --> 01:23:04,079
So I feel like they've been
just as effective as
1407
01:23:04,329 --> 01:23:08,124
the ones from the 60s,
and the riots from the 90s.
1408
01:23:10,126 --> 01:23:13,505
And any sort of protest or riot,
1409
01:23:13,880 --> 01:23:16,716
or any sort of action towards
1410
01:23:17,133 --> 01:23:21,179
the systematic racism in this
country throughout the years.
1411
01:23:21,429 --> 01:23:23,681
All those were effective but,
1412
01:23:24,015 --> 01:23:25,767
how effective are we talking?
1413
01:23:26,017 --> 01:23:27,769
You young people are doing
the right thing.
1414
01:23:28,019 --> 01:23:31,022
You are doing the right thing,
you're thinking!
1415
01:23:31,272 --> 01:23:33,066
This is a change!
1416
01:23:33,316 --> 01:23:37,153
You are going to be...
You're bringing back reform!
1417
01:23:37,403 --> 01:23:40,657
You know Mommy never seen
nothing like this before!
1418
01:23:41,199 --> 01:23:44,327
Daddy never seen
nothing like this before!
1419
01:23:45,203 --> 01:23:46,621
Never!
1420
01:23:49,290 --> 01:23:52,127
Don't drop the ball.
1421
01:24:01,177 --> 01:24:03,555
So right now we're gonna
go to the airport,
1422
01:24:03,805 --> 01:24:06,182
I'm gonna head over to Alaska.
1423
01:24:06,432 --> 01:24:08,393
I'm gonna spend the night
in Anchorage and then,
1424
01:24:08,643 --> 01:24:10,728
depending if I decide
to stay in Anchorage
1425
01:24:10,979 --> 01:24:13,356
or decide to go to Kodiak.
1426
01:24:13,648 --> 01:24:15,108
That's where I'll go tomorrow.
1427
01:24:15,358 --> 01:24:16,985
I probably won't be back
for a while.
1428
01:24:17,235 --> 01:24:18,611
What are you gonna do there?
1429
01:24:18,862 --> 01:24:21,156
I'm gonna work on
a fishing boat.
1430
01:24:31,499 --> 01:24:32,834
[sighing]
1431
01:24:33,126 --> 01:24:34,752
Yeah.
1432
01:24:35,003 --> 01:24:36,379
Just waiting for my mom now.
1433
01:24:36,629 --> 01:24:37,881
You know.
1434
01:24:38,840 --> 01:24:40,592
Taking a while.
1435
01:24:41,634 --> 01:24:45,138
Just want to put some
lipstick on, that's all.
1436
01:24:47,015 --> 01:24:49,893
Something simple girls do.
1437
01:24:55,857 --> 01:24:59,402
You have to take
this step, honey, I know.
1438
01:25:00,069 --> 01:25:01,321
You have to take this step.
1439
01:25:01,571 --> 01:25:03,156
I don't want you
to take this step,
1440
01:25:03,406 --> 01:25:04,949
I see no need.
1441
01:25:05,200 --> 01:25:08,870
You have a college education,
you're in New York.
1442
01:25:09,245 --> 01:25:12,832
I know we're in a pandemic,
1443
01:25:13,291 --> 01:25:15,835
but you still have
opportunities.
1444
01:25:17,003 --> 01:25:20,840
So I have to bear down
and accept it,
1445
01:25:21,883 --> 01:25:25,094
but I don't like it.
And I don't like it at all.
1446
01:25:25,345 --> 01:25:29,724
I don't understand why
you have to leave so quickly.
1447
01:25:30,767 --> 01:25:32,644
You want me
to wear the gloves, right?
1448
01:25:32,894 --> 01:25:34,312
Yes, I do.
1449
01:25:41,527 --> 01:25:44,405
Do you always have this
in the car with you?
1450
01:25:44,656 --> 01:25:47,158
I keep this on me.
I keep this in my purse.
1451
01:25:47,408 --> 01:25:50,286
But I didn't want
to carry my purse today.
1452
01:25:51,246 --> 01:25:54,249
I feel very funny, very...
1453
01:25:55,416 --> 01:25:57,252
Emotional.
