1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:25,083 --> 00:00:27,041 Thanks a lot! 4 00:00:27,208 --> 00:00:29,250 Thanks! 5 00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:41,291 Thank you very much my dear audience, thanks! 6 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,125 Thank you for coming, very kind. 7 00:00:44,750 --> 00:00:47,083 I hope the applause goes to all of you 8 00:00:47,166 --> 00:00:49,166 thank you very much for coming. 9 00:00:55,250 --> 00:00:56,708 I see this section and I say: 10 00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:59,333 "today Bogotá was left without robbers, look." 11 00:01:02,583 --> 00:01:04,916 All of them are here in the theater and that's ok, 12 00:01:07,041 --> 00:01:09,166 and a very beautiful audience too, 13 00:01:09,250 --> 00:01:11,625 Well, the pretty ones were left out, but oh well, 14 00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:16,625 And I also see our beloved audience, 15 00:01:16,708 --> 00:01:19,000 Sir. good night, what is your name? Gabriel 16 00:01:19,083 --> 00:01:21,625 Mr. Gabriel, nobody grabs it like him, Mr. Gabriel. 17 00:01:25,958 --> 00:01:27,625 - What is the lady's name? - Sofía 18 00:01:27,708 --> 00:01:29,000 Sofía... 19 00:01:29,250 --> 00:01:32,166 the one that gives it at night and gives it during the day too. 20 00:01:36,166 --> 00:01:38,666 Above all, good afternoon, thank you again to all of you, 21 00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:41,333 - What is your name? - Roberto 22 00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:44,125 Don Roberto, welcome Don Roberto, 23 00:01:44,416 --> 00:01:48,125 You have like a parrot's name, welcome, dear. 24 00:01:50,333 --> 00:01:52,791 - And what is the grandma's name? - Adíela 25 00:01:53,041 --> 00:01:54,500 ¿Adíela or I will give it? 26 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,291 Mrs. Adiela. Where are you from? 27 00:02:00,125 --> 00:02:02,041 From Tolima and Mr. Roberto? 28 00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:05,666 From the coast and how did you meet? 29 00:02:06,458 --> 00:02:09,041 ¿Oh no? ¡Ah, you are with the other one! 30 00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:19,541 Damn Alzheimer's, 31 00:02:19,625 --> 00:02:22,250 the old man doesn't even know which one he came with. 32 00:02:24,541 --> 00:02:26,458 And these with the Colombian National Soccer Team jersey, 33 00:02:26,541 --> 00:02:29,500 Aren't they the ones who were taken out of Miami who were sneaking in? 34 00:02:32,375 --> 00:02:34,708 Hey, this seems like a meeting of deformed people, 35 00:02:34,791 --> 00:02:36,916 not a single pretty one this afternoon. 36 00:02:40,250 --> 00:02:42,833 A bald man came to a beauty salon and 37 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,000 “oh, sorry I made a mistake.” 38 00:02:47,875 --> 00:02:50,041 There was the louse father with the louse son 39 00:02:50,125 --> 00:02:52,208 on the head of a bald man. He said to him: 40 00:02:52,333 --> 00:02:55,791 “Look daddy, before this was paved it was a forest.” 41 00:03:00,541 --> 00:03:03,750 Why are men who have wives and mistress bald? 42 00:03:05,166 --> 00:03:06,625 Because they get home and the wife is like, 43 00:03:06,708 --> 00:03:08,166 “Get out of here, get out of here!” 44 00:03:08,541 --> 00:03:11,541 And they come to the mistress: “Come here” 45 00:03:13,625 --> 00:03:14,500 In the case of yourself, 46 00:03:14,583 --> 00:03:17,125 the girls next door because it is on the sides. 47 00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:24,333 Gabriel, Gabriel, nobody sucks it like him, Mr. Gabriel. 48 00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:29,958 ¿And Johnny? ¿You are Johnny? 49 00:03:30,041 --> 00:03:31,666 Johnny ¿And you? 50 00:03:31,750 --> 00:03:33,583 - Carlos. - Carlos. 51 00:03:35,125 --> 00:03:38,000 We need to greet them all because now with all this inclusion, 52 00:03:38,208 --> 00:03:41,250 I will include it to you and you include it to me too. 53 00:03:45,375 --> 00:03:47,458 I asked them “which one is active and which one is passive?” 54 00:03:47,541 --> 00:03:48,291 He said, “We don’t know 55 00:03:48,375 --> 00:03:50,708 because everything comes inside except accounting.” 56 00:03:54,583 --> 00:03:57,041 I met the president and he told me: “Ah, 57 00:03:58,375 --> 00:04:02,791 So you are the one that likes to tells stories” 58 00:04:05,583 --> 00:04:07,083 I said: “No, I am the one with the jokes, 59 00:04:07,166 --> 00:04:09,541 you are the one with the stories.” 60 00:04:16,250 --> 00:04:18,250 Oh no! 61 00:04:25,166 --> 00:04:28,541 And what is the lady's name? Your beautiful lady? 62 00:04:28,875 --> 00:04:30,166 Daisy? 63 00:04:30,666 --> 00:04:32,041 And you are from Paraguay? 64 00:04:32,208 --> 00:04:33,250 What a cool thing? 65 00:04:35,333 --> 00:04:37,291 - Are all three from Paraguay? - Yes 66 00:04:37,375 --> 00:04:40,458 But in Paraguay there are beautiful people. 67 00:04:41,458 --> 00:04:43,583 So why did they send you? 68 00:04:53,958 --> 00:04:58,041 Well, representing the beautiful people of Paraguay. 69 00:04:58,125 --> 00:05:00,625 An you are from Asunción? from Asunción? 70 00:05:01,916 --> 00:05:03,875 San José de los Arroyos, 71 00:05:04,250 --> 00:05:06,458 where the pamper that hole. 72 00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:10,708 That's great, welcome. 73 00:05:10,791 --> 00:05:13,458 We're going to treat you with a lot of love. 74 00:05:18,291 --> 00:05:19,375 Oh my God! 75 00:05:19,458 --> 00:05:21,333 Paraguay, a beautiful region too. 76 00:05:22,083 --> 00:05:25,166 There, no, is in Uruguay where the pointing one is, right? 77 00:05:25,250 --> 00:05:26,750 Have you met it? 78 00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:31,916 Or if not, you can take a picture of it. 79 00:05:38,125 --> 00:05:41,500 Speaking of international travel, once, on a cruise, 80 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:46,458 An old man was there, the old man was named... 81 00:05:46,541 --> 00:05:49,500 Did you know him too? 82 00:05:51,750 --> 00:05:55,333 So, on the cruise, there was a Cuban named Roberto. 83 00:05:55,750 --> 00:05:57,000 Roberto. 84 00:05:57,583 --> 00:06:01,166 I was there on the high seas, in the middle of the high seas, 85 00:06:01,250 --> 00:06:04,041 And the old man Roberto started to have chest pain. 86 00:06:04,166 --> 00:06:08,000 “Oh, my chest hurts, my chest hurts, that's a heart attack.” 87 00:06:08,125 --> 00:06:11,708 “I'm going to die... Nurses, nurses, doctors.” 88 00:06:12,625 --> 00:06:13,458 Nothing. 89 00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:17,916 “Oh, my last wish is to say goodbye to Cuba.” 90 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,833 “I want to kiss a Cuban flag. 91 00:06:19,916 --> 00:06:21,125 Who can give me a Cuban flag?” 92 00:06:21,208 --> 00:06:23,708 Let's see, props, who has a Cuban flag? Nobody. 93 00:06:23,916 --> 00:06:26,791 And a girl as pretty as the young lady over there, told him... 94 00:06:28,125 --> 00:06:29,416 “Well, I have a Cuban flag, 95 00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:31,125 but I have it tattooed here on my buttock.” 96 00:06:31,208 --> 00:06:33,166 “It works for me, miss, it works for me.” 97 00:06:33,875 --> 00:06:35,875 The lady showed it to him and he was stuck to that butt cheek. 98 00:06:35,958 --> 00:06:37,666 “Goodbye, my beloved Cuba.” 99 00:06:37,833 --> 00:06:41,333 “I will never see you again, my dear Cuba.” 100 00:06:41,416 --> 00:06:43,958 “Goodbye, my beloved Cuba.” 101 00:06:44,125 --> 00:06:46,333 “Miss, do me a favor, could you turn around?” 102 00:06:46,416 --> 00:06:47,458 - She said: - "And what is that for?" 103 00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:50,041 “I need to say goodbye to Fidel.” 104 00:06:55,625 --> 00:06:58,500 I wanted to say thank you very much again for coming. 105 00:06:58,583 --> 00:07:00,208 Let me introduce myself, my name is Don Jediondo. 106 00:07:00,291 --> 00:07:02,833 I come from a very nice town. which is called Sutamarchan. 107 00:07:02,958 --> 00:07:05,750 although I was originally born in Germany, in a town called... 108 00:07:10,041 --> 00:07:11,916 I don't understand the laughter, my lady. 109 00:07:15,416 --> 00:07:16,958 - Are you married? - Yes 110 00:07:17,208 --> 00:07:19,625 How many years have they been married? 15 Years 111 00:07:19,791 --> 00:07:21,041 And you still talk to each other? 112 00:07:26,791 --> 00:07:29,041 15 years of marriage. 