1454
01:25:58,127 --> 01:25:59,504
Where you going, to Kennedy?
1455
01:25:59,754 --> 01:26:00,463
Yeah.
1456
01:26:00,713 --> 01:26:03,174
It's gonna take me...
1457
01:26:03,424 --> 01:26:05,551
And what if we run into traffic?
1458
01:26:05,802 --> 01:26:10,807
James, you're not running into
traffic, not unless somebody
1459
01:26:11,140 --> 01:26:13,851
who got drunk out
of their damn minds,
1460
01:26:15,853 --> 01:26:20,400
and had an accident this morning
trying to get home.
1461
01:26:22,151 --> 01:26:23,778
[car cruising]
1462
01:26:24,320 --> 01:26:26,030
You see anybody on this road?
1463
01:26:26,281 --> 01:26:26,906
No.
1464
01:26:27,240 --> 01:26:28,700
Uh hmm.
1465
01:26:34,497 --> 01:26:36,207
This ain't gonna go nowhere.
1466
01:26:36,457 --> 01:26:37,542
It is.
1467
01:26:49,554 --> 01:26:50,805
Don't freak out, honey.
1468
01:26:51,055 --> 01:26:52,849
I'm not freaking out, Mom.
1469
01:27:01,899 --> 01:27:02,984
It says what?
1470
01:27:03,234 --> 01:27:05,111
It's at 11 on the dot,
that I have to go.
1471
01:27:05,361 --> 01:27:06,821
I'm not gonna...
1472
01:27:07,238 --> 01:27:08,906
We left the house at 9 o'clock!
1473
01:27:09,157 --> 01:27:10,867
And then we took forever.
1474
01:27:11,117 --> 01:27:12,410
Forever to do what?
1475
01:27:12,660 --> 01:27:15,663
We shouldn't have left at 9.
We should've left...
1476
01:27:16,414 --> 01:27:20,418
James, we just gonna sit here
and have this fucking argument
1477
01:27:20,668 --> 01:27:24,297
that's not gonna mean
a damn thing?
1478
01:27:25,006 --> 01:27:27,592
Seriously? Okay.
1479
01:27:30,178 --> 01:27:32,555
This is absolute lock, Mom.
1480
01:27:35,016 --> 01:27:37,602
And it's not...
It's in less than an hour.
1481
01:27:37,852 --> 01:27:40,563
- Stop James.
- Mom, it's not stop. This is...
1482
01:27:40,813 --> 01:27:43,316
Okay, alright. Hey, alright.
1483
01:27:43,733 --> 01:27:46,361
I don't know
what else to say, honey.
1484
01:27:46,778 --> 01:27:49,113
I didn't cause
a five-car collision.
1485
01:27:49,364 --> 01:27:52,909
No Mom, but you are the reason
why we left so late!
1486
01:27:53,826 --> 01:27:56,954
So that flight is
definitely going out?
1487
01:27:57,205 --> 01:27:59,957
It's not like being pushed back?
1488
01:28:00,541 --> 01:28:02,710
That's the last one too?
1489
01:28:05,922 --> 01:28:08,508
But it's not gonna
change your life!
1490
01:28:08,758 --> 01:28:09,300
I know.
1491
01:28:09,550 --> 01:28:11,969
One day is not gonna
change your life.
1492
01:28:12,345 --> 01:28:15,223
And so what I'm saying
to you is that,
1493
01:28:15,473 --> 01:28:20,478
if you want to have longevity
in this world and be happy,
1494
01:28:21,145 --> 01:28:23,147
you gotta let shit go!
1495
01:28:23,398 --> 01:28:25,608
You just can't hold onto it.
1496
01:28:25,900 --> 01:28:29,112
Because I would have been
dead a long time ago.
1497
01:28:29,779 --> 01:28:34,409
Learn what battles to pick,
and what wars to fight.
1498
01:28:36,327 --> 01:28:38,079
You're going home and
1499
01:28:38,329 --> 01:28:39,914
you're gonna
take your flight in the morning,
1500
01:28:40,164 --> 01:28:44,001
whatever it costs you extra,
and I will reimburse you.
1501
01:28:44,252 --> 01:28:45,044
Okay?
1502
01:28:45,294 --> 01:28:46,129
Okay.
1503
01:28:46,629 --> 01:28:47,839
Alright, is this over?
1504
01:28:48,089 --> 01:28:49,173
Yeah.
1505
01:29:01,102 --> 01:29:04,355
What's the address
to the hospital?
1506
01:29:04,814 --> 01:29:08,776
Yes, it is gonna be
the left hip.
1507
01:29:11,279 --> 01:29:14,031
So I'm here at the hospital.
1508
01:29:14,991 --> 01:29:17,410
James is in Alaska.
1509
01:29:18,369 --> 01:29:20,580
I wish he was here.
1510
01:29:23,458 --> 01:29:26,878
But he planned this adventure
for such a long time,
1511
01:29:27,128 --> 01:29:29,464
almost seven years.
1512
01:29:31,716 --> 01:29:33,134
And...
1513
01:29:33,926 --> 01:29:39,724
I just didn't want to ask
him to stay for this operation.
1514
01:29:42,101 --> 01:29:45,897
I want him happy.
I want him to be very happy.
1515
01:29:48,858 --> 01:29:51,861
But if anything
do happen, son...
1516
01:29:53,529 --> 01:29:57,950
You remember Mama
loves you very, very much.
1517
01:29:58,743 --> 01:30:01,871
I will always love you.
1518
01:30:03,080 --> 01:30:06,834
And I will always be
in your heart.
1519
01:30:08,461 --> 01:30:09,462
Okay?
1520
01:30:13,299 --> 01:30:16,260
This is my baby, James!
1521
01:30:16,511 --> 01:30:18,554
See he's here with me.
1522
01:30:18,846 --> 01:30:20,348
[riffing]
1523
01:30:20,640 --> 01:30:22,016
Anyway.
1524
01:30:22,266 --> 01:30:24,477
And he doesn't know that
you've had the surgery, right?
1525
01:30:24,727 --> 01:30:27,146
No, he knows. He's called Dad.
1526
01:30:27,396 --> 01:30:31,526
It's gonna take me a month
to really heal where...
1527
01:30:31,776 --> 01:30:35,988
We're gonna get the action on
again, you know? But, yeah...
1528
01:30:37,073 --> 01:30:39,033
It takes time.
1529
01:30:39,283 --> 01:30:41,202
[laughter]
1530
01:30:42,078 --> 01:30:45,289
It takes time to get there.
But I'm there.
1531
01:30:46,707 --> 01:30:48,000
I'm there.
1532
01:30:48,709 --> 01:30:51,087
And I'm grateful you're here,
1533
01:30:52,672 --> 01:30:58,636
to at least make a recording
and document
1534
01:30:58,886 --> 01:31:01,973
what really has happened.
1535
01:31:03,975 --> 01:31:07,311
Because this is my life.
1536
01:31:18,447 --> 01:31:21,409
Well, I totally forgot
what I was saying,
1537
01:31:21,659 --> 01:31:26,247
but I know that I'm almost
coming to that full circle.
1538
01:31:27,415 --> 01:31:30,459
And it has to happen.
1539
01:31:30,793 --> 01:31:32,253
And it will.
1540
01:31:33,004 --> 01:31:37,466
And I'm feeling a little
proud of myself
1541
01:31:37,717 --> 01:31:39,927
because this time I'm ready.
1542
01:31:41,512 --> 01:31:43,097
So...
1543
01:31:43,389 --> 01:31:45,057
[laughter]
1544
01:31:45,725 --> 01:31:48,227
♪ Let's bring it on. ♪
1545
01:31:48,477 --> 01:31:49,562
[more laughter]
1546
01:31:49,854 --> 01:31:50,980
I'm ready.
1547
01:31:51,564 --> 01:31:55,610
Wrap it around, you have
something to attach to it
1548
01:31:55,860 --> 01:31:57,737
and you wear it as a belt.
1549
01:31:57,987 --> 01:31:59,697
Isn't that cool?
1550
01:32:00,031 --> 01:32:02,450
[laughter]
1551
01:32:02,825 --> 01:32:06,287
- But I still can't believe...
- Oh, she is so cool!
1552
01:32:06,537 --> 01:32:07,496
[laughter]
1553
01:32:07,747 --> 01:32:09,373
It's up to my ankles.
1554
01:32:09,624 --> 01:32:11,792
Oh little one,
I have to leave you.
1555
01:32:12,043 --> 01:32:14,295
I have to pick up somebody.
1556
01:32:15,087 --> 01:32:17,798
What time is it?
My goodness.
1557
01:32:19,050 --> 01:32:20,718
Maybe like 3:30.
1558
01:32:20,968 --> 01:32:22,720
Yeah, no, I have to get back
to Staten Island.
1559
01:32:22,970 --> 01:32:25,431
- Oh, 3:45.
- Yeah, I need to go.
1560
01:32:27,975 --> 01:32:29,602
[beeping]
1561
01:33:11,268 --> 01:33:13,396
[phone hangs up]
1562
01:33:17,858 --> 01:33:20,486
She went out
to the car at 6 o'clock
1563
01:33:20,736 --> 01:33:23,114
in the morning for some reason.
1564
01:33:24,031 --> 01:33:25,741
And, um...
1565
01:33:28,661 --> 01:33:31,831
To get something
out of the car I guess and...
1566
01:33:32,748 --> 01:33:35,876
On the way back up the,
she got up the steps
1567
01:33:36,210 --> 01:33:38,045
in front of the door,
1568
01:33:38,504 --> 01:33:41,924
managed to open
the door and fell.
1569
01:33:42,174 --> 01:33:43,843
Broke her...
1570
01:33:45,511 --> 01:33:47,430
Broke her leg.
1571
01:33:47,805 --> 01:33:51,559
And then she couldn't stand
on her own so they said,
1572
01:33:51,809 --> 01:33:53,728
"You have to go
to the hospital."
1573
01:33:53,978 --> 01:33:57,064
So they took her to...
1574
01:33:57,314 --> 01:34:00,526
To um, fix the leg.
1575
01:34:02,236 --> 01:34:03,696
And um...
1576
01:34:06,741 --> 01:34:10,453
Maybe that's when the infection
set in, I don't know.
1577
01:34:12,621 --> 01:34:16,625
So while she was in
the physical rehab,
1578
01:34:17,418 --> 01:34:19,086
her health started to decline
1579
01:34:19,336 --> 01:34:23,799
and they ultimately had to bring
her back into the hospital.
1580
01:34:24,049 --> 01:34:25,968
While in the hospital,
1581
01:34:26,218 --> 01:34:29,054
she was put into
a medically-induced coma,
1582
01:34:29,430 --> 01:34:34,268
and from there, things really
started to downwards spiral.
1583
01:34:35,895 --> 01:34:38,230
And then I think about
a week or so after that,
1584
01:34:38,481 --> 01:34:41,025
my aunt called me up and said
1585
01:34:41,275 --> 01:34:45,446
that I have to, I should
come back home because...
1586
01:34:46,197 --> 01:34:47,239
It's...
1587
01:34:47,615 --> 01:34:48,783
It's over.
1588
01:34:49,784 --> 01:34:51,827
It was sepsis.
1589
01:34:52,077 --> 01:34:55,206
But ultimately
it was doctor neglect.
1590
01:34:56,373 --> 01:35:01,170
You know, I think I told you
before in the past,
1591
01:35:01,504 --> 01:35:04,965
it's a common story for
women of color to die that way.
1592
01:35:05,216 --> 01:35:08,636
Of just complete neglect
or malpractice.
1593
01:35:10,596 --> 01:35:12,473
She's gone.
1594
01:35:22,274 --> 01:35:24,318
She's gone.
1595
01:35:30,783 --> 01:35:36,914
♪ I've been thinking, ♪
1596
01:35:37,790 --> 01:35:43,420
♪ of the things
you said to me yesterday. ♪
1597
01:35:45,840 --> 01:35:52,221
♪ I've been wondering, ♪
1598
01:35:52,680 --> 01:35:58,435
♪ if it meant
you're gonna go away. ♪
1599
01:36:01,856 --> 01:36:04,441
♪ Don't you know, ♪
1600
01:36:05,359 --> 01:36:07,903
♪ I love you so? ♪
1601
01:36:09,154 --> 01:36:13,784
♪ Drown your eyes in my light...♪
1602
01:36:15,870 --> 01:36:17,872
♪ He told me, ♪
1603
01:36:18,330 --> 01:36:20,916
♪ "I've seen it rise. ♪
1604
01:36:22,001 --> 01:36:23,127
♪ But, ♪
1605
01:36:23,460 --> 01:36:27,715
it always falls. ♪
1606
01:36:30,801 --> 01:36:36,015
♪ I've seen him come,
I've seen him go." ♪
1607
01:36:36,724 --> 01:36:43,689
♪ He said,"All things pass
into the night." ♪
1608
01:36:44,356 --> 01:36:50,029
♪ And I said, "Oh no, sir,
I must say wrong. ♪
1609
01:36:50,905 --> 01:36:57,536
♪ I must disagree.
Oh no, sir, I must say wrong. ♪
1610
01:36:58,829 --> 01:37:00,831
♪ Won't you listen to me?" ♪
1611
01:37:01,081 --> 01:37:03,375
♪ He told me, ♪
1612
01:37:03,959 --> 01:37:06,879
♪ "I've seen it all before. ♪
1613
01:37:08,464 --> 01:37:10,591
♪ I've been there. ♪
1614
01:37:11,383 --> 01:37:16,138
♪ I've seen my hopes and dreams
lying on the ground. ♪
1615
01:37:16,388 --> 01:37:21,602
♪ I've seen the sky
just begin to fall." ♪
1616
01:37:22,102 --> 01:37:29,360
♪ He said, "All things
pass into the night." ♪
1617
01:37:29,693 --> 01:37:35,741
♪ And I said, "Oh no, sir.
I must say wrong. ♪
1618
01:37:36,325 --> 01:37:42,748
♪ I must disagree. Oh no, sir,
I must say wrong. ♪
1619
01:37:44,166 --> 01:37:47,211
♪ Won't you listen to me?" ♪
1620
01:37:49,672 --> 01:37:52,299
♪ [music continues] ♪
1621
01:38:04,812 --> 01:38:08,482
♪ Goodbye horses, ♪
1622
01:38:09,108 --> 01:38:12,194
♪ I'm flying over you. ♪
1623
01:38:12,444 --> 01:38:16,365
♪ Goodbye horses, ♪
1624
01:38:16,615 --> 01:38:19,743
♪ I'm flying over you. ♪
1625
01:38:20,035 --> 01:38:23,831
♪ Goodbye horses, ♪
1626
01:38:24,248 --> 01:38:27,042
♪ I'm flying over you. ♪
1627
01:38:27,376 --> 01:38:31,130
♪ Goodbye horses, ♪
1628
01:38:31,714 --> 01:38:36,927
♪ I'm flying, flying,
flying over you. ♪
1629
01:38:37,761 --> 01:38:40,681
♪ [music continues] ♪
1630
01:38:50,065 --> 01:38:54,236
♪ Goodbye horses, ♪
1631
01:38:54,611 --> 01:38:57,489
♪ I'm flying over you. ♪
1632
01:38:57,740 --> 01:39:01,744
♪ Goodbye horses, ♪
1633
01:39:02,161 --> 01:39:05,039
♪ I'm flying over you. ♪
1634
01:39:05,330 --> 01:39:09,209
♪ Goodbye horses, ♪
1635
01:39:09,626 --> 01:39:12,421
♪ I'm flying over you. ♪
1636
01:39:12,796 --> 01:39:16,675
♪ Goodbye horses, ♪
1637
01:39:17,217 --> 01:39:22,014
♪ I'm flying, flying,
flying over you. ♪
1638
01:39:24,391 --> 01:39:27,436
♪ [harmonizing] ♪
1639
01:39:38,322 --> 01:39:39,198
Goodbye horses.
1640
01:39:39,448 --> 01:39:41,200
That's the real
Q Lazzarus, y'all.
1641
01:39:41,450 --> 01:39:43,535
And don't say I'm not.
1642
01:43:09,408 --> 01:43:12,077
Subtitling: Mistral Artist-NYC