113 00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:32,541 Well, after 15 years being intimate, still... 114 00:07:33,250 --> 00:07:34,750 Do you still feel the energy? 115 00:07:40,875 --> 00:07:44,125 Say, the power is down, but the pole is down, but... 116 00:07:50,791 --> 00:07:52,166 oh well... 117 00:07:52,291 --> 00:07:53,750 I was dancing with an old lady 118 00:07:53,833 --> 00:07:55,541 here to that thing they call reggaeton. 119 00:07:55,750 --> 00:07:58,625 “Break the egg with that mixer” 120 00:07:59,166 --> 00:08:01,666 And the old woman let out a little gas. “Prrrr” 121 00:08:03,375 --> 00:08:04,291 She said: “Oh, Don Jediondo, 122 00:08:04,375 --> 00:08:05,833 I would like this to remain between the two of us.” 123 00:08:05,916 --> 00:08:08,375 I said: “What, between the two of us? Let that shit out!” 124 00:08:10,875 --> 00:08:12,166 We were very poor. 125 00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:14,666 Our furniture was painted on the wall. 126 00:08:16,291 --> 00:08:19,250 One day the thieves came and erased them. 127 00:08:27,208 --> 00:08:28,500 I had an aunt who... 128 00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:32,500 She was into prostitution for a while, the old lady. 129 00:08:33,750 --> 00:08:36,416 She retired when she found out that the others were getting paid 130 00:08:44,541 --> 00:08:47,083 I do have a very peculiar family. Well, 131 00:08:47,166 --> 00:08:50,375 peculiar my cousins, the ones who live there in Sutamarchán. 132 00:08:52,916 --> 00:08:54,875 And bad news, because being poor and all, 133 00:08:54,958 --> 00:08:57,041 we end up allergic to aguapanela. 134 00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:04,625 We didn't have milk teeth, but teeth made of aguapanela. 135 00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:07,916 But we were so poor that grandma died 136 00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:11,541 and we had to do a raffle so we could bury her. 137 00:09:11,708 --> 00:09:14,333 Seriously, we were very poor, seriously. 138 00:09:14,666 --> 00:09:17,708 Grandma was already on her last legs there, the old lady. 139 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,041 “I want to shit” 140 00:09:26,125 --> 00:09:27,750 You want coffee? 141 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,833 Yes, but I want to shit first. 142 00:09:31,541 --> 00:09:34,041 Grandma Daisy, what is your last wish? 143 00:09:34,625 --> 00:09:36,916 “I want to get a really good fuck.” 144 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,166 “I want to get a really good fuck.” 145 00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:41,166 but, who do we call? 146 00:09:41,250 --> 00:09:43,541 Come, Edwin, they called the dark-skinned one, come. 147 00:09:46,250 --> 00:09:47,958 Look, grandma, her last will 148 00:09:48,041 --> 00:09:50,833 That Edwin was there for an hour with the old lady. 149 00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:53,125 And when she finished, the old lady said again: 150 00:09:53,208 --> 00:09:55,291 “I want to get a really good fuck.” 151 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:59,541 And now, who do we call? Come on, Enrique, you do it... 152 00:09:59,875 --> 00:10:01,708 Again, Enrique there and the old lady. 153 00:10:01,833 --> 00:10:04,083 “I want to get a really good fuck.” 154 00:10:04,541 --> 00:10:06,541 Let's call Johnny. Oh no, that one doesn’t work. 155 00:10:13,083 --> 00:10:16,250 I go with the other Edwin, it doesn't matter. 156 00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:20,000 And Edwin came another hour there and the old lady: 157 00:10:20,083 --> 00:10:22,416 “I want to get a really good fuck.” 158 00:10:22,583 --> 00:10:25,458 No, but this old lady, well, they put the fake teeth on her. 159 00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:27,000 Let's see, what are you saying? 160 00:10:27,166 --> 00:10:29,125 I want to eat a good duck. 161 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,666 A really poor old lady was called Consuelo. 162 00:10:43,458 --> 00:10:46,625 But old Consuelo had really bad luck. 163 00:10:47,166 --> 00:10:50,000 He bought a vibrator and it turned out to be gey. 164 00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:59,208 A young lady with such a bad luck, but such a bad luck, 165 00:10:59,291 --> 00:11:01,958 she got a Sugar Daddy and ended up being poor. 166 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,208 There was an old couple. 167 00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:09,208 The old man was called Roberto, just to name a name. 168 00:11:10,166 --> 00:11:12,291 And the old lady Mrs Adiela. 169 00:11:15,291 --> 00:11:16,583 And then one day 170 00:11:16,666 --> 00:11:19,500 the old man showed up with his cheek purple like this. 171 00:11:19,916 --> 00:11:22,666 They told him “Bla-bla-bla” 172 00:11:31,166 --> 00:11:36,750 Roberto, and why is that cheek all purple? 173 00:11:37,083 --> 00:11:39,791 Roberto said: “It's Viagra's fault.” 174 00:11:40,625 --> 00:11:42,375 He said: “Did Viagra make you feel sick, 175 00:11:42,458 --> 00:11:43,958 did your blood pressure go up?” 176 00:11:44,250 --> 00:11:47,416 He said: “No, is that since I'm taking Viagra, 177 00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,875 Adiela squeezes my cheek and says, 178 00:11:49,958 --> 00:11:52,083 “Who makes me so happy? 179 00:11:56,708 --> 00:11:58,291 Those grandmothers are wonderful. 180 00:11:58,375 --> 00:12:00,291 The grandmother walked through the middle of the room and then... 181 00:12:00,375 --> 00:12:03,291 “Prrr-prrr-prrr-prrr-prrr” 182 00:12:04,250 --> 00:12:05,083 Don Roberto tells her: 183 00:12:05,166 --> 00:12:06,750 “Since you have change, change me this one.” 184 00:12:06,833 --> 00:12:08,791 “Prrrrr” 185 00:12:12,916 --> 00:12:15,625 The old man arrived and said to the old woman: 186 00:12:15,875 --> 00:12:17,291 “I’m going down to the first floor, 187 00:12:17,375 --> 00:12:19,791 You want me to bring up something Adiela?” 188 00:12:19,875 --> 00:12:21,541 And the old lady... 189 00:12:22,041 --> 00:12:23,416 Yes, look... 190 00:12:25,250 --> 00:12:28,708 Throw me some... some cereal 191 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,875 with banana, please. 192 00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:31,875 And the old man... 193 00:12:31,958 --> 00:12:35,708 - “But write it down!” - She said, no... I will remember. 194 00:12:35,791 --> 00:12:37,125 Remember the doctor said you have 195 00:12:37,208 --> 00:12:39,041 to write down everything because of the Alzheimer. 196 00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:40,916 He said, ¡I will remember! 197 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:45,333 And add some of those strawberries I have in the fridge, 198 00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:46,541 add a little bit. 199 00:12:46,625 --> 00:12:48,375 He said, strawberries. But write them down! 200 00:12:48,458 --> 00:12:49,750 He said, I will not forget! 201 00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:53,125 Cereal and banana and strawberries, I won't forget. 202 00:12:53,208 --> 00:12:55,000 And the old lady, "But write it down!" 203 00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:57,125 Said, "I won't forget it.". 204 00:12:58,333 --> 00:13:02,625 And look, there in the fridge I have a little bit of sour cream, 205 00:13:02,708 --> 00:13:05,291 put it over it too. But take note! 206 00:13:05,375 --> 00:13:07,500 He said: I will not forget. 207 00:13:07,583 --> 00:13:11,500 And I know, cereal, banana, strawberries and sour cream, 208 00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:13,291 I am not going to forget that 209 00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:14,083 Ah, look, 210 00:13:14,166 --> 00:13:17,541 and sprinkle on top a little bit of grated coconut that 211 00:13:17,625 --> 00:13:19,333 I have there in the fridge. 212 00:13:20,083 --> 00:13:23,166 - But write it down! - He said, I won't forget it. 213 00:13:23,250 --> 00:13:25,125 But the doctor said to write everything down. 214 00:13:25,208 --> 00:13:27,708 He said, I won't forget it because of Alzheimer's. 215 00:13:29,083 --> 00:13:30,083 And that is it, he left... 216 00:13:30,166 --> 00:13:31,833 - Roberto! - he said, what happened Adiela? 217 00:13:31,916 --> 00:13:36,166 And throw in some raisins. But take note! 218 00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,166 He said, I won't forget. 219 00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:42,125 Cereal, banana, strawberries, sour cream, grated coconut 220 00:13:42,250 --> 00:13:45,458 and raisins on top and that's it, I won't forget. 221 00:13:45,791 --> 00:13:48,166 - But write it down! - He said, I won't forget. 222 00:13:48,416 --> 00:13:49,833 And the old man went down. 223 00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:53,625 After a while he came up with two fried eggs. 224 00:13:58,958 --> 00:14:01,750 And the old lady tells him, this old idiot. 225 00:14:02,750 --> 00:14:06,041 For not writing, where are the beans I asked for? 226 00:14:18,250 --> 00:14:20,833 Another old lady arrived. 227 00:14:20,958 --> 00:14:24,166 The lady was calling Mrs. Ligia. Is that her name? 228 00:14:24,583 --> 00:14:26,041 And what was the son's name? 229 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,500 What was the son's name? 230 00:14:29,291 --> 00:14:30,750 David, and the son-in-law? 231 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:35,208 Jairo. Let's put Jairo, as he is the most intelligent. 232 00:14:37,541 --> 00:14:38,833 It turns out that Mrs. Ligia 233 00:14:38,916 --> 00:14:40,791 was enrolled in an Alzheimer's club. 234 00:14:40,916 --> 00:14:42,250 So... 235 00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:45,041 They had a meeting next Friday. 236 00:14:45,166 --> 00:14:47,000 And she said to his son-in-law: 237 00:14:47,166 --> 00:14:49,250 “Let me tell you that we are having a meeting?” 238 00:14:49,333 --> 00:14:50,833 meeting of what, mother-in-law? 239 00:14:50,916 --> 00:14:52,333 “From the Alzheimer's club. 240 00:14:52,416 --> 00:14:55,291 Next Friday at 3 pm and all the ladies are going 241 00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:57,875 to come, 18 ladies.” 242 00:14:57,958 --> 00:14:59,833 Oh, how nice, old lady! 243 00:14:59,916 --> 00:15:01,208 And at what time is the meeting? 244 00:15:01,291 --> 00:15:02,000 “of what?” 245 00:15:02,125 --> 00:15:04,208 of... 246 00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:06,750 of... About the Alzheimer's club. 247 00:15:06,916 --> 00:15:07,875 “When is that?” 248 00:15:07,958 --> 00:15:10,500 No, you were telling me it's Friday. 249 00:15:11,041 --> 00:15:13,708 “So, I need to organize the snacks.” 250 00:15:13,791 --> 00:15:15,541 Come on, mother-in-law, I'll help you to organize. 251 00:15:15,625 --> 00:15:18,041 - "What thing?" - Well, about the meeting. 252 00:15:19,958 --> 00:15:21,666 I'm going to write it down on a piece 253 00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:23,916 of paper and leave it on the fridge. 254 00:15:24,625 --> 00:15:25,916 She came and put it in the fridge. 255 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,791 First, coffee. 256 00:15:27,875 --> 00:15:30,375 Second, tea. Third, snacks. 257 00:15:30,541 --> 00:15:32,750 Fourth, fruit. And last, coffee. 258 00:15:33,375 --> 00:15:35,416 The old lady went to the fridge. 259 00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:37,666 First point, give coffee. 260 00:15:38,083 --> 00:15:41,416 She would go and bring all her friends coffee, coffee. 261 00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:44,958 And they were all happy. She returned to the refrigerator. 262 00:15:45,708 --> 00:15:47,916 First point, give coffee. 263 00:15:53,041 --> 00:15:55,708 “¡Ay, Have some coffee!” 264 00:15:56,666 --> 00:15:59,458 “¡Ay, Roberto is here! ¡Very well, have some coffee!” 265 00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:01,500 “¡Ay, Aleida came! ¡Here coffee!” 266 00:16:02,333 --> 00:16:04,958 They had already been in the meeting for three hours and again. 267 00:16:06,041 --> 00:16:08,750 First point, give coffee. 268 00:16:08,833 --> 00:16:10,541 “Hey, you haven't had coffee! 269 00:16:10,625 --> 00:16:12,250 Have a little coffee! 270 00:16:13,708 --> 00:16:15,208 At eight o’clock at night. 271 00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:18,791 “First point, give coffee. 272 00:16:19,291 --> 00:16:21,875 “Have a cup of coffee!” She filled them with coffee. 273 00:16:22,125 --> 00:16:24,166 At nine o'clock at night, the old women left. 274 00:16:24,291 --> 00:16:26,375 And the son-in-law, whose name was Jairo, arrived. 275 00:16:27,416 --> 00:16:28,750 What's up, mother-in-law? 276 00:16:28,875 --> 00:16:30,000 What's up, son? 277 00:16:30,125 --> 00:16:31,291 - How did it go? - Where? 278 00:16:31,375 --> 00:16:33,333 At the Alzheimer's club meeting. 279 00:16:34,250 --> 00:16:36,583 And he went there and saw everything served. 280 00:16:36,666 --> 00:16:38,416 “old lady, but you didn’t give them any snacks, 281 00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:39,875 or fruit, or anything!” 282 00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:42,125 Se said, what? Those old ladies didn't even come! 283 00:16:47,708 --> 00:16:49,708 And the friends left saying: 284 00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:52,625 Ah, that Ligia is so ungrateful, she didn't even give us coffee! 285 00:17:04,416 --> 00:17:06,083 I was coming from Tunja sitting there... 286 00:17:07,416 --> 00:17:09,500 And there was in front of me a lady with a child, 287 00:17:09,583 --> 00:17:11,500 a very pretty lady, like as... 288 00:17:12,250 --> 00:17:14,416 Pretty the lady, pretty. 289 00:17:16,166 --> 00:17:17,750 And a lady sitting in front of me, 290 00:17:17,833 --> 00:17:20,416 a pretty lady, as I was saying, with a baby. 291 00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:23,291 And the baby started to cry. “meeeh” 292 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,958 The lady took out the portable restaurant 293 00:17:27,041 --> 00:17:28,125 and I was in front. 294 00:17:28,291 --> 00:17:30,041 And she said: “Listen dear, 295 00:17:30,333 --> 00:17:31,541 receive the boob and if not 296 00:17:31,625 --> 00:17:33,666 I will give it to the man in front of me.” 297 00:17:34,083 --> 00:17:37,791 That was when I left Tunja. And I was barely able to swallow. 298 00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:41,625 We were passing by the front, 299 00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:44,583 of Boyaca’s bridge, and the baby again. “meeeh” 300 00:17:44,666 --> 00:17:46,125 And the lady, listen dear, 301 00:17:46,208 --> 00:17:47,250 receive the boob and if not 302 00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:49,250 I will give it to the man in front of me 303 00:17:49,333 --> 00:17:51,750 And I said, "Oh, I hope he doesn't receive it,". 304 00:17:53,250 --> 00:17:55,375 Passing by Villapinzón. “meeeh” 305 00:17:55,458 --> 00:17:57,000 Listen dear, receive the boob 306 00:17:57,083 --> 00:17:58,791 and if not I will give it to the man in front of me. 307 00:18:00,416 --> 00:18:02,541 Passing by Chocontá. “meeeh” 308 00:18:02,625 --> 00:18:04,375 Listen dear, receive the boob 309 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,000 and if not I will give it to the man in front of me. 310 00:18:06,083 --> 00:18:08,416 And I'm just barely drooling over here. 311 00:18:09,333 --> 00:18:11,166 Arriving to Bogotá. “meeeh” 312 00:18:11,250 --> 00:18:12,666 Listen dear, receive the boob 313 00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:14,750 and if not I will give it to the man in front of me. 314 00:18:14,833 --> 00:18:15,958 So I said, “listen lady, 315 00:18:16,333 --> 00:18:18,458 Please do me a favor and tell the boy to make up his mind 316 00:18:18,541 --> 00:18:20,791 because I should have gotten off in Villapinzón.” 317 00:18:28,291 --> 00:18:29,875 Us arriving to Bogotá. 318 00:18:29,958 --> 00:18:31,458 Bogotá always makes you feel 319 00:18:31,541 --> 00:18:33,000 atrophied because of its size. 320 00:18:33,083 --> 00:18:34,750 From a town of four thousand people 321 00:18:34,833 --> 00:18:36,625 to a city of ten million people. 322 00:18:36,708 --> 00:18:37,750 That is a real thing. 323 00:18:37,833 --> 00:18:40,750 The first thing I saw was one of those big tube, a long tube. 324 00:18:40,833 --> 00:18:42,125 And I said to her, Honey, what does it look like? 325 00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:43,916 She said, “Oh, don't exaggerate now.” Well... 326 00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:50,166 When we were in Bogotá, in the center, we got robbed. 327 00:18:50,250 --> 00:18:54,708 There were about 17 thieves wearing the national team shirts. 328 00:18:56,875 --> 00:19:00,458 We had left with the truck, the jewelry, everything. 329 00:19:00,541 --> 00:19:01,791 They took everything. 330 00:19:01,875 --> 00:19:04,208 I said to my lady, Ms. Openwidelegs. 331 00:19:04,291 --> 00:19:09,125 Ah, what hurts me the most is that they took the jewels. 332 00:19:09,458 --> 00:19:11,333 She said: no, dear, the jewels were not taken. 333 00:19:11,416 --> 00:19:13,375 She said: I took them off and put them in there. 334 00:19:14,958 --> 00:19:17,666 I told her, well, we should have brought your mom. 335 00:19:19,333 --> 00:19:23,750 She said: Why? I said, so that we would have hidden the truck. 336 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:28,833 Thank you, very kind. 337 00:19:34,416 --> 00:19:36,333 A doctor was passing through a town. 338 00:19:36,666 --> 00:19:37,625 The town was called 339 00:19:37,708 --> 00:19:39,541 San José of the Hole, or something like that. 340 00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:44,000 That's far from here, that is like in another country. 341 00:19:46,125 --> 00:19:48,708 The doctor was driving and he entered a gas station. 342 00:19:48,791 --> 00:19:51,291 Welcome to the San José de los Arroyos gas station. 343 00:19:51,375 --> 00:19:53,000 And the man: “Oh, well, I'm going to fill up.” 344 00:19:54,166 --> 00:19:56,208 He said, “boy, sell me some gas.” 345 00:19:56,333 --> 00:19:57,708 He said, “no, is not possible.” 346 00:19:57,791 --> 00:19:59,750 He said, “why?” He said, “because... 347 00:20:00,083 --> 00:20:02,208 the owner's daughter, Dr. Daisy, died.” 348 00:20:02,291 --> 00:20:04,625 He said, “no.” 349 00:20:07,791 --> 00:20:08,833 Really, he said, “yes. 350 00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:10,791 The owner's daughter died and they're at the memorial service.” 351 00:20:10,875 --> 00:20:11,833 He said, “but she was very young.” 352 00:20:11,916 --> 00:20:13,208 He said, “yes, but she died.” 353 00:20:13,416 --> 00:20:14,458 He said, “look, I'm a doctor. 354 00:20:14,541 --> 00:20:16,875 I want to see her. I want to see the body.” 355 00:20:17,166 --> 00:20:19,458 He said, “you'll see, but the girl is dead.” 356 00:20:19,541 --> 00:20:21,166 And he went to look at the coffin. 357 00:20:21,250 --> 00:20:23,708 And they had her like this in the coffin. 358 00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:27,791 Then the doctor saw her and said: “Mrs. Daisy is not dead.” 359 00:20:27,875 --> 00:20:29,416 He said: Really? He said: “No.” 360 00:20:29,958 --> 00:20:31,083 “There is steam there. 361 00:20:31,166 --> 00:20:34,583 I think she is having a cataleptic attack.” 362 00:20:34,875 --> 00:20:36,458 He said: “Really.” He said: “Yes, what we need 363 00:20:36,541 --> 00:20:38,375 is a very strong emotion. 364 00:20:38,750 --> 00:20:40,958 You have to call her boyfriend or someone who will make love to her 365 00:20:41,041 --> 00:20:42,500 and she will come back to life.” 366 00:20:42,916 --> 00:20:43,875 He said: “Let’s call Carlos.” 367 00:20:43,958 --> 00:20:45,916 He said: “No, He is a faggot.” 368 00:20:47,541 --> 00:20:49,291 Then let’s call Edwin again. 369 00:20:55,250 --> 00:20:57,791 Edwin: “Are you the boyfriend?” He said: “No, but I will give it a try.” 370 00:20:57,875 --> 00:20:59,833 So, go for it. 371 00:21:01,875 --> 00:21:03,416 They took Mrs. Daisy out of the coffin 372 00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:05,166 and put her in there with the boyfriend. 373 00:21:05,375 --> 00:21:07,583 After ten minutes she began to open her eyes 374 00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:08,458 and came back to life. 375 00:21:08,541 --> 00:21:10,041 Well, of course, with that transfusion 376 00:21:11,791 --> 00:21:13,750 The girl came back to life. 377 00:21:14,458 --> 00:21:16,375 The town was happy, they all celebrated. 378 00:21:16,458 --> 00:21:17,166 “Thank you, doctor.” 379 00:21:17,250 --> 00:21:19,125 He said: “You see that was a cataleptic attack, 380 00:21:19,208 --> 00:21:20,416 the girl wasn't dead.” 381 00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:21,541 Well, he left. 382 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,041 About two months and three days later 383 00:21:24,125 --> 00:21:25,583 he came back o the town called 384 00:21:25,666 --> 00:21:27,208 San José de los Arroyos again. 385 00:21:28,708 --> 00:21:32,166 Welcome to your gas station, San José de los Arroyos. 386 00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:34,541 And the doctor again. 387 00:21:34,625 --> 00:21:35,583 He said: “Oh, I'm going to fill up my tank 388 00:21:35,666 --> 00:21:37,333 and I'll also ask how the girl is doing.” 389 00:21:37,625 --> 00:21:39,916 “Boy, sell me some fuel.” He said: “It's not possible.” 390 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,750 - He said: “Why?” - “Because we're in mourning.” 391 00:21:41,833 --> 00:21:44,000 He said: “Did Daisy die again?” He said: “No... 392 00:21:45,375 --> 00:21:48,500 Daisy's father died.” 393 00:21:48,583 --> 00:21:52,541 The doctor said: “I want to see the corpse.” 394 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,375 And the boy said: “Don't even try... 395 00:21:57,666 --> 00:22:00,583 Half of the town already gave him in the ass and he hasn't resuscitated.” 396 00:22:19,041 --> 00:22:20,625 The old man, Grandpa Givemesomeass, 397 00:22:20,708 --> 00:22:23,208 Givemesomeass Enrique is the old man's name. 398 00:22:25,291 --> 00:22:28,250 He died electrocuted. It turns out that at that time... 399 00:22:28,625 --> 00:22:31,291 the television antenna had to be squared up on the roof. 400 00:22:31,500 --> 00:22:34,166 “Who do we call?” No, well send the old faggot Enrique, 401 00:22:34,250 --> 00:22:35,833 so he went up there. 402 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,291 And while squaring the antenna 403 00:22:38,375 --> 00:22:40,500 he hit the high-tension light cords 404 00:22:40,875 --> 00:22:42,708 and the old man was electrocuted there. 405 00:22:42,791 --> 00:22:43,875 Stuck to the antenna. 406 00:22:44,375 --> 00:22:45,291 That was 20 years ago. 407 00:22:45,375 --> 00:22:47,875 We haven't taken it down because the signal will go bad 408 00:22:55,125 --> 00:22:57,583 There are even Paraguayan channels coming in through there. 409 00:23:02,541 --> 00:23:04,291 We were a very nice family. 410 00:23:04,375 --> 00:23:08,083 There were 18 of us siblings and my mom, that is, 19 in total. 411 00:23:08,958 --> 00:23:11,375 So we said, 19 is a lot. Then 412 00:23:11,541 --> 00:23:14,000 my mom thought, why don't we marry the older sister? 413 00:23:14,083 --> 00:23:16,708 She said: “Let's marry her. The older sister was called... 414 00:23:22,416 --> 00:23:23,708 Daisy." 415 00:23:30,416 --> 00:23:34,666 Daisy, by accident she was born in San José de los Arroyos. 416 00:23:38,166 --> 00:23:40,333 You are now famous. 417 00:23:42,250 --> 00:23:44,208 Just relax and have fun honey. 418 00:23:45,625 --> 00:23:47,541 Okay, “So let’s marry Daisy.” 419 00:23:47,625 --> 00:23:50,791 Within 9 months, there were 22 of us in the same bed. 420 00:23:53,416 --> 00:23:56,750 The groom, the man who wanted to marry Daisy. 421 00:23:57,250 --> 00:23:59,500 He said, “Okay, I’m marrying Daisy.” 422 00:24:00,833 --> 00:24:03,333 But we have to do the plate test. 423 00:24:04,041 --> 00:24:07,708 What is it? He said, “I need to know if Daisy is a virgin. 424 00:24:13,625 --> 00:24:16,416 Or if they already popped that avocado.” 425 00:24:18,083 --> 00:24:19,666 He said, “So what is the plate test?” 426 00:24:20,041 --> 00:24:22,083 He said, “She has to sit on a plate. 427 00:24:23,125 --> 00:24:24,875 If a bubble comes out, 428 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,333 then she’s not a virgin anymore. 429 00:24:26,416 --> 00:24:27,708 So then I will think about it.” 430 00:24:27,875 --> 00:24:30,208 “If no bubble comes out, then she is a virgin.” 431 00:24:30,333 --> 00:24:31,083 He said, “Well, let’s do it.” 432 00:24:31,166 --> 00:24:33,375 We got one of those bathing dishes that kids use. 433 00:24:33,458 --> 00:24:35,083 A big plastic thing. 434 00:24:35,166 --> 00:24:37,541 Because Daisy is rather robust. 435 00:24:39,291 --> 00:24:40,416 We had to sit Daisy there. 436 00:24:40,500 --> 00:24:43,125 Oh my God, I hope she won’t blow any bubbles! 437 00:24:44,875 --> 00:24:48,208 And we sat her down. No, that shit looked like a hot spring. 438 00:24:54,541 --> 00:24:56,666 The neighboring town was really dangerous, really! 439 00:24:56,750 --> 00:24:58,916 How dangerous was the town? There was a shooting. 440 00:24:59,375 --> 00:25:01,791 And a lady bent down and they raped her. No! 441 00:25:07,666 --> 00:25:09,458 We had little animals, pets. 442 00:25:09,541 --> 00:25:10,958 There in the town we had a horse, 443 00:25:11,041 --> 00:25:12,958 but it was lazy, that horse. 444 00:25:13,458 --> 00:25:14,541 You would bring the chair over to it 445 00:25:14,625 --> 00:25:16,083 and the bastard would sit down. 446 00:25:20,166 --> 00:25:22,583 Speaking of horses, there was a very nice couple 447 00:25:22,666 --> 00:25:26,333 who had two children. 448 00:25:26,791 --> 00:25:30,916 I mean, they had twins. A couple, well. 449 00:25:31,375 --> 00:25:32,916 And it turns out that they saw 450 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:36,041 a child who was six months that he would cry. “meeh” 451 00:25:36,125 --> 00:25:37,833 And the other one didn't cry. 452 00:25:40,083 --> 00:25:43,041 One year and the baby was already talking. “Pa-pa” 453 00:25:43,125 --> 00:25:44,666 And the other one... 454 00:25:45,208 --> 00:25:46,500 didn't talk at all. 455 00:25:46,833 --> 00:25:48,375 Two years and one talked. 456 00:25:48,458 --> 00:25:51,958 One talked more than Hernán, but it was impressive. 457 00:25:52,250 --> 00:25:54,333 “Daddy, mommy, let's play” 458 00:25:54,416 --> 00:25:56,375 And the other baby didn't talk. 459 00:26:02,416 --> 00:26:03,583 One day the dad came and said: 460 00:26:03,666 --> 00:26:05,166 “Someone recommended 461 00:26:05,250 --> 00:26:08,166 that we do a horse therapy to see if the child can talk?” 462 00:26:08,333 --> 00:26:09,625 Oh, so cute! Really. 463 00:26:09,708 --> 00:26:11,208 He said: “Yes.” she said: “Take him.” 464 00:26:11,291 --> 00:26:12,750 He took him to the field. 465 00:26:13,541 --> 00:26:15,666 When the boy saw a horse, 466 00:26:15,750 --> 00:26:17,833 he came and said: “Dumb horse!” 467 00:26:17,916 --> 00:26:19,000 Oh, no! 468 00:26:19,083 --> 00:26:22,791 The father took the cell phone and called the mother. 469 00:26:22,958 --> 00:26:26,250 “My beautiful love! My life! Miracle! Miracle!” 470 00:26:26,333 --> 00:26:28,166 She said: “What happened?” He said: “Miracle! 471 00:26:28,250 --> 00:26:30,708 The boy spoke. The therapy worked.” 472 00:26:30,791 --> 00:26:33,166 “The therapy and the horses and the field worked. 473 00:26:33,250 --> 00:26:35,958 The boy spoke. The boy spoke.” 474 00:26:36,041 --> 00:26:37,500 “Yes? What did he say?” 475 00:26:37,583 --> 00:26:39,541 He said: “Dumb horse.” 476 00:26:39,750 --> 00:26:43,250 She said: “Dumb horse, you who took the boy who speaks.” 477 00:26:52,291 --> 00:26:53,708 Some friends brought me from Paraguay, 478 00:26:53,791 --> 00:26:57,000 they brought me some flavored condoms. 479 00:26:58,333 --> 00:26:59,791 So I went and said to my wife, 480 00:26:59,875 --> 00:27:01,458 Mrs. Openwidelegs, “What do you think?” 481 00:27:01,541 --> 00:27:02,458 She said: “What happened? 482 00:27:02,625 --> 00:27:05,833 “Some friends from Paraguay, Daisy’s friends, they brought me... 483 00:27:06,666 --> 00:27:08,125 some flavored condoms.” 484 00:27:08,208 --> 00:27:09,083 She said: “Oh! I want to try.” 485 00:27:09,166 --> 00:27:11,333 I said: “No, but you can touch under the blanket.” 486 00:27:12,125 --> 00:27:13,958 We got under the blanket. 487 00:27:14,041 --> 00:27:15,416 I turned off the light. 488 00:27:15,833 --> 00:27:17,875 She said: “Oh! This tasted like cheese.” 489 00:27:17,958 --> 00:27:20,250 I said: “Wait, I haven’t put it on yet.” 490 00:27:26,583 --> 00:27:28,166 Once in a bathroom 491 00:27:28,875 --> 00:27:31,916 I was peeing there with the beast. 492 00:27:33,250 --> 00:27:35,291 With the unsustainable, right? 493 00:27:36,041 --> 00:27:37,875 With the invertebrate. 494 00:27:38,708 --> 00:27:41,000 With my toll cane there. 495 00:27:41,791 --> 00:27:44,208 With my retaining cane. With my telescope because 496 00:27:44,291 --> 00:27:45,791 it makes you see stars. 497 00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:49,291 With the veiny one there. 498 00:27:51,458 --> 00:27:53,791 And a hunchbacked old man came like this. 499 00:27:55,416 --> 00:27:57,833 And he pulled out a beauty. 500 00:27:59,375 --> 00:28:01,708 Like from here to Camilo's nose. 501 00:28:05,875 --> 00:28:08,416 He pulled out that beauty. 502 00:28:09,083 --> 00:28:11,500 stared at him and said: “Oh! 503 00:28:13,125 --> 00:28:15,958 Gentleman! 504 00:28:16,416 --> 00:28:20,208 With a thing like that I would keep giving him kisses.” 505 00:28:20,333 --> 00:28:23,291 He said: “And why do you think it's the hump, asshole?” 506 00:28:26,416 --> 00:28:28,458 In Sutamarchán in my town there was a fat guy... 507 00:28:28,541 --> 00:28:30,458 Listen, all the people are slim now. 508 00:28:30,541 --> 00:28:31,708 I don't see fat people today. 509 00:28:31,958 --> 00:28:34,166 Seriously. Although you can't call them fat anymore. 510 00:28:34,250 --> 00:28:37,416 Now you have to call him a person in the condition of a pig. 511 00:28:41,416 --> 00:28:43,666 In Sutamarchán there was a fat guy called Sebastian 512 00:28:43,750 --> 00:28:45,166 and he had a public van. 513 00:28:45,250 --> 00:28:46,833 One of those that carry passengers. 514 00:28:47,083 --> 00:28:49,500 Then they hired him to carry 15 police officers. 515 00:28:49,583 --> 00:28:50,625 And he went with his police officers. 516 00:28:50,708 --> 00:28:53,041 That was in 1999 when the country was not safe, 517 00:28:53,125 --> 00:28:54,208 because today it is no longer. 518 00:28:57,500 --> 00:28:59,833 Today there is total peace. 519 00:29:02,458 --> 00:29:05,541 The fat guy was driving his van with 15 police officers. 520 00:29:05,625 --> 00:29:08,125 The fat guy was called Sebastian, so to speak. 521 00:29:09,583 --> 00:29:10,833 When the guerrillas stopped them. 522 00:29:11,541 --> 00:29:13,291 “Commander” He said: “What happened?” 523 00:29:13,666 --> 00:29:15,208 “There is a fat guy here, a guy called Sebastian 524 00:29:15,291 --> 00:29:17,333 who is driving a van with 15 policemen. 525 00:29:17,416 --> 00:29:18,541 What do we do with the policemen?” 526 00:29:18,625 --> 00:29:20,583 He said: “fuck them in the ass.” 527 00:29:22,500 --> 00:29:24,208 “Commander.” He said: “What happened?” 528 00:29:24,375 --> 00:29:26,291 “What do we do with the fat guy? 529 00:29:26,541 --> 00:29:28,083 With Sebastian.” 530 00:29:28,500 --> 00:29:30,541 He said: “fuck him in the ass too.” 531 00:29:33,250 --> 00:29:34,791 They held the fat guy against the van 532 00:29:34,875 --> 00:29:36,333 and that fat guy just squeezed 533 00:29:36,416 --> 00:29:37,958 his ass so they wouldn’t do anything. 534 00:29:41,250 --> 00:29:43,625 “Commander.” He said: “What happened?” 535 00:29:43,708 --> 00:29:46,625 He said: “We couldn’t find the fat guy’s ass.” 536 00:29:51,416 --> 00:29:54,833 The commander says: “Repeat, repeat.” 537 00:29:56,125 --> 00:30:00,708 “Commander, we couldn’t find the fat guy’s ass.” 538 00:30:02,625 --> 00:30:05,500 And the commander: “Shoot him in the head.” 539 00:30:06,125 --> 00:30:08,375 And the fat guy says: “Come on!, look carefully, look” 540 00:30:12,666 --> 00:30:15,666 A man arrives: “Waiter,” he said, “Yes sir, at your service.” 541 00:30:15,750 --> 00:30:19,500 “Bring me a soup, bring me... 542 00:30:19,583 --> 00:30:22,250 well, a soup as a starter, bring me some spaghetti 543 00:30:22,625 --> 00:30:23,875 and bring me some meat. 544 00:30:23,958 --> 00:30:25,541 What is the name of Paraguayan meat? 545 00:30:25,666 --> 00:30:27,625 A steak? Yes? A steak? 546 00:30:29,875 --> 00:30:34,000 Steak, grilled stake. 547 00:30:35,708 --> 00:30:38,291 Why do you have to talk like that? Steak... 548 00:30:40,375 --> 00:30:41,708 And he had... 549 00:30:46,333 --> 00:30:49,125 a finger inside the soup, 550 00:30:49,708 --> 00:30:52,000 the finger inside the solid soup, what a man. 551 00:30:53,500 --> 00:30:54,916 And the finger inside there 552 00:30:55,166 --> 00:30:57,000 and the customer looked at it and said, 553 00:30:57,625 --> 00:31:00,083 he thought: “well, no, it shouldn't be anything serious, 554 00:31:00,166 --> 00:31:01,166 let's take the soup.” 555 00:31:01,791 --> 00:31:03,083 He finished the soup. 556 00:31:04,375 --> 00:31:06,750 I'm missing the spaghetti and the steak and the guava juice 557 00:31:06,833 --> 00:31:08,083 “I'll bring them to you sir.” 558 00:31:08,291 --> 00:31:09,625 And he comes with the spaghetti 559 00:31:09,708 --> 00:31:11,083 and the finger inside there too. 560 00:31:12,750 --> 00:31:14,791 And the gentleman: “Well, I've already had the soup, 561 00:31:14,875 --> 00:31:17,833 so what does it matter if I eat the spaghetti too” 562 00:31:17,916 --> 00:31:20,416 “I'm not going to make any complaint or anything like that.” 563 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:23,166 He ate the spaghetti. 564 00:31:23,250 --> 00:31:24,791 I'm missing the steak and the juice. 565 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,125 And the waiter... 566 00:31:27,625 --> 00:31:30,708 comes with the steak and the finger inside also. 567 00:31:36,041 --> 00:31:37,833 Go ahead, I'm missing the juice. 568 00:31:37,916 --> 00:31:39,541 Waiter... 569 00:31:40,041 --> 00:31:43,666 He came with the juice and his finger inside the juice. 570 00:31:43,750 --> 00:31:46,250 He said: “Look, no more, brother, no more.” 571 00:31:46,458 --> 00:31:48,000 “I asked for a solid soup, 572 00:31:48,083 --> 00:31:50,833 and you come with the finger inside the soup.” 573 00:31:51,125 --> 00:31:52,500 “I asked for the spaghetti, 574 00:31:52,583 --> 00:31:55,500 and you come with the finger inside the spaghetti.” 575 00:31:56,208 --> 00:31:58,250 “I asked for the steak... 576 00:31:59,583 --> 00:32:01,250 I asked for the steak, 577 00:32:01,708 --> 00:32:04,708 and you come with the finger in the steak.” 578 00:32:05,916 --> 00:32:07,166 “And I asked for the guava juice, 579 00:32:07,250 --> 00:32:09,708 and you come with the finger inside the guava juice. 580 00:32:09,791 --> 00:32:11,000 “What's going on?” 581 00:32:11,166 --> 00:32:14,041 Said: “Sir, what's happening is that I crushed this finger 582 00:32:14,625 --> 00:32:16,708 and acid came out there and I have pus.” 583 00:32:19,791 --> 00:32:20,916 “So, the doctor 584 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:24,125 recommended that I put it in something warm. That's why I... 585 00:32:24,833 --> 00:32:25,916 have to keep putting it 586 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,583 in the soup and in the spaghetti and in the steak.” 587 00:32:29,916 --> 00:32:30,833 And the customer says: 588 00:32:30,916 --> 00:32:32,958 “Well, why don't you put it in your ass?” 589 00:32:34,166 --> 00:32:36,208 He said, “That is where I had it, but...” 590 00:32:43,041 --> 00:32:44,791 ”I asked you if there were any married people here, 591 00:32:44,875 --> 00:32:45,916 because when I went to get married, 592 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,458 I said to my father-in-law: “Father-in-law... 593 00:32:47,875 --> 00:32:50,041 I want to marry your daughter.” 594 00:32:51,083 --> 00:32:52,208 He said: “Have you seen my wife?” 595 00:32:52,291 --> 00:32:54,041 I said: “Yes, but I didn’t like her at all.” 596 00:32:57,791 --> 00:33:00,000 “Father-in-law, I want to marry Daisy.” 597 00:33:02,333 --> 00:33:03,458 “Do you already have a place to put her?” 598 00:33:03,541 --> 00:33:05,458 I said: “No, that’s why I want to get married.” 599 00:33:16,500 --> 00:33:18,208 One day my woman said to me: 600 00:33:18,708 --> 00:33:19,500 “Do you know?” 601 00:33:19,583 --> 00:33:20,666 I said: “What happened?” 602 00:33:20,958 --> 00:33:22,708 She said: “The priest who married us died. 603 00:33:22,791 --> 00:33:25,083 I said: “Ah, he who does it has to pay for it.” 604 00:33:27,416 --> 00:33:30,916 A guy came to a bank, he came and said 605 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:34,041 also with some money, with a briefcase full of money 606 00:33:34,708 --> 00:33:36,833 And the secretary was there, the young lady, helping 607 00:33:36,916 --> 00:33:38,666 She said: “Hello.” She said: “Yes, sir, at your service.” 608 00:33:38,750 --> 00:33:39,708 What, at your service or anything? 609 00:33:39,791 --> 00:33:41,541 I need to open a fucking account here quickly 610 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,083 “Oh sir, but please don't be so rude, 611 00:33:44,166 --> 00:33:44,833 what is that language.” 612 00:33:44,916 --> 00:33:47,625 What the fuck? Go quickly, open that account. 613 00:33:47,916 --> 00:33:50,250 He said: “No, no, no, I can't help you like that with that rudeness.” 614 00:33:50,333 --> 00:33:51,375 “Oh, this fucking lady! 615 00:33:51,458 --> 00:33:53,750 Come on, do me a favor, and help me now.” 616 00:33:53,916 --> 00:33:55,958 He said: “No, I'm going to call the manager then...” 617 00:33:56,041 --> 00:33:58,333 “Go on, call the old bastard, quickly.” 618 00:33:58,958 --> 00:34:00,125 And he went to the manager. 619 00:34:00,208 --> 00:34:02,625 Mr. manager, there's a man out there, he is all rude, 620 00:34:02,708 --> 00:34:05,291 who came and said, open an account and all rude. 621 00:34:05,375 --> 00:34:07,500 So I told him I was going to call the manager, and he said: 622 00:34:07,583 --> 00:34:08,958 “Oh, go and call that old bastard,” 623 00:34:09,041 --> 00:34:10,458 the manager said: “Is that what he said?” 624 00:34:10,541 --> 00:34:12,500 He said: “Yes" He said, come on, I'll confront him.” 625 00:34:12,625 --> 00:34:14,916 And the manager, who was called Roberto 626 00:34:16,458 --> 00:34:17,291 “At your service,” he said, 627 00:34:17,375 --> 00:34:19,541 “I want to let you know that I won the lottery 628 00:34:20,166 --> 00:34:24,458 And I have 10 billion pesos in this briefcase 629 00:34:24,750 --> 00:34:27,708 and I need to open a fucking account. 630 00:34:28,125 --> 00:34:30,583 And it must be in this bank.” 631 00:34:31,375 --> 00:34:32,250 And the manager says to him: 632 00:34:32,333 --> 00:34:34,708 “Oh, and this bitch is giving you problems or what?” 633 00:34:46,833 --> 00:34:49,125 I affectionately call my wife, my little fly. 634 00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:53,958 Because when is morning, she wakes up, 635 00:34:54,041 --> 00:34:57,291 she rubs her hands, she rubs her eyes 636 00:34:57,375 --> 00:34:59,333 and she fucks around all day. 637 00:35:03,500 --> 00:35:05,291 The child tells me: “Dad, my mom hit me” 638 00:35:05,375 --> 00:35:07,125 I say: “But if she hits me.” 639 00:35:09,250 --> 00:35:11,416 The thieves got in and she made them mop. 640 00:35:11,500 --> 00:35:13,083 She really has a temper... 641 00:35:15,250 --> 00:35:16,791 He went to the doctor and said: 642 00:35:16,875 --> 00:35:18,541 “Doctor, I get angry about everything, 643 00:35:18,625 --> 00:35:21,083 everything bothers me, everything makes me sick.” 644 00:35:21,375 --> 00:35:22,333 The doctor: “Since when?” 645 00:35:22,416 --> 00:35:24,833 “Since when, bastard? Since when what?” 646 00:35:25,458 --> 00:35:27,541 At this moment, 647 00:35:27,625 --> 00:35:30,625 the spiritual powers interrupt in, 648 00:35:30,708 --> 00:35:34,833 because Master Sutatán has arrived. 649 00:35:40,750 --> 00:35:43,250 Thank goodness I am a fortune teller. 650 00:35:45,125 --> 00:35:49,208 With you, Professor Sutatán, the only one, the capable one. 651 00:35:49,416 --> 00:35:51,541 Do you have any problems with love? 652 00:35:52,166 --> 00:35:53,166 Are you have such bad luck 653 00:35:53,250 --> 00:35:55,875 that they raffled off 99 gays and an old lady? 654 00:35:57,875 --> 00:35:59,625 And precisely, you won the old lady. 655 00:36:01,125 --> 00:36:02,916 Come to my office. 656 00:36:03,833 --> 00:36:05,708 Remember, big problem, big cock, 657 00:36:05,791 --> 00:36:07,333 small problem, small cock. 658 00:36:07,416 --> 00:36:08,875 If there is no problem, there is no cock. 659 00:36:08,958 --> 00:36:10,541 If there is no cock, what a problem! 660 00:36:14,375 --> 00:36:16,083 Are you having problems in business? 661 00:36:16,166 --> 00:36:17,791 Are you saltier than a body button? 662 00:36:17,875 --> 00:36:19,833 Come to my office. 663 00:36:24,750 --> 00:36:26,583 That body needs to be washed, right, honey? 664 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,416 Are you saltier than a stripper pole? 665 00:36:36,500 --> 00:36:38,458 Come to my office. 666 00:36:39,166 --> 00:36:41,916 I was coming here to my office when an old lady, 667 00:36:45,041 --> 00:36:46,750 who was there, horny. 668 00:36:48,291 --> 00:36:52,250 “Professor Sutatán, great knowledge, food of knowledge, 669 00:36:52,333 --> 00:36:54,833 bulldozer of wisdom, bus of teaching.” 670 00:36:54,916 --> 00:36:56,875 What happened to you crazy bitch old lady? 671 00:37:03,458 --> 00:37:06,166 “I came to have my pussy blessed.” 672 00:37:06,416 --> 00:37:07,625 I said: “How old are you?” 673 00:37:07,708 --> 00:37:08,833 “94 years old, professor” 674 00:37:08,916 --> 00:37:11,416 I said: “No, I don’t get involved with stuffed animals.” 675 00:37:13,750 --> 00:37:14,500 Good! 676 00:37:15,458 --> 00:37:16,583 We make a connection 677 00:37:16,666 --> 00:37:18,250 with the higher spheres of the other world, 678 00:37:18,333 --> 00:37:20,458 exactly of San José of the hole. 679 00:37:22,291 --> 00:37:23,875 And I am going to bless that cock first, 680 00:37:23,958 --> 00:37:28,083 big cock, little cock, may that cock be really nice. 681 00:37:29,250 --> 00:37:32,291 Colombian cock, Paraguayan cock, 682 00:37:33,458 --> 00:37:36,583 may that blessed cock be walking there. 683 00:37:39,916 --> 00:37:42,416 Big cock, may there be no harm, 684 00:37:42,500 --> 00:37:45,708 even for this couple, who is quite homosexual. 685 00:37:49,625 --> 00:37:51,833 Big cock, may destiny have in store for you, 686 00:37:51,916 --> 00:37:54,041 even for Don Enrique, who can’t get it up anymore. 687 00:37:58,708 --> 00:38:01,625 And for the pair of Edwines, the blessing also applies, 688 00:38:01,708 --> 00:38:03,541 especially the day before with the faggot face. 689 00:38:17,125 --> 00:38:20,375 We make an intrastellar connection with my crystal ball. 690 00:38:20,666 --> 00:38:23,083 ¡Hummm! 691 00:38:23,750 --> 00:38:25,125 ¡Hummm! 692 00:38:25,333 --> 00:38:26,125 Everyone help me. 693 00:38:26,208 --> 00:38:28,416 - ¡Hummm! - ¡Hummm! 694 00:38:28,750 --> 00:38:30,625 ¡Hummm! 695 00:38:30,708 --> 00:38:34,250 Spirits from beyond Paraguay come here. 696 00:38:34,375 --> 00:38:36,375 Well, but I do see a client coming, 697 00:38:36,458 --> 00:38:40,125 I see that it is a beautiful lady, 90, 60, 90, 698 00:38:40,708 --> 00:38:44,791 who comes to have a consultation with Professor Sutatán. 699 00:38:45,333 --> 00:38:46,625 Go ahead, sister. 700 00:38:47,833 --> 00:38:49,583 Fuck, this ball is still damaged. 701 00:38:52,083 --> 00:38:54,000 Go ahead, sister, come closer, please. 702 00:38:54,458 --> 00:38:55,291 Welcome. 703 00:38:55,375 --> 00:38:57,250 How are you feeling? Has your pussy been blessed yet? 704 00:38:57,333 --> 00:38:58,041 Ay, no. 705 00:38:58,125 --> 00:39:01,375 Then, let's bless it. No, that is a triple X one. 706 00:39:04,375 --> 00:39:06,000 Please, bring me the giant one. 707 00:39:07,458 --> 00:39:10,458 Big cock, little cock, let that animal be well blessed. 708 00:39:10,541 --> 00:39:12,500 That needs about one hundred blessings. 709 00:39:13,791 --> 00:39:15,333 By the powders of Mother Celestina, 710 00:39:15,416 --> 00:39:17,750 some go below and may others go above. 711 00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:21,958 Welcome, sister. 712 00:39:22,041 --> 00:39:23,583 Speaking of cocks, You remind me of something. 713 00:39:23,666 --> 00:39:24,416 What? 714 00:39:24,500 --> 00:39:27,333 is just that last night I was with my boyfriend. 715 00:39:27,416 --> 00:39:28,083 What happened? 716 00:39:28,166 --> 00:39:29,958 He started kissing me here. 717 00:39:30,041 --> 00:39:32,958 Show me, oh, he left you hickeys, look at that. 718 00:39:33,041 --> 00:39:34,166 And then he started to... 719 00:39:34,250 --> 00:39:37,416 I see you have a little hole here; he sucked you the hole, look at that. 720 00:39:38,166 --> 00:39:38,958 And then what happened? 721 00:39:39,083 --> 00:39:42,125 And he started going down here, here, here and kissing me here. 722 00:39:42,458 --> 00:39:43,875 - the boobies? - Yes. 723 00:39:43,958 --> 00:39:45,875 - But how daring - Yes 724 00:39:45,958 --> 00:39:48,125 - And what else did he do to you? - Very daring hands, very daring. 725 00:39:48,208 --> 00:39:48,916 And what else did he do to you? 726 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,250 He started going down, down, and kissing me here, my abdomen. 727 00:39:51,333 --> 00:39:53,250 - My little abdomen? - Well, yes. 728 00:40:01,583 --> 00:40:03,875 And he started kissing your little abdomen. 729 00:40:04,333 --> 00:40:05,708 What else did that daring guy do to you? 730 00:40:05,791 --> 00:40:08,791 He kept going down, down, down and kissed my little belly button 731 00:40:08,875 --> 00:40:11,000 - On the outside? - Yes. 732 00:40:11,875 --> 00:40:12,958 He kissed your little belly button. 733 00:40:13,125 --> 00:40:15,500 No, but how daring. And what else did he do to you? 734 00:40:15,583 --> 00:40:18,625 He kept going down and unclipped my pants. 735 00:40:18,708 --> 00:40:21,666 Ay no, honey, go on, tell your dad that I'm getting an erection. 736 00:40:33,958 --> 00:40:37,583 Well, through my interstellar line, the Internet, 737 00:40:37,666 --> 00:40:40,791 Of the crystal ball, I get letters, I get a letter from... 738 00:40:45,458 --> 00:40:46,500 Dear Professor Sutatán, 739 00:40:46,583 --> 00:40:48,708 I'm writing to you from San José del Arroyo, Paraguay, 740 00:40:48,791 --> 00:40:49,916 to ask you the following. 741 00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,291 I'm a lady who lives with two friends 742 00:40:55,291 --> 00:40:58,625 and we've been going through health problems. 743 00:40:59,500 --> 00:41:01,708 The question is the following, Professor Sutatán. 744 00:41:02,750 --> 00:41:04,791 Can we bathe with diarrhea? 745 00:41:07,291 --> 00:41:09,375 If you get enough shit, do it, honey. 746 00:41:15,458 --> 00:41:18,333 Writes to me, aka the pothead, 747 00:41:20,833 --> 00:41:22,250 Professor Sutatán, 748 00:41:23,708 --> 00:41:26,708 I'm very weak with men 749 00:41:29,250 --> 00:41:30,666 and I keep giving it away everywhere, 750 00:41:30,750 --> 00:41:32,125 in Colombia, in Paraguay, 751 00:41:35,250 --> 00:41:38,250 in Argentina, in Mexico, everywhere I'm giving it away. 752 00:41:38,625 --> 00:41:40,583 In the United States I'm giving it away. 753 00:41:41,541 --> 00:41:43,583 Should I put a copper “T” in? 754 00:41:44,083 --> 00:41:47,125 No, honey, put a "P" for prostitute and charge instead. 755 00:41:54,250 --> 00:41:58,125 I see in my crystal ball that a very elegant man is coming, 756 00:41:59,291 --> 00:42:03,625 a man of 90, 60, 90 is coming. 757 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,000 This shit is damaged again. 758 00:42:09,666 --> 00:42:11,791 Welcome brother, first time you come, right? 759 00:42:11,875 --> 00:42:14,125 Yes sir, what's your problem? 760 00:42:14,791 --> 00:42:18,208 Professor, what happens is that I eat rice 761 00:42:18,541 --> 00:42:19,750 and shit rice. 762 00:42:19,916 --> 00:42:23,833 How so? Eat rice, shit rice. 763 00:42:24,208 --> 00:42:26,750 I eat bread and shit bread. 764 00:42:26,958 --> 00:42:29,000 Eat bread and shit bread. 765 00:42:29,291 --> 00:42:31,625 I eat steak, shit steak. 766 00:42:31,708 --> 00:42:33,875 You eat steak, shit steak. 767 00:42:33,958 --> 00:42:37,750 - What do I do, professor? - Well, I eat shit then. 768 00:42:46,333 --> 00:42:47,791 Professor Sutatán, 769 00:42:48,750 --> 00:42:50,625 from Paraguay, 770 00:42:51,291 --> 00:42:53,833 the question is the following. 771 00:42:57,833 --> 00:43:04,625 Will technology be able to displace paper? 772 00:43:05,833 --> 00:43:07,333 I think not, my lady. 773 00:43:08,333 --> 00:43:11,500 Try to wipe your ass with a cell phone and you'll see that no. 774 00:43:14,708 --> 00:43:19,041 Professor Sutatán is leaving for the afterlife, 775 00:43:19,125 --> 00:43:22,583 because he got tired of being here. 776 00:43:43,666 --> 00:43:45,083 These old ladies, they see you 777 00:43:45,166 --> 00:43:47,250 and start to drool over you here. 778 00:43:48,125 --> 00:43:51,083 You spend eight days dripping with drool here. 779 00:43:52,708 --> 00:43:54,083 And they ask me how my cousins 780 00:43:54,166 --> 00:43:55,875 are distinguished when it comes to intimacy. 781 00:43:55,958 --> 00:43:58,125 That is according to the country where they were born, for example: 782 00:43:59,666 --> 00:44:01,708 What does the Argentine say when they are in the intimacy? 783 00:44:01,791 --> 00:44:05,166 “You are great, you are a phenomenon.” 784 00:44:05,708 --> 00:44:06,916 What does the Brazilian say? 785 00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:10,958 “Eu my cock is more grand d world... 786 00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:14,666 Explore yourself” 787 00:44:15,375 --> 00:44:16,333 What does the gringa say? 788 00:44:16,416 --> 00:44:18,375 Oh my god! 789 00:44:19,958 --> 00:44:20,708 The French woman 790 00:44:20,791 --> 00:44:22,291 “Je ne se pa, Je ne se pa” 791 00:44:22,375 --> 00:44:25,166 Which means: Fill me up, fill me up 792 00:44:32,041 --> 00:44:35,083 What does the German say? Squeeze me! 793 00:44:36,458 --> 00:44:37,458 What does the Spanish say? 794 00:44:37,541 --> 00:44:39,000 Fuck, fuck that ass! 795 00:44:39,083 --> 00:44:41,416 I told her: “Wait, honey, let’s take it one step at a time. 796 00:44:42,125 --> 00:44:43,125 Let’s take it one step at a time 797 00:44:43,208 --> 00:44:45,375 and wait, let me finish here first, honey.” 798 00:44:46,083 --> 00:44:48,541 And what do my countrywomen from Colombia say? 799 00:44:48,916 --> 00:44:52,208 “It’s true that you’re not going to think anything bad of me.” 800 00:44:55,666 --> 00:44:57,625 Technology is hard for me. 801 00:44:57,708 --> 00:44:59,541 I ordered a thing on Amazon, 802 00:44:59,708 --> 00:45:02,083 a penis enlargement device. 803 00:45:03,250 --> 00:45:06,833 I wanted it to be bigger, even though I have a big one. 804 00:45:09,791 --> 00:45:11,000 Daddy, when I was born, 805 00:45:11,083 --> 00:45:13,083 people thought that was the umbilical cord 806 00:45:13,166 --> 00:45:15,125 and no, that was mine. 807 00:45:16,166 --> 00:45:19,833 Mine has a foreskin, beforeskin and afterskin. 808 00:45:20,541 --> 00:45:21,958 So I ordered on Amazon 809 00:45:22,041 --> 00:45:24,833 one of those things they call a penis enlarger. 810 00:45:24,916 --> 00:45:27,291 And what! I just got a magnifying glass. 811 00:45:32,250 --> 00:45:34,958 The old man came to the doctor and said: 812 00:45:35,083 --> 00:45:38,375 “Doctor, imagine that this morning I was bathing in the tub 813 00:45:38,458 --> 00:45:40,416 and I felt that it got hard.” 814 00:45:40,666 --> 00:45:42,166 “Don Roberto, how old are you?” 815 00:45:42,250 --> 00:45:43,208 He said: “92.” 816 00:45:43,291 --> 00:45:46,000 He said: “No daddy, I was just floating around.” 817 00:45:48,583 --> 00:45:51,083 Humor in Colombia, it really is something that grows wild. 818 00:45:51,166 --> 00:45:53,375 For example, from Pasto to the Coast. 819 00:45:53,541 --> 00:45:55,500 In Pasto it is wonderful, really. 820 00:45:55,583 --> 00:45:58,625 In Pasto they mixed a guinea pig with a lion and a big ass came out. 821 00:46:01,458 --> 00:46:02,375 One man from Valle said to another: 822 00:46:02,458 --> 00:46:04,833 “look, there is a party in Palmira on Sunday.” 823 00:46:05,166 --> 00:46:06,125 He said: “And are you gonna go?” 824 00:46:06,208 --> 00:46:07,833 He said: “No Gonna, is not going.” 825 00:46:12,833 --> 00:46:14,791 For example, humor from Huila. 826 00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:18,625 Two people from Huila were talking and one said to the other: 827 00:46:19,458 --> 00:46:23,125 “What is the life of the one-eyed Fidelino?” 828 00:46:23,666 --> 00:46:27,500 He said: “One-eyed Fidelino is now rotten in money.” 829 00:46:27,833 --> 00:46:29,125 He said: “Did he win the lottery?” 830 00:46:29,208 --> 00:46:31,583 He said: “No, he died in Money, Huila.” 831 00:46:35,416 --> 00:46:37,166 Humor from Bogota. 832 00:46:37,583 --> 00:46:39,583 Some people from Bogota were talking, some cachacos, 833 00:46:39,666 --> 00:46:42,916 That is how we call the people from Bogota, 834 00:46:43,416 --> 00:46:44,875 and they were talking like this: 835 00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:47,750 “Come on, look, we are here at the theater 836 00:46:47,916 --> 00:46:49,875 Come on, look, here we are, 837 00:46:49,958 --> 00:46:53,166 here is Gabriel, here is Enrique, here is Johnny, 838 00:46:53,708 --> 00:46:55,416 here is Edwin, 839 00:46:55,750 --> 00:46:59,041 here is Carlos, they are all here, the Paraguayans are here 840 00:46:59,416 --> 00:47:01,875 Yes, Daisy also came, yes. 841 00:47:05,625 --> 00:47:09,833 Come on, look, here is Dr. Urrea, Dr. Piorrea, 842 00:47:09,958 --> 00:47:14,000 Dr. Urruticoechea and Dr. Bengüechea. 843 00:47:14,166 --> 00:47:16,000 The other one said to him: “It's because I have diarrhea.” 844 00:47:16,083 --> 00:47:18,041 He said: “Bring him in, bring him in.” 845 00:47:24,791 --> 00:47:27,250 The people from Bogota who are so elegant and so cachacos, 846 00:47:27,333 --> 00:47:29,291 a cachaco was like this in his luxury car 847 00:47:30,333 --> 00:47:32,958 He was driving his car, in his brand new car, 848 00:47:33,416 --> 00:47:36,500 when suddenly he splashed a child 849 00:47:36,750 --> 00:47:41,750 And the child: “ah, why don’t you go and splash your mother” 850 00:47:43,708 --> 00:47:45,625 The doctor arrived at the office and the other said to him: 851 00:47:45,708 --> 00:47:47,125 “Doctor Urrutia, what happened to you, 852 00:47:47,208 --> 00:47:48,666 I see you are upset.” 853 00:47:49,416 --> 00:47:52,125 He said: “No, it’s that I accidentally splashed a child” 854 00:47:52,333 --> 00:47:53,541 and he treated me badly.” 855 00:47:54,916 --> 00:47:56,083 He said: “And did he say rude things to you?” 856 00:47:56,166 --> 00:47:58,625 He said: “No, but he talked badly about mom.” 857 00:48:05,291 --> 00:48:08,125 The cachaco later in his car got a flat tire, 858 00:48:08,208 --> 00:48:10,166 How do they call tires in Paraguay? 859 00:48:10,291 --> 00:48:11,041 Tire. 860 00:48:11,125 --> 00:48:13,083 Oh, we finally agree on something, okay! 861 00:48:14,666 --> 00:48:16,041 He got a flat tire and said: 862 00:48:16,125 --> 00:48:19,125 “Damn, and now I have this car, damn it.” 863 00:48:19,375 --> 00:48:21,375 And he got out and there was a mechanic there, he said: 864 00:48:21,458 --> 00:48:24,958 “Hi, if you can fix my car’s flat tire, please.” 865 00:48:25,083 --> 00:48:27,750 He said: “No, that’s not me, I’m a mechanic, the tire repair shop 866 00:48:27,833 --> 00:48:30,416 It’s on the corner, go on, ask him for “Stick face.” 867 00:48:32,583 --> 00:48:36,041 “You don’t think that I’m going to say such nonsense, 868 00:48:36,250 --> 00:48:37,416 What’s the gentleman’s name?” 869 00:48:37,500 --> 00:48:39,708 He said: “Well, I know him as “Stick face.” 870 00:48:40,750 --> 00:48:41,750 Go on, ask on the corner, 871 00:48:41,833 --> 00:48:44,083 otherwise you won’t get that shit fixed.” 872 00:48:45,500 --> 00:48:47,791 “Come on, but how am I going to call the gentleman that way, 873 00:48:47,875 --> 00:48:48,583 give me his name.” 874 00:48:48,666 --> 00:48:50,250 “His name is “Stick face.” 875 00:48:51,250 --> 00:48:52,791 And the man from Bogotá arrived there. 876 00:48:53,458 --> 00:48:55,166 Hello, excuse me, 877 00:48:55,416 --> 00:48:58,291 the gentleman with the wooden face. 878 00:49:10,583 --> 00:49:12,916 We were missing the humor from Boyacá and the humor from the coast, 879 00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:14,250 the humor from Boyacá: There... 880 00:49:14,333 --> 00:49:16,458 were some politicians in a truck over there in Boyacá 881 00:49:16,541 --> 00:49:17,708 and the truck overturned. 882 00:49:18,125 --> 00:49:20,041 Then the prosecutor, arrived, 883 00:49:20,166 --> 00:49:21,833 and they asked the man, what happened? 884 00:49:21,916 --> 00:49:23,333 He said: “No, well a truck overturned there 885 00:49:23,416 --> 00:49:24,625 with all those politicians.” 886 00:49:24,791 --> 00:49:25,583 He said: “And what happened?” 887 00:49:25,666 --> 00:49:28,125 He said: “Well I dug a hole and buried them all.” 888 00:49:28,666 --> 00:49:31,125 He said: “And were they all dead?” 889 00:49:31,208 --> 00:49:32,708 He said: “Well, some said no, 890 00:49:32,791 --> 00:49:35,083 but politicians are such liars.” 891 00:49:46,125 --> 00:49:50,041 On the Caribbean coast it is something peculiar, really. 892 00:49:50,208 --> 00:49:52,875 There respect lasts maybe five minutes. 893 00:49:54,125 --> 00:49:56,458 It is a very happy region. As soon as you get off the plane. 894 00:49:56,541 --> 00:49:58,833 “Wow, Mr. Jedi, what’s up? How are you doing? 895 00:49:59,125 --> 00:50:01,708 Three minutes later, hey old Jedi, what about you? 896 00:50:02,375 --> 00:50:04,083 You are such a cock. 897 00:50:07,250 --> 00:50:09,833 Seven minutes later, "You are a faggot." 898 00:50:11,416 --> 00:50:14,041 Another man from Barranquilla came and knock. 899 00:50:14,791 --> 00:50:19,708 Hey, do me a favor, Mr. big cock. 900 00:50:20,833 --> 00:50:24,750 I already told you that my name is Maximus Cook. 901 00:50:35,583 --> 00:50:38,458 You will see this all over the world, thanks to the Lord. 902 00:50:38,541 --> 00:50:39,708 In Canada, the United States, 903 00:50:39,791 --> 00:50:41,208 Mexico, Costa Rica, 904 00:50:43,708 --> 00:50:46,333 Colombia, Peru, Argentina and... 905 00:50:46,416 --> 00:50:47,791 Paraguay! 906 00:50:47,875 --> 00:50:50,958 Thank you, God bless you, thank you very much! 907 00:50:51,833 --> 00:50:55,041 Thank you, my dear audience, thank